Here are two contrasting cultural beliefs for you to consider:
- Sex is the best thing on the planet
- Heaven is full of the best things we can imagine
So if both of these things are true, why does the Bible tell us there won’t be any sex in heaven?
No Sex in Heaven?
In Matthew 22:30, Jesus says, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”
I’ve expounded elsewhere how God designed sex to happen within marriage only, so we can naturally deduce here, as the original listeners would have automatically, that if there is no marriage in heaven, there is also no sex.
No sex in heaven? Many might ask what the other options are at this point!
One of the reasons this news shocks us is because we view sex and heaven selfishly. Culturally, sex has become a selfish act of consumption. And our view of heaven is typically a place of self-centered utopia. We picture beaches and paradise and all the pleasure for ourselves that we can dream of, often not with much thought about God being around at all. This me-centered paradise is a great match for lots of sex for all of eternity. In fact, several of the main world religions promise this (maybe a clue that those religions were made up by a man? But I digress…)
But thank goodness that’s not what heaven, or sex, is meant to be according to the Bible.
Sex is a one-flesh relationship that bonds a man and a woman together in every way possible. It’s why this one-flesh relationship can only function healthily within marriage. The one-flesh bond includes full acceptance and commitment to all a person is, not simply their body parts (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:4-6, 1 Cor. 6:15-16). You are one flesh, at all times, in all ways, which can’t be undone.
This sounds pretty amazing, and deep, and night-and-day different from what our culture calls “sex” today. But there’s more. This sex and this one flesh don’t exist for their own end. They aren’t the destination, they are simply another sign post. A sign post pointing to where?
What Sex Really Points To
After giving a treatise on marriage and sex, Ephesians 5 concludes with the following:
“’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32).
Heyo! The whole time Paul was talking about husbands and wives and marriage and sex in Ephesians 5, it says here he was actually talking about Jesus and us! Marriage and sex are metaphors for the relationship we have with Jesus.
What is a metaphor? It is a sign post. It points to the real thing. It’s something tangible we can look at in order to understand something else. It’s a symbol we can learn from in order to understand and experience the real thing.
The real thing is the one-flesh relationship Jesus desires to have with each of us. It’s the relationship he has with those who call themselves Christians. It’s a relationship of intimate love and acceptance and support and trust, where Jesus is the groom and we are the bride. Earthly marriage and sex are symbols that can help point us toward the real thing.
This is why there is no sex in heaven. You don’t need sign posts when you’ve arrived at the destination!
It’d be like driving to Disney World and parking the car at the green highway sign with the white text of “DISNEY WORLD” and the white arrow pointing to the off ramp. Imagine parking your car there, taking a selfie with the family, and then driving home, telling everyone you’d been to Disney World!
The destination is always better than the sign post.
Heaven Is Not a Perpetual Fast
Some might disagree! But the reason for the disagreement is because we’ve been worshiping the sign post for far too long and we simply don’t have the full experience of the real thing yet. In talking of the perspective that heaven would be a “perpetual fast” from sex in the minds of some, C.S. Lewis had this to say:
“…or else of a perpetual fast. As regards the fast, I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure, should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer no, he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.
We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it.”
-C.S. Lewis, as quoted in a 1947 Time Magazine article
A boy can’t understand if you try to tell him sex is the highest bodily pleasure, because he is convinced chocolate is and isn’t ready to understand sex. We can’t understand that pure intimacy with God in his direct presence is what makes heaven, Heaven, not that it’s some me-centered place where we eat Bons Bons on the beach, while watching Netflix, and of course, having sex. Nor can we fully grasp that intimacy with God is better than sex, both now and for all eternity. But the truth remains, which we are exhorted to believe and live by.
This is fantastic news. We worship sex on earth, but it’s also our place of deepest longing and brokenness. A single person feels unloved because they don’t have a sexual partner. A married person goes to pornography, an affair, or fantasy, because the sexual partner they do have isn’t satisfying them.
The Answer to Our Longing for Sex
The answer to our longing for sex is not sex! It’s intimacy with Jesus. We get to experience this intimacy on earth. This unconditional love where God adopts us as his sons and daughters and is well-pleased with us and we are fully accepted into his arms because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. But imagine this experience in a fully direct, physical way. Wow! That is heaven.
