Some time ago, we received a comment about quitting masturbation:
“I have eliminated porn from my life. How can I break the habit of masturbation and lust? Every time I get overwhelmed or stressed out, my mind clicks off and I end up giving in to the lust, masturbation, and fantasy. I could use your prayers please, and any good devotional.”
Like this person, you may feel trapped by habitual masturbation even after leaving porn behind. Christians have different convictions when it comes to masturbation.
However, it’s a habit that easily feels out of control, and many people (Christians and non-Christians alike) need help dealing with it.
Why Can’t I Stop Masturbating?
This question highlights our great need to guard our hearts above all else, because we live out of the overflow of our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). From a Christian perspective, breaking free of porn and masturbation means changing heart desires rather than just behaviors.
The Bible does not address masturbation directly—there’s no one passage that specifically forbids it as Matthew 5:28 forbids lusting after a person. But the Bible does address a myriad of heart-level issues tied to why people masturbate. Scripture also shows us the path to freedom.
The Connection Between Masturbation and Faith
What I loved about this question is how self-aware the questioner is. He has already identified the trigger of stress as a catalyst for his habit to fester. He sees masturbation as his habitual way to “escape” and feels he is not living out his values consistently. This ability to “see the sin before the sin” is a prerequisite step for anyone looking to overcome this habit.
In my experience, the battle with masturbation is a battle of faith. Behind any habit is a belief system that fuels it. We must replace the old belief system with a new one. We must fight this fight of faith on three fronts:
- In our triggers
- In our bodies
- In our deepest longings
How to Resist the Urge to Masturbate
Remember, before you think about overcoming masturbation, make sure you’ve taken the prerequisite step: quitting porn.
However, even after leaving porn behind, you may still wonder, “Why do I masturbate when I’m sad, lonely, or stressed?” The urge can feel overwhelming, and you may be discouraged by your repeated attempts to quit.
1. Identify Your Triggers
There are different kinds of triggers: external and internal. An external trigger might be spotting a racy billboard on the way to work or seeing a plunging neckline. Learning to bounce our eyes away from these sorts of triggers can be very helpful.
But it is our internal triggers that are the hardest to run from because they are…well…in us.
Stress as a Trigger
Like the gentleman quoted above, the trigger might be stress. We might turn to masturbation as our refuge, our stress reliever. Stress and anxiety ultimately come from our reactions to stressful situations or circumstances. Why do we react to stressors the way we do? We react with stress because of what we believe about the stressors and the significance we place on them. We need to ask ourselves: What do I believe that makes this situation or circumstance or condition stressful for me? Identify what lies you believe about the stressor and then diligently replace those lies with truth.
Envy as a Trigger
Our trigger might be envy. We might see our friends with their loving marital relationships and think: “I wish I was married,” or “I wish my marriage was more intimate.” We may turn to masturbation as a substitute for what we really want. Again, we must ask ourselves: What do I believe my sex drive is for? Is it to grasp at selfish pleasure, or is it to pursue oneness in marriage?
Anger at God as a Trigger
Our trigger might be anger at God. Perhaps we are dissatisfied with the way our life has turned out, so we blame God. We turn to masturbation as our own private activity that grasps for pleasure all our own, a corner of life we claim as wholly ours, a way to rebel. Again, the battle is one of faith: Why do we believe God owes us anything? Why do we think we ought to get what we desire?
2. Address Your Physical Tension
Our sex drives will inevitably build up physical tension, but it is our reaction to that tension that matters most. What are we believing that makes masturbation seem like the only way to release the build-up of testosterone?
God has created built-in release mechanisms for single men: either nocturnal emissions or absorption. For more thoughts on handling your sex drive when you’re single, check out For Singles: How to Handle a Strong Sex Drive in a God-honoring Way.
For couples, God has provided sex as a means of marital intimacy. Do we believe these systems are God-given means of taking care of our bodily drives, or do we believe masturbation is the only way? We must repent of our beliefs about masturbation and pray for a non-sinful release of tension in our members.
3. Examine Your Deep Longings
For many, sexual pleasure is the ultimate escape from reality. Like a drug, it provides a fantasy world where we can forget our sorrows or our boring lives. Instead of using masturbation as an escape from reality, we must learn the habit of escaping into reality, into God Himself. This, again, taps our faith.
Things to Do Instead of Masturbating
Do we believe God is an all-satisfying Being? Do we believe our chief purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever? In the Covenant Eyes ebook Hobbies and Habits, Lisa Eldred explores seven different types of hobbies that you can develop as alternatives to porn and masturbation. Here’s a brief summary:
- Creative hobbies like music, writing, or painting.
