Here are two contrasting cultural beliefs for you to consider:
- Sex is the best thing on the planet
- Heaven is full of the best things we can imagine
So if both of these things are true, why does the Bible tell us there won’t be any sex in heaven?
No Sex in Heaven?
In Matthew 22:30, Jesus says, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”
I’ve expounded elsewhere how God designed sex to happen within marriage only, so we can naturally deduce here, as the original listeners would have automatically, that if there is no marriage in heaven, there is also no sex.
No sex in heaven? Many might ask what the other options are at this point!
One of the reasons this news shocks us is because we view sex and heaven selfishly. Culturally, sex has become a selfish act of consumption. And our view of heaven is typically a place of self-centered utopia. We picture beaches and paradise and all the pleasure for ourselves that we can dream of, often not with much thought about God being around at all. This me-centered paradise is a great match for lots of sex for all of eternity. In fact, several of the main world religions promise this (maybe a clue that those religions were made up by a man? But I digress…)
But thank goodness that’s not what heaven, or sex, is meant to be according to the Bible.
Sex is a one-flesh relationship that bonds a man and a woman together in every way possible. It’s why this one-flesh relationship can only function healthily within marriage. The one-flesh bond includes full acceptance and commitment to all a person is, not simply their body parts (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:4-6, 1 Cor. 6:15-16). You are one flesh, at all times, in all ways, which can’t be undone.
This sounds pretty amazing, and deep, and night-and-day different from what our culture calls “sex” today. But there’s more. This sex and this one flesh don’t exist for their own end. They aren’t the destination, they are simply another sign post. A sign post pointing to where?
What Sex Really Points To
After giving a treatise on marriage and sex, Ephesians 5 concludes with the following:
“’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32).
Heyo! The whole time Paul was talking about husbands and wives and marriage and sex in Ephesians 5, it says here he was actually talking about Jesus and us! Marriage and sex are metaphors for the relationship we have with Jesus.
What is a metaphor? It is a sign post. It points to the real thing. It’s something tangible we can look at in order to understand something else. It’s a symbol we can learn from in order to understand and experience the real thing.
The real thing is the one-flesh relationship Jesus desires to have with each of us. It’s the relationship he has with those who call themselves Christians. It’s a relationship of intimate love and acceptance and support and trust, where Jesus is the groom and we are the bride. Earthly marriage and sex are symbols that can help point us toward the real thing.
This is why there is no sex in heaven. You don’t need sign posts when you’ve arrived at the destination!
It’d be like driving to Disney World and parking the car at the green highway sign with the white text of “DISNEY WORLD” and the white arrow pointing to the off ramp. Imagine parking your car there, taking a selfie with the family, and then driving home, telling everyone you’d been to Disney World!
The destination is always better than the sign post.
Heaven Is Not a Perpetual Fast
Some might disagree! But the reason for the disagreement is because we’ve been worshiping the sign post for far too long and we simply don’t have the full experience of the real thing yet. In talking of the perspective that heaven would be a “perpetual fast” from sex in the minds of some, C.S. Lewis had this to say:
“…or else of a perpetual fast. As regards the fast, I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure, should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer no, he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.
We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it.”
-C.S. Lewis, as quoted in a 1947 Time Magazine article
A boy can’t understand if you try to tell him sex is the highest bodily pleasure, because he is convinced chocolate is and isn’t ready to understand sex. We can’t understand that pure intimacy with God in his direct presence is what makes heaven, Heaven, not that it’s some me-centered place where we eat Bons Bons on the beach, while watching Netflix, and of course, having sex. Nor can we fully grasp that intimacy with God is better than sex, both now and for all eternity. But the truth remains, which we are exhorted to believe and live by.
This is fantastic news. We worship sex on earth, but it’s also our place of deepest longing and brokenness. A single person feels unloved because they don’t have a sexual partner. A married person goes to pornography, an affair, or fantasy, because the sexual partner they do have isn’t satisfying them.
The Answer to Our Longing for Sex
The answer to our longing for sex is not sex! It’s intimacy with Jesus. We get to experience this intimacy on earth. This unconditional love where God adopts us as his sons and daughters and is well-pleased with us and we are fully accepted into his arms because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. But imagine this experience in a fully direct, physical way. Wow! That is heaven.
This gives us reason to not worship sex and it also reminds us we don’t need sex. Whether we experience the sign post or not is somewhat irrelevant. What is relevant is that we take God at his word that the destination will be much better, attuning all of our navigational tools toward that destination, not any metaphor, imitation, or sign post along the way.