This gives us reason to not worship sex and it also reminds us we don’t need sex. Whether we experience the sign post or not is somewhat irrelevant. What is relevant is that we take God at his word that the destination will be much better, attuning all of our navigational tools toward that destination, not any metaphor, imitation, or sign post along the way.
That’s based on your erroneous view of sex as one who does NOT understand The Scripture FULLY, like the pharisees. To understand The Bible FULLY, one should not add OR subtract from the written Word AND inject his preconceived ideas on it, based on how his society understands goodness and morality, but must make SURE his understanding fits GOD’s definition of right or wrong BASED on The Scripture.
The Bible nowhere says WORD FOR WORD that there is NO sex in Heaven. WHERE have you read that? It ONLY says there are no MARRIAGES in the Resurrection.
To understand this better from A BIBLICAL and MESSIANIC Viewpoint please allow Me share with you what יהוה taught Me on this subject based on The Scripture, and NOT on according to Western Culture about sex and the Afterlife.
The MAIN Reason
why religious leaders
fall to immorality.
Its not just because of this (James 1:14) but because of this (Matthew 22:30)
This may come a bit strange to most, but I browsed all over the net and I found out one of the MAIN (among the many) reasons why some, if not most people, including Believers are involved in immorality and sexual scandals BECAUSE of the belief that there is “NO sex” (procreation) in Heaven (more accurately: The Resurrection).
So then (they reason to themselves) “if you can’t get to enjoy that kind of pleasure in the Afterlife why not do it here even if its risky? Right?”
Now I know they don’t speak it outright, but their ACTIONS tell plainly what their MINDS believe. Its similar to our former belief as Catholics that in Heaven OR at the World to Come no one gets thirsty or hungry and then right off the bat, we say that no one eats OR drinks in Heaven, (so we eat like gluttons here)—which is not the case, because men ALSO ate the Bread of Angels, once, Manna as they call it or (“what is this?” Psalms 78:25) during the time of Moses. This also reminds Me of the belief My countrymen has, that “in Heaven there is no beer” so they get drunk as if there’s no tomorrow, here. Wrong. In the World to Come there will be FEASTING, not just food and drinks but a Great Banquet.
READ IT.
On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a FEAST of RICH food for all peoples, a BANQUET of aged WINE– the best of MEATS and the FINEST of WINES. (Isaiah 25:6)
This is one of the reasons why The Son of Man talked often about A Wedding Feast (which is His) in one of His parables. (Matthew 22:2)
Now what Feast is there WITHOUT Food, Drinks and A GREAT Celebration?
Yes, their is something BETTER than Beer in Heaven and its called WINE.
And while its true that there are no marriages in The Resurrection, (Matthew 22:30) because believers are married to יהוה and To The Lamb (Hosea 2:19 & Revelations 19:6-9) I believe that there will still be sex and procreation in The New Heavens and New Earth, BASED on The Scripture and NOT on man’s erroneous and malicious understanding of sex on earth, and this is clearly stated on Isaiah 65:23.
They shall not labor in vain or BEAR CHILDREN for calamity, (obviously not happening in a fallen world we see today) for they shall be the offspring of the blessed of the LORD, (יהוה) and their descendants WITH them.
Question, WHEN will these things be? The preceding text on Isaiah 65:17 gives us the answer:
At the NEW Heavens and the NEW Earth.
GOD seeks “godly offspring” (Malachi 2:15) and WE, His Spiritual Bride, who are MARRIED to Him, (Hosea 2:19 & Revelations 19:6-9) will bring forth those “godly offspring” for Him in The World to Come, at The REGENERATION (Matthew 19:28) and the RESTORATION of ALL things. (Acts 3:21 & Isaiah 65:17)
THIS is what יהוה told Me, BASED on The Scripture. So don’t worry, married couples, your marriage on Earth to your spouse won’t be severed in Heaven and as for the eunuchs and singles I say in the Name of יהוה, be not discouraged or be tempted to commit immorality on Earth, (just because of that erroneous belief) you’ll get A Better Chance in the World to Come, (where EVERYTHING is PERFECT, no quarrelsome spouses, no stubborn children, with you and your partner staying forever youthful, etc) because sex and procreation was designed by GOD Almighty BEFORE the Fall of Man, NOT after it. (Genesis 1:28)
Control your urges. You are NOT deprived by יהוה who gives us ALL things to enjoy. (1 Timothy 6:17)
Blessed be His Name forever.
