Here are two contrasting cultural beliefs for you to consider:
- Sex is the best thing on the planet
- Heaven is full of the best things we can imagine
So if both of these things are true, why does the Bible tell us there won’t be any sex in heaven?
No Sex in Heaven?
In Matthew 22:30, Jesus says, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”
I’ve expounded elsewhere how God designed sex to happen within marriage only, so we can naturally deduce here, as the original listeners would have automatically, that if there is no marriage in heaven, there is also no sex.
No sex in heaven? Many might ask what the other options are at this point!
One of the reasons this news shocks us is because we view sex and heaven selfishly. Culturally, sex has become a selfish act of consumption. And our view of heaven is typically a place of self-centered utopia. We picture beaches and paradise and all the pleasure for ourselves that we can dream of, often not with much thought about God being around at all. This me-centered paradise is a great match for lots of sex for all of eternity. In fact, several of the main world religions promise this (maybe a clue that those religions were made up by a man? But I digress…)
But thank goodness that’s not what heaven, or sex, is meant to be according to the Bible.
Sex is a one-flesh relationship that bonds a man and a woman together in every way possible. It’s why this one-flesh relationship can only function healthily within marriage. The one-flesh bond includes full acceptance and commitment to all a person is, not simply their body parts (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:4-6, 1 Cor. 6:15-16). You are one flesh, at all times, in all ways, which can’t be undone.
This sounds pretty amazing, and deep, and night-and-day different from what our culture calls “sex” today. But there’s more. This sex and this one flesh don’t exist for their own end. They aren’t the destination, they are simply another sign post. A sign post pointing to where?
What Sex Really Points To
After giving a treatise on marriage and sex, Ephesians 5 concludes with the following:
“’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32).
Heyo! The whole time Paul was talking about husbands and wives and marriage and sex in Ephesians 5, it says here he was actually talking about Jesus and us! Marriage and sex are metaphors for the relationship we have with Jesus.
What is a metaphor? It is a sign post. It points to the real thing. It’s something tangible we can look at in order to understand something else. It’s a symbol we can learn from in order to understand and experience the real thing.
The real thing is the one-flesh relationship Jesus desires to have with each of us. It’s the relationship he has with those who call themselves Christians. It’s a relationship of intimate love and acceptance and support and trust, where Jesus is the groom and we are the bride. Earthly marriage and sex are symbols that can help point us toward the real thing.
This is why there is no sex in heaven. You don’t need sign posts when you’ve arrived at the destination!
It’d be like driving to Disney World and parking the car at the green highway sign with the white text of “DISNEY WORLD” and the white arrow pointing to the off ramp. Imagine parking your car there, taking a selfie with the family, and then driving home, telling everyone you’d been to Disney World!
The destination is always better than the sign post.
Heaven Is Not a Perpetual Fast
Some might disagree! But the reason for the disagreement is because we’ve been worshiping the sign post for far too long and we simply don’t have the full experience of the real thing yet. In talking of the perspective that heaven would be a “perpetual fast” from sex in the minds of some, C.S. Lewis had this to say:
“…or else of a perpetual fast. As regards the fast, I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure, should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer no, he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.
We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it.”
-C.S. Lewis, as quoted in a 1947 Time Magazine article
A boy can’t understand if you try to tell him sex is the highest bodily pleasure, because he is convinced chocolate is and isn’t ready to understand sex. We can’t understand that pure intimacy with God in his direct presence is what makes heaven, Heaven, not that it’s some me-centered place where we eat Bons Bons on the beach, while watching Netflix, and of course, having sex. Nor can we fully grasp that intimacy with God is better than sex, both now and for all eternity. But the truth remains, which we are exhorted to believe and live by.
This is fantastic news. We worship sex on earth, but it’s also our place of deepest longing and brokenness. A single person feels unloved because they don’t have a sexual partner. A married person goes to pornography, an affair, or fantasy, because the sexual partner they do have isn’t satisfying them.
The Answer to Our Longing for Sex
The answer to our longing for sex is not sex! It’s intimacy with Jesus. We get to experience this intimacy on earth. This unconditional love where God adopts us as his sons and daughters and is well-pleased with us and we are fully accepted into his arms because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. But imagine this experience in a fully direct, physical way. Wow! That is heaven.
This gives us reason to not worship sex and it also reminds us we don’t need sex. Whether we experience the sign post or not is somewhat irrelevant. What is relevant is that we take God at his word that the destination will be much better, attuning all of our navigational tools toward that destination, not any metaphor, imitation, or sign post along the way.
Blessing to you Rai
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of you father and your dear friend. 2020 and 2021 has not been kind to anyone.