Rai , do you have a reply to my comment here of
January 10th, 2022 at 9:10pm ?
Hope you have a Happy & Safe 2022
Rai , These days many people say things like
“No one is entitled to Sex” &
“No one is entitled to anything” Is that really a Biblical Christian perspective ? Also why must they use the word entitled ? I feel that all human beings should have a great Sex Life, Love Life and decent Quality of Life overall. If Not in this life, at least in Heaven and the New Earth. At least that .
Playboy Magazine said in the early 2000s that all human beings deserve to have a great Sex Life. I think most Christians would agree with that statement.
Plus when I said I feel that all people should have great Sex Lives , Love Lives & overall Quality of Life in this current Earthly life. Just to clarify, I’m Not talking about the false “Prosperity Gospel” that some preacher teach today.
What is your opinion of the Bible verse John 14: 2 where Jesus mentions “Many Mansions” according to the KJV, while other translations translate it as
“many rooms” Do you think Christians will have their own homes in Heaven, ? Do you think there will be Privacy or Secrets in Heaven ?
Shalom, My friend and brother.
Apologies for the late reply, been busy in the real although temporal, world.
“Some say”
“Many people say”
“They say”
WHO cares what people, angels, devils or even aliens may say, if aliens exist, AS LONG AS your eyes AND ears are FIXED on GOD’s promise?
Like Martha, you worry about too many things. But take My brother advice, IGNORE them.
IGNORE humans no matter how rich, poor, intellectual or influential they are.
Be OPEN only to the words of GOD and His Son Jesus Christ, then you will have PEACE even if the whole world condemns you and mocks your beliefs.
GOD Bless
See the blog post https://genderlovesexuality.wordpress.com/2021/10/22/my-thoughts-about-sexuality-and-marriage-in-heaven/
Thank you for the link Jonathan and thank you for pointing them to the comments on this page, especially to My Bible Based understanding on the subject. GOD Bless
Rai & Others , Myself and other Christians agree, that when God gives the saved the things they want & desire in Heaven, and the New Earth, it should never be like that famous expression “Be Careful what you wish for” . That would then mean that the fulfilled wants & desires of Christians would backfire on them and create suffering , and in Heaven and the New Earth there is No Suffering , am I right ?
Straight Answer?
Yes.
Only those things that are GOOD as it is written
Psalms 84:11 (KJV) For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no GOOD THING will He withold from them that walk uprightly.
And since GOD and NOT the Devil created ALL things that are beautiful and that INCLUDES sex and procreation, that is one of the wishes that will be granted and fulfilled in A WORLD MADE NEW with PERFECT offspring and a PERFECT, immortal, righteous, ageless, generation.
They shall not LABOUR in vain, labor BRING FORTH for trouble; for they are the SEED of the blessed of the LORD, and their OFFSPRING with them.
And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock: and dust shall be the serpent’s meat. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 65:23-25 (KJV)
ALL these happening NOT now BUT as The Apostle Peter who KNEW the Prophecy of Isaiah well, in The NEW HEAVENS AND THE NEW EARTH … The Home of Righteousness. (2 Peter 3:13)
Blessings to ALL the faithful, until Messiah Returns.
AMEN.
“It’s intimacy with Jesus. We get to experience this intimacy on earth. This unconditional love where God adopts us as his sons and daughters and is well-pleased with us and we are fully accepted into his arms because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. But imagine this experience in a fully direct, physical way. Wow! That is heaven.”
That doesn’t help. They seem different. Doesn’t feel like a sign to Disneyland or a model airplane, metaphorically speaking. Because I want a female partner, and Jesus is male. You know how people appreciate their opposites?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure marriage is supposed to be horizontal, not vertical like our relationship with Jesus.
Does sexual pleasure really point to something in heaven given by the Lamb?
Good Point, Jonathan. Intimacy with Jesus is spiritual, we, COLLECTIVELY, as His Bride, however INDIVIDUALLY, as males, it’s normal for us to seek a female partner to satisfy our needs not just lusts/ desires as normal human beings.
This is why GOD creates females to supply that need.
If intimacy with GOD was enough for Adam then WHY did He create Eve?
Was it just for sexual pleasure, procreation OR partnership?
From that standpoint, we can begin the journey.
Jesus is not gay or even bi. I highly doubt Jesus was ever tempted by homosexuality.
Jonathan, why should we Not trust Swedenborg ?
Because of his heresy.