To the pure, ALL things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do NOT believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. (Titus 1:15)
I don’t like this. I am a man and I don’t want to have sex with Jesus. I don’t even want to think of Him in any intimate way. I’ll keep searching for a better explanation.
Hahahaha.
Of course its not having SAME sex with another Man (Jesus) bro, thats perversion and GOD hates it. That’s NOT what this whole topic is all about.
GOD Bless
@Rai
Way to completely miss the point of what he was saying.
Tamara Forsee Bacon, do you have a response to my post of January 3rd, 2020 ?
I agree with you, Jeff. Don’t be misled by those who disagree with you on this matter. GOD loves all HIS Children and He will give to everyone the BEST and GOOD things (not the bad ones) that was deprived to them on this world.
Very helpful and encouraging article. Thank you so much, and Lord bless your ministry!
Jeremiah,
You wrote:
“Notice He says no one will ‘marry’ or ‘be given’, and that these are both verbs. Jesus doesn’t mention those who are married.”
So, what I hear you saying is:
IF you are blessed to be married ON EARTH, THEN–and ONLY then–you will CONTINUE to be blessed with a marital/sexual relationship in Heaven.
HOWEVER, if you are NOT blessed to be married ON EARTH then, by your interpretation, NEITHER will you be blessed with a marital/sexual relationship in Heaven.
You see anything WRONG with this picture?
Tamara Forsee Bacon, What about the Many Countless Christians with Mental illness, Physical Disabilities ,Social Awkwardness, etc or unlucky in love Christians who are unable to get Married in this Life, who never marry in this life, it would be unjust & unfair of God to Deny them Sex in Heaven, while those who were Married in their Earthly Lives have all the Sex they want in Heaven , that would be really messed up, these Countless Disabled Christians In America & Worldwide who would love to get Married, yet cannot, they are unable to, it’s bad enough they could barely get Sex in this Life, God would Deny them Sex in Heaven,? That would be adding insult to injury Couldn’t God be Reasonable and Allow Certain Exceptions to be Made, what would those who never married in their Earthly lives be doing in Heaven, while those lucky enough to be Married in their Earthly Lives have Sex in Heaven ? In Heaven Sex should be For Everyone, regardless if they were Married or Not in their Earthly Lives
Hmmmmmmmmm another interesting read here…
Personally I’ve always fantasized that I would get into Heaven and that there would be no sex at all there
Your Biblical argument is extra intriguing and I admit I have never really noticed this quote of Jesus’s before. I believe I’ve seen it and read it yet not understood its implications before
Many thanks
Overall a very interesting site… I can’t recall what link or click brought me here but it’s an interesting discovery and this was quite a hopeful read for this personal reader
Noah I liked how you pointed out on a reply if it’s there great. If it isn’t there great. It leaves me to believe nobody is 100 percent sure the outcome. If you have any suggestions for me, please reply back. Thank you so much.
Amazing Write-up! I found your article quite interesting. The title itself is very unique and attracted me to read this. Keep sharing
“And to help married individuals who are struggling with their spouse and their sex life.”
I would say this article is not helpful at all to those who struggle with their spouse and their sex life. This article would tell me that a sexless marriage is no big deal because there won’t be sex in heaven so why be concerned. But this is one big fat rationalization for an unacceptable and unbiblical position, which is that a marriage without sex is something other than what it is – a fraud. The bible calls it defrauding. It is a betrayal every bit as evil as the porn addiction that also gets called “betrayal.”
And a logical problem arises from this cavalier and flippant attitude toward sexless marriage. Why do we take so seriously the betrayal of the marriage bed represented by pornography and take the betrayal of the marriage bed represented by sexless marriage so lightly. It is a clear double standard.
Islamic heaven has lots of sex. Maybe that is part of its appeal to some people?