- Physical hobbies such as sports, or hiking.
- Practical hobbies including things like cooking and sewing.
- Intellectual hobbies like reading or learning a language.
- Experiential hobbies are sure to leave a lasting impression—like traveling or sky diving.
- Generous hobbies teach you to think about others. It might be serving at a local soup kitchen.
- Social hobbies connect you to other people, which is important because masturbation is a lonely and isolating habit.
Curious to learn more? Download the ebook for free! How has God helped you in your fight?
M fighting this battle for a long time.thnk u .twas very helpful
I need more than help to stop this.!!!!
You people are sick.
Only god has the right to judge, are you not saved? Or are you a holier than thou revieller, regardless of which you become what you judge! Love is so much stronger than hate, Rise above don’t falter to others. Jesus loves you mate, may god bless you!
Sick with sin. That is why we’re Christians. Because we know it.
There is a great Jesus based course that helps with pornography and masturbation addiction. It’s settingcaptivesfree.com. I did it last year and it helped a ton
@will – Yeah, that is a great course. I interviewed the founders, Mike and Jody Cleveland, not too long ago. You should listen to the podcasts (part 1 and part 2).
There is no “magic” word or bible verse that will eliminate lust or masturbation or pornography. There’s a GREAT book called,
“Healing the wounds of Sexual Addiction”
There is a section in the book that talks about playing Michael Jordan 1 on 1 and how I will lose EVERY time. Then it talks about getting a friend and playing Michael Jordan 2 on 1. We will STILL lose. Then another friend joins and now it’s 3 on 1. It will be harder for Jordan to win, but he will probably still take us. Get ANOTHER friend and now it’s 4 on 1 then 5 on 1. Sooner or later, WE will beat him.
It goes on to say that Michael Jordan in the story represents Pornography/Masturbation. When we attempt to fight it alone, we will ALWAYS lose. We need players on our team. What are players?
Books that deal with the subject (Healing the wounds of sexual addiction…False Intimacy…Don’t Call it Love..etc)
Filter on computer
Attending SA or another 12 step group
Therapy to deal with the subject
Burning ALL bridges that lead to porn. (CELL PHONES and iPods as well)
ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS that are NOT affraid to ask you..DID YOU LOOK AT PORN!
It’s through the connection of OTHERS that any real victory over this is possible. All the “players” on the team are important to beat the Michael Jordan of sin. Alone, we will ALWAYS lose to him.
God bless all.
The following are the effects of masturbation.
1. It reduces manpower
2. It reduces love for the opposite sex
3. It leads to prostate cancer in males
4. It may lead to homosexuality
5. It reduces life span
Prevention.
Stop masturbation in order to be free from the above. Make it your aim to stop the habit.
God can deliver all of you from masturbation. It is a sin and it will cause a person to lose their soul and burn in hell. However, God loves us all. Repent…Tell the God you’re sorry for sinning against him, asked him to come into your life and fill you with the Holy Ghost. God can deliver and keep you. God can do anything, but fail! You can do it! Jesus is soon to come, now is the time
There’s nothing wrong with masturbation. Rejoice and be glad in it!
Well this is the one thing that god really showed me conviction for, even really early on after being saved a month into. The only time so far I have been shown the fear of god, and I know for a fact that he is awaiting me now to beat this trial and walk further down the path with/in Christ. I have not hardly felt the holy spirit since and felt it tremendously before often for no reason at all. I have almost no knowledge of the bible and god’s teachings other than what I have studied in the past 2 months but I will overcome this in Jesus name, What really urks me is the real life situations at my job that really amazingly beautiful women of all ages want to flaunt around…almost like they know or sense that I am walking with Christ. Before maybe I was just less sensitive but now they are truly teasing me and giving me undeniable attention like never before. Almost like a married man that all the youthful half dressed beauties go after and at least attempt to get a rise from or attention, the truth is all women liked to be looked at and it truly can be disasterous in this immoral world we live in today. Stand up against hardships and god will reward you generously, but do it for the right reasons and it is possible, if you do it just to go to heaven you will surely fail. Know that you are holding your life back from what you could truly achieve at maybe 50% just as a drunkard or a druggie its a different size and type of needle/bottle. Think of it as such helps me, instead of thinking of it as something you might justify think of it as gross and intolerant to your own being and purpose as well as gods. Saying such be careful to as well not become self-righteous but moral and conscience of your thoughts is all. God gave us morals and wisdom you just have to break through the bad to reach the potential he gave to us naturally at birth. FREEDOM ISN’T FREE!
