Many of us as church leaders have growing sexual struggles. Our private life underneath does not match what we portray on the outside. Then the question arises, “Should I share my sexual struggles with my church leaders?” The short answer is: “yes.” The better answer is: “yes, but wisely.” Let’s…
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“My Boyfriend Watches Porn!” 7 Realities to Consider
If you’ve discovered your boyfriend watches porn, you’re not alone. I got a letter from a young woman asking about how to deal with her boyfriend’s porn habit while dating. She gave me permission to share what she writes. “My boyfriend has been using porn since adolescence. During college he…
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The Covenant Eyes Podcast
Covenant Eyes has a new podcast! Join us as we talk about the ramifications of pornography use in our hyper-sexualized society. Experts from a cross-section of fields join Covenant Eyes each week to talk about helping Christians battle: Pornography addictions Sexual brokenness Restoring marriages Parenting in an over-sexualized culture Host…
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4 Sneaky Places That Normalize Porn Use for Kids
Younger kids access stuff out there that isn’t exactly 100% porn or isn’t so intense that it seems to be really bad. That leads them into thinking porn isn’t so bad and eventually looking at a lot of hardcore porn. – A 21-year-old student As the quote above indicates, we really…
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Therapeutic Disclosure: How It Can Help Your Marriage Heal
What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You Imagine you go to the doctor and learn that you might have cancer. You are sent home and told to come back next week to find out. You don’t know if you have cancer, what kind, or your prognosis. Suddenly you don’t know what…
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Porn and Anxiety: What Does Research Tell Us?
Is there a connection between watching porn and anxiety? Perhaps you’ve been experiencing anxiety and have wondered if it’s related to your porn habit. Maybe you’ve noticed a friend or loved one who seems especially anxious, and you’re concerned that porn might be causing it. Let’s take a look at…
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Are You Mastering Technology or Being Mastered by It?
We have access to mind-boggling technology, and our culture is devoted to using it effectively. Too often, however, our technology uses us. It’s very evident with things like pornography. But even apart from porn, we often struggle to use our computers, tablets, and smartphones to the glory of God. Thankfully,…
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Adding Adult or Explicit sites as Allowed Sites
Purpose: MCAs may be asked to add a URL, to the Custom Website List (CWL), that is adult or explicit in nature. It’s uncommon, but it could happen. MCAs have discretion in these cases. Process A helpful tool is https://dnsblacklist.org/ Open that up. Enter the URL and see what dnsblacklist says…
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Understanding the Shame Cycle
Shame plays a very important role in the ongoing use of pornography. In his book Unwanted, Jay Stringer found that for each unit of shame they felt, men were 300x more likely and women were 546x more likely to look at porn. And, Dr. Patrick Carnes, a founding father of…
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The Ultimate Guide to Identifying (and Redirecting) Your Porn Triggers
The great military strategist Sun Tzu once said, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” In the battle against porn, knowing your triggers and the triggers around you is critical to victory. Therapists often use the acronym “HALT” to…