Thank you for kind words and sharing scripture. Today wasn’t a good day for me. I miss my boyfriend so much. Your words and reflection definitely came as a comfort. As I process my grief and start to find comfort and peace. I often have to remind myself He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. I’m taking one moment at a time one day at a time. Once again I thank you!!!
Grace and Peace
Amen to everything you have said, dear sister and glory to GOD who gives wisdom to man.
Keep your eyes fixed on Christ and on The World to Come not this old passing one.
Our Life there would certainly be, far more exciting and beautiful than anything we can ever imagine, A World where LIFE IN ITS FULLNESS will have its ultimate reality. (John 10:10)
No amount of pain, sadness or sorrow that we have felt or experienced here can outweigh the matchless bliss and euphoria that shall be ours there, forever.
In the immortal words of The Apostle Paul …
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
Yes.
And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. (Isaiah 35:10 (KJV)
Weeping may remain for a night; but JOY COMETH in The Morning. (Psalms 30:5)
To this we say
Amen.
Come, Lord Jesus.
Hey Jeff, I believe what Rai has to say on everything that he has written. I have yet to see someone break it down/explain scripture that way he does. I believe the Good Lord gives certain people ways of being able to comprehend scripture better and than utilizes he or her to explain it further. We are in critical times as Rai has mentioned and his words are encouraging. Quite frankly, I have struggled over the past few months in certain areas and many of those areas are revealed in the above from Rai. Although I still struggle a bit, I believe that I was lead to this site for comfort.
Hi Rai,
I have read and Re-read your commentary a few times and I am thankful for your in depth knowledge with scripture. Your commentary opened my eyes (hence re-reading) to beyond imaginable. You have given me a sense of peace the way you cite scripture and for that I am thankful for you. Thank you for citing scripture without adding and defining what certain things mean.
Nick, so basically you agree with Rai when he says
Sexual Intercourse & Lovemaking will exist for Christians in
Heaven and in the New Earth, see my other comments in reply to this article, because let’s be Frank, countless Christians want there to be Sex in Heaven and in the New Earth. Imagine in Heaven and the New Earth, the Sex will be Incredible, there will be no diseases No STD’s, No unwanted pregnancies, so no need for Condoms or birth control. !!! I’ve noticed how in recent years more and more Mainstream Christians are having an open mind about the possibility of there being Sexual Intercourse & Lovemaking in Heaven and in the New Earth !!!
The Lord be praised if you’re blessed brother Nick. I consider it a great honor to be His instrument to encourage others, especially in this critical times.
Keep looking upwards. May His Blessing and Protection be on you and your family.
Certainly glad there is no marriage or sex in hevean! Because here on earth I’m not interested in sex or my wife of almost 60 years. She is not a partner in life just another person!
Genesis 2:18, 24 and Isaiah 65:17-25 contradict you. Making people not care about what creation we get the most joy from would manipulate free will.
Sean , as to your post of
July 15th, 2021 at 10:36pm , are you saying that you think
Christians in Heaven and the New Earth will enjoy Sex and Lovemaking… ?
Shalom Jeff.
I encourage you to go to Youtube, type in
Eternal Companionship is FOREVER!!! Heavenly Places!! Portal of God
by Prophets among us
to make it easier for you, tap on this link
https://youtu.be/iJmS6bGAMhM
You’ll see one who shares our same belief, based on Scripture and also, added confirmation by visions from The Lord.
Be blessed
I for one hope that when my mom dies and goes to heaven, she will be reunited with my dad. On that same note I hope that I will be reunited with my boyfriend that died 3 weeks ago. Our life together was cut short and I’ll never know if we would have gotten married. Just because he died doesn’t mean our love died.
For all the couples that couldn’t have children on earth. For all the singles for whatever reason didn’t have a mate on earth. I hope the dreams in heart on earth will be fulfilled in heaven.
Shalom Angie.
I, no, we feel sorry for your loss, a loss that we all have experienced one way or another in this short journey called Life.
I know what it feels like to lose a parent, on My part, a father and a dear friend I lost last year, which I couldn’t even visit because of the lockdowns and social distancing.
Be assured that our Lord, who has also lost a dear friend of His named Lazarus, understands your pain.
But just as He assured Martha that her brother will rise again on John 11:23, I’m giving you, in His Name, the same assurance that your father with your lover, will rise again.
And that hope of the resurrection is what keeps our love alive.
You’re right by saying that just because your boyfriend died doesn’t mean your love died.
Had to admit, that note was very touching, but its true.
Because nothing, not even death can separate us from GOD’s love, nothing in this universe can severe the bond you have, with your beloved. (Romans 8:39)
So don’t be overwhelmed by sadness but like men who waits for the coming of dawn, keep looking forward to the Return of the Dawnstar, The Bright and Morning Star, Christ Jesus, who with His Heavenly Father and ours will wipe away all tears from all faces. (Isaiah 25:8 & Revelation 21:4)
Be comforted sister
You will forget your misery. You will remember it like waters that have passed away.