The Bible talks about the sin of h”sexual immortality; awakening sexual desires before it’s time. It may not be intercourse, but it’s still sexual pleasure before it’s time. This is something that I’ve c been praying about. I will be delivered, in the name of Jesus, as I made this promise to my soon to be husband. I don’t want to continue with this soon. Pray for me everyone!
Considering that facetious remark, you must not have a renewed mind (i won’t say, not saved, because even when faced, our eyes are still closed in some area. It’s a process of growth!
I am 28 and have had this problem with lust and masturbation since I was 8 years old. for many years I thought that it wasn’t a problem until I hit my late 20’s. I really want this sin out of my life and gone for good!!! At times when I do give in, I feel the Holy Spirit telling me to stop and sometimes don’t listen to Him. Please Help me. I know that there are many men and woman out there with the same issue. I don’t want to lose my life and be casted into hell because I didn’t take heed to the prompting of of the Holy Spirit or listen to my pastor’s or Bishop. I’m very in fear for my soul, even though I was born again and filled with the Holy Spirit, because even though someone is filled with the Spirit you still can go to hell
Hey there. Let me offer some resources that may help.
First of all, it might be a good idea to join a group like an online one at xxxChurch, or an in-person one like Celebrate Recovery. Having the caring support of others can be so helpful when we’re trying to make changes.
Secondly, it may help you also to look at the behavioral/habitual side of the problem through a program like Candeo. They have a program for those who struggle with masturbation.
And finally, I want to tell you that God loves you and walks with you. If he can take a person like King David, who was a murderer and a serial adulterer, and call him “a man after God’s own heart” then I’m pretty sure he can help you through this struggle as well. God knows we are human, he loves us, he has grace and help for us. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. He promises that nothing can separate us from his love. I think we have to trust those promises, trust that love, to carry us through.
Blessings, Kay
Fool.God forgive you. Do we live by science or de word of God.dnt blaspheme de word of God.
Michael, If your statement is true, then I have two questions for you (And you may very well be correct however.) Question one (A two part question): Is pornography a part of this act for yourself; if not, are there images and ways in which you are looking upon a woman to lust after her in your heart? Are there degradatious ways in which this act affects interpersonal relationship, specifically very close and intimate relationships? Question two: The apostle Paul speaks of taking part in meat offered to idols. He explains that it may be completely expedient (lawful or non-harming) for the person whose conscious is not convicted about consuming the meat, since that that defiles is not what goes in the body, but what comes out. He also says that if a brother stumbles (falters in conscience or faith) than for him to eat the meat, it would be sin; because he violated his own conscience. Here is the question: How are so many men convicted in their conscience? Because if they are, it has become sin. If it hasn’t, I dare say, that most likely the first question is probably answered in the affirmative and that person is either not convicted because they are not a believer, or that they are still a baby in the faith that has not understood the error in this practice.
Does that make sense? There is one other possible side to this. That there is really nothing wrong with it and that we men all need to be enlightened; but then again, if it’s a conscience issue, it has become sin.
I think this article is really helpful, but I still have questions.
Being a teenager, I know that my body is producing more hormones than it will at any other time in my life. This has previously led to porn (a problem that is starting to heal after months of sobriety), and now to masturbation.
The opinions of teenage masturbation differ greatly (http://bit.ly/dBWavL), but I know it will continue after this ‘flood’ of hormones ends. How do I deal with this when all other sexual outlets are closed off?
Thanks for the article: God bless.
@Matt – Good question. I agree that masturbation itself is not a sin issue. God does not call masturbation a sin. He does, however, call lust a sin. If masturbation is intimately tied to lust for you, which it often is, then you must either quit mental and physical habits that lead to masturbation, or you must divorce the act of masturbation from lust (which some claim is possible for them).
Bear in mind, God holds us to His standards for sexuality no matter our age. I do think when God speaks of “youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22), He is acknowledging just how alive a young man’s sex drive can be, but nonetheless he calls young men to “flee” from such lusts. The wonderful news is Christ’s power to overcome sin is give to His children regardless of age. As His child, you are no longer defined by your struggle with lust: you belong to Him and His strength is made perfect in your weakness.
Here’s a quote from Mark Driscoll’s book, Porn Again Christian, which might be helpful to you:
“Question: I am a single man who has a very strong sexual desire and do masturbate upon occasion to prevent a lack of self-control that would lead to lustful and sinful actions. When I masturbate I am not lusting, so is this okay?