The following articles are based on the teachings of Emmanuel Swedenborg: https://leewoof.org/2015/08/31/can-you-fall-in-love-in-heaven-if-you-havent-found-someone-on-earth/ and https://leewoof.org/2017/01/12/didnt-jesus-say-theres-no-marriage-in-heaven/. Jack Wellman at https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/ doesn’t allow such links on his site.
Don’t trust Swedenborg!
See https://genderlovesexuality.wordpress.com/2021/09/10/why-doesnt-everyone-have-soulmate/
If it’s inappropriate, just disable the link if you can.
Rai, You typed
on September 18th, 2021 at 3:11pm
“Some PEOPLE say.
Who do YOU trust more?
GOD or man?” God of course, however what is your opinion and does the Bible agree with the statement
“There are no guarantees when it comes to the Afterlife”
It’s very sad how things are getting worse and worse in America and Worldwide, I’ve read that many people are pessimistic about the future
Well since you’ve mentioned guarantees, let’s look INTO Holy Scripture, what GOD, not us, thinks about it,
… so that your faith would not be based on human wisdom but on the Power of GOD. (1 Corinthians 2:5 (NET)
On Genesis 9:12-17 (NET) after GOD sent a flood to wipe out the wicked, He gave a sign of His Covenant to Noah, the rainbow on the sky—
And GOD said, “This is the guarantee of the covenant I am making with you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all subsequent generations:
I will place my rainbow in the clouds, and it will become a GUARANTEE of the covenant between Me AND the earth.
Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds,
then I will remember my covenant with you and with all living creatures of all kinds. Never again will the waters become a flood and destroy all living things.
When the rainbow is in the clouds, I will notice it and remember the PERPETUAL covenant between God and all living creatures of all kinds that are on the earth.”
So GOD said to Noah, “This is the guarantee of the covenant that I am confirming between Me AND all living things that are on the earth.”
Here we have seen that since the beginning, GOD gave mankind a sign from the sky, a RAINBOW to REMIND them of His Faithfulness to His COVENANT, and that “rainbow in the clouds … will become a GUARANTEE of the covenant between (GOD) AND the earth.”
As we have seen, that Rainbow AFTER the rain was mentioned multiple times in the Scripture, such as the vision the prophet Ezekiel saw on 1:26-28, when he saw a RAINBOW surrounding GOD’s Throne.
Take note that before The Creator, the rainbow doesn’t only appear after the rain BUT is FOREVER surrounding GOD’s Throne, which means that GOD will ALWAYS be mindful of His Covenant between Him and His People.
As king David wrote in the Psalms 111:5—
He ALWAYS remembers His Covenant.
Always as The Rainbow is ALWAYS before His Throne, from Genesis to Revelation
On Revelation 4:3 we read—
And The One seated on it was like jasper and carnelian in appearance, and A RAINBOW looking like it was made of emerald encircled The Throne.
This should be enough to encourage us that GOD
… is faithful to His covenant with those who love Him and keep His commandments. (Daniel 9:4 (NET)
A covenant is synonymous to an agreement AND a promise between two or three individuals, in this case, GOD and His People.
Part of GOD’s Covenant, is to bless those who love Him with everlasting life and to give them their heart’s desires.
As it is written,
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: NO GOOD THING will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.
And THAT is GUARANTEED.
For however MANY are the promises of GOD, in Him (Yeshua) is the “Yes.” Therefore also through him is the “Amen”, to the glory of GOD through us.
(2 Corinthians 1:20 (WEBM)
Be Comforted My friend with GOD’s Word, and His Promise that those who overcome will inherit ALL things. (Revelation 21:7)
GUARANTEED!
Yes. Our enemies will pay for everything they’ve done. Evildoers will never get away with what they’ve done. So will the Devil.
I have another comparison: Windows 10 and 10 Pro. Windows 7 Home Premium vs. Windows 7 Professional and Ultimate. Comparing sex to heaven, and chocolates to sex could be like comparing Windows 10 Home to Pro or 7 Home Basic to Professional and Ultimate.
Or a model airplane to the real thing.
Or baby milk to adult food such as steak, mashed potatoes, pasta, bread, pizza, vegetables, and such.
https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/sexuality/whats-the-purpose-of-sexuality-if-im-single/ – why would God take away part of what he made us to be?
The site says the following:
Sexual desire invites you to pursue covenant.
Sexual intimacy within marriage is the celebration of covenant.
Sexual faithfulness is the promise of covenant.
Then if you don’t get that covenant on Earth, then why don’t you get in heaven what you pursued? Why don’t you get what you were invited to?