Life will be clearer than the noonday. Though there is darkness, it will be as the morning.
You will be secure, because there is hope. Yes, you will search, and will take your rest in safety. Job 11:16-18 (WEB)
Your sun shall not go in any more, and your moon shall not be removed; for Jehovah will become your everlasting light; and the days of your mourning shall end.
Isaiah 60:20 (LITV)
Yeah, whatever.
If that floats your boat, that is fine. But I don’t care how true it may all be, the idea that we will no longer be having sex or marriage kind of relationships for the rest of an eternity makes me feel repulsed.
And don’t you know there are those single people who are angry and long for a relationship, but may not be able to get one if they are disabled or awkward for whatever reason?
Sean, so do you think Sex & Lovemaking exists in
Heaven and in the World to Come ?
Its understandable for the author of this blog who maybe* married in this life NOT to care about sex and marriage in the next life for having experienced it here and care LESS about those singles or unmarried ones for some reason or another, because he and those like him has already experienced a pleasure which they will be deprived for all eternity.
Selflessness, is the key.
Like the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, Lazarus, representing those who have been deprived of physical, emotional or material pleasures and the rich man those who have all they want in this life, those unmarried will have a better portion in the Life to Come, while those who have had partners here, may not experience the same pleasure BECAUSE they already had their share of happiness, in this life.
Rai, we all thank the author of this blog, In the Christian Afterlife , there should be Sex, Love and Companionship for Everyone, no one should be Starving for Sex in Heaven and in the World to Come, the New Earth , especially since in this Earthly Life now for Countless Disabled and Healthy people alike, it is an Extremely Serious Painful Problem when they are unable to get Sex, Love, Companionship, Relationships, Human Touch & Physical Intimacy, and it’s worse in a culture where people are constantly bombarded with Sexual Images in the Media, Advertising , etc
The thing is with Sex being such a huge part of the Bible, both Old & New Testaments , it’s hard to imagine
Sex & Lovemaking Not existing in Heaven and in the New Earth ,
I’ve read very sad stories of Sexually Less Fortunate & Sexually Frustrated people who have gone for many many years, sometimes for Decades upon Decades upon Decades without Sex, Love & Companionship, and I say
Never Again , Never Again should anyone be Starving for Sex, Love or Companionship in Heaven and in the New Earth, Never Again For Anyone
Rai, So while I personally think Sex & Lovemaking exists in Heaven and in the World to Come, what about other things we enjoy of Earthly Life, such as TV shows, Movies, Video Games, Sports, Our Beloved Pets, etc.
Do you think those things will exist in Heaven and the New Earth, for Example, sometimes we hear stories in the Media about a person who is Terminally ill with Cancer who got their dying wish fulfilled of seeing this or that new movie before they passed away, and they loved it, My Mother loved the First Two Ghostbusters Films, she passed away in September 2014 at the age of 63, since God can do anything, perhaps in Heaven she got to see the 2016 Ghostbusters film with the 4 Female
Ghostbusters, and who knows, perhaps my Mother has already seen Ghostbusters: Afterlife in Heaven, God could have allowed her and other People in Heaven to see
Ghostbusters: Afterlife in Heaven, before we humans on Earth get to see it, even though Ghostbusters: Afterlife won’t be released until November 11, 2021. Certainly it is within God’s power to show my Mother and other People in Heaven
the New film “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” in Heaven before we humans on Earth get to see it , or perhaps my Mother and other People in Heaven have already seen Indiana Jones 5 , even though Harrison Ford is still in the process of filming it, and it won’t be released until 2022
Jeff.
If it says more, AS long as its NOT harmful, but beautiful, loving delightful and pleasurable, it means MORE than whatever we ask OR think.
The Joy and Bliss in Heaven and the World to Come, is immeasurable and everlasting, just as Our Heavenly Father is everlasting.
No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. (Psalms 84:11)
Rai, I hate to be a pest or be Obsessive, but what do you think about the various points I made in my most recent post of
June 28th, 2021 – 5:27pm , Countless Christians want there to be Sex, Lovemaking & Physical Intimacy in Heaven, even if they don’t say it, there is too much Loneliness & Social Isolation in this Earthly life now
Hi Jeff
No, you’re not “a pest or obsessive” either to Me OR to the author of this blog, as Abraham wasn’t considered a pest by GOD for asking questions regarding Sodom’s fate on Genesis 18:23-33.
Its okay to ask questions, as that’s one of the ways we get the answers we long for.
Ive nothing much to say about your post of June 28th, 2021 – 5:27pm.
All I could say is what The Scripture tells us, that GOD will give us MORE than what we ask or think, in His Time.
Thank you in advance to the author of this blog for approving our posts