Answer: First, I would encourage you to be working toward marriage since you are obviously not built by God to endure a life of singleness. Second, I would be very cautious in evaluating your heart since only you truly know if you are lusting when you masturbate. Third, it seems possible but unlikely to be sexually aroused without sexual thoughts; I guess you could think of tractors or something to divert yourself, which seems peculiar but not evil. Fourth, I would be careful to ensure that your masturbation does not lead you into pornography and other sins if/when it becomes unsatisfying.”
I encourage you to read the whole chapter he has on masturbation.
Please i need help..i have tried to stop maaturbation for a long period.it works at times but when am alone it set in..please help me out am tired of it .it makes me look helpless and makes me as if am a failure..
Hello – I’m so sorry that you feel overwhelmed. Many times, for those who want to stop, they are not able to do so unless they are really serious about stopping. That means removing all of the doorways to the porn that go with the masturbation and also getting serious about having another trusted person to talk to about this – accountability. Life is meant to be lived openly and honestly. Masturbation will keep pulling you back into the secret and dark unless you intentionally keep it out in the light and work very, very hard. It won’t go away easily, but IT IS POSSIBLE TO BREAK FREE!
Peace, Chris
I have tried my best and have tried other options from other people but I still go back to do it …I feel like killing my self because of it …I wish it will just happen like magic and stop.!!!
Hello – I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255, if you are in the United States. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.
God is for you! You can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you (can you go read that right now?). The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
Peace, Chris
To Chris McKenna …. when you say “why do you think God owes you this and that the other”….are you speaking corm a frustrated parents approach? If God gave you a powerful sex drive did He do so as a curse or punishment? or in the hope that at some point that will come to good use in your marriage? what is your angle? it sounds very self-righteous to me and makes me think you reaaaally know God’s plan for everyone. You must be quite the oracle…..so tell me please….is a powerful sex drive a curse from God? as long as it is unsatisfied ? and don’t be a coward and hide behind even more rhetorical questions or lame explanations. You made a pretentious claim. Defend it!
I think if a person wants to find victory over masturbation for the long-term, he or she has to find healthy outlets, healthy inlets, and work on healing the deeper hurts.
Deeper hurts – you already addressed this when you talk about the longings. What is the undercurrent that drives our desire to act out sexually. But also, what are the hurts and the woundings you have that need God’s healing touch?
Healthy Outlets – When we take the energy we have been pouring into sexual things and direct it into healthy directions, the pull to masturbate lessens. Since masturbation is so inward and so selfish, anytime we are pouring ourselves outward toward others and toward healthy habits it’s going to help.
Healthy Inlets – We have to make sure that we’re feeding ourselves with the right things – healthy things. The Word of God. Relationships that build us up. Good media. Good interaction with our spouse, or those that are close to us. Even reading books or listening to podcasts on sexual purity will help us put good things in.
Pour good things in. Pour good things out.
Good topic, Luke – one that so many have questions on, and struggle greatly with.
can I make friends with u,I also need some help that can let me get rid of it.
I know I’m not alone, many other men my age are struggling with this problem. I’ve masturbated so much, I can’t recall how much I’ve done it. Too much! It’s an internal struggle I have and I hope I can be cured from it with the power of Jesus Christ. I never give up on Jesus. Pray for me that I may get better!
I have really tried to avoid this but it has not been possible for me. What I know that nothign is imposssible with GOD. Pray for me.
frst of all i ll say that its very important to ask our self ‘why?’ why do i do that ? at very last u ll conclude that.its been fit in our subconcious mind .& when anything get fit in our s.mind then its very hard to remove, but again if u ask que to ur self that ‘why’? u ll get the the root cause of prblm.thats our mind follow the joy.weather it get from ri8 or wrong things its just follow.
finally we ll have to sacrify that joy for achive something .for our target to become something.& ll ve to focus and imagine the side effect of its.do this every time.u r s.concious mind ll accept it and u ll be free from that habbit.and then see the world.it ll be different!!
I just wish God will help me fight this musturbation thing because i have been doing that since i was in grade 10 and now i want to stop. Every time i find myself musturbation and i really cant tell anyone that because its embarrassing. But im gonna do all those three steps and hope God forgives me. The worst thing is that im not a man im a female
Hey there. God loves you and forgives you, NO MATTER WHAT. You don’t have to wait til you’re perfect! God loves you RIGHT NOW. Masturbation is a really normal sexual activity, and even a super conservative person like James Dobson will say so. It’s normal for women as well as men. Of course, anything normal can be taken to extremes: food, exercise, sex. But there is no reason for us to be afraid that God’s love and forgiveness are dependent on our behavior. And there’s no reason to be ashamed. We are perfectly loved, safe, and chosen at all times–and I think the knowledge and experience of that love is the one thing that gives us freedom and peace. Shame only drives us deeper into addictive cycles, looking for the way to feel okay about ourselves since WE ALL KNOW we can’t be perfect! Peace to you, Kay
Please help me I am a virgin ag 25 but I do masturbate I have tried to stop it both in prayers and seed sowing believing God to help me stop it to no avail please I need your advice,and prayers on what to do ,is only the things hindering me to serve God in spirit and truth what do I do ?
Hi, Jeff – I don’t want to overspiritualize this, so I’ll say it this way. Keep your hands off your private parts! Get more practical in your approach:
1. What was the trigger?
2. How did I respond to the trigger?
3. How will I respond next time?
If it happens in a certain place, don’t go there. If it happens by watching porn on a certain device, get rid of it. Become an investigator of your behaviors, learn from them, study them, and then head a new direction. I’m confident God will bless your practical effort.
Peace to you, Chris
but even if i pray the desire is there
Just believe in the power of love it can changes evarything
Love is a miracle! So many of us believe that if we just shame ourselves enough, that will make us change, when in fact, the exact opposite is true: only Love gives us the strength and courage to be with our pain in healthy ways that allow us to make better choices. Thanks for sharing!
I everyday use to it… I am addicted of masturbating since I am 13 years of age now im turning 24.I always say to myself that I could stop here but I can’t.. I really tired of being addict of masturbate… please pray for me too :’-(
Hi, Kier – at some point, you have to make a decision. I don’t know what else to tell you other than you’re stronger than you think you are. Do you have a deep-rooted desire to quit? No one can make you stop masturbating. It’s you, God’s help, your will, a daily decision, speaking openly with someone, identifying triggers, texting a friend when you’re struggling. I truly hope the best for you. May God give you grace. May grace guide your efforts. And, may your efforts succeed.
Best,
Chris
This was a really helpful article, really easy to understand. The main thing I would add is that a lot of time should be spent in reading the Bible and looking to know more about God. This will wash out the mind and way of thinking. In the guy who asked the question, it’s good that he has eliminated the porn, but he is probably struggling because he has left a vacuum of sorts. All the images are there to fuel fantasy and masturbation.
This has been a struggle for me and I thank God for his mercy and grace for my sin. Thanks for the tips.
Very useful.ice restored my faith in God and he helped me get rid of my sins.
This Article was indeed helpful. Sometimes I feel like I have beaten the urge only to find myself in the very place I was certain I’d avoid. It feels terrible sinning continually and knowning that He is watching and He still loves us. Sometimes I kinda wish that I could talk to God and hear his voice. It would be so much easier ?
If its an overwhelming thought, what do i do?
I really want to stop masturbation am fed up of it.. Guide me please. Coz I don’t want it anymore.
Hi A.J., I’m sorry for your struggle. It really can be difficult to move past this habit. If you’ve read the blog post, what have you tried? Do you have accountability in your life?
Chris
This has been a very helpful question and very helpful answer. Praying more for God’s focus, mercy, grace and control over my life.
Kicking masturbation is like giving up drugs a drinking this is your choice if it hard then think something. Good to do should not be hard keep trying never give up
I am so glad i stumbled on to your sight it has given me tools for success thanks keep me in prayers
I love this post
Hi this is helpful but i struggel every day but i know if i pray he will help me
I’ve been practicing this since some years back now, and I really need the solution. please help m
I have been struggling since childhood, but more in the last 10 yrs with being married. She has never known and I never would want to destroy our marriage in her knowing, God knows and I always disappoint him. I’ve had greater struggle after she told me she didn’t care if we never had sex. It hurt me so much because I’m a very romantic wanting guy and always wanted a close relationship, close in every way . I started having inability of carrying through with it and has destroyed my self esteem as a man. Every time we try I know I won’t be able, so I end up doing it to myself to knowi can do it. I keep telling Godi need halo and ask forgiveness yet turn around doing it again. Knowing she doesn’t care about a close physical sexual relationship has destroyed my self esteem and I turn go to porn and master nation, then feeling like a great failure to God, her, and myself. We just had our 20th Ann but the first thing was she said was she didn’t care about sex so it destroyed my manliness and ability to do it. I can’t talk to her about it as we spoke a little with a Christian counseler but didn’t effect her thoughts at all. I want to do the block on the computer but I have to pay for it and she would ask where this money goes to. If she found out anything it would destroy her trust and love towards me. If she had any idea I was talking about this on here it would also gestroy it. She doesn’t believe this is so important to a man, if I spend any money on books she would know. We have been hurting so much financuallly since I’ve had the cancer and seizures 3 yrs ago and am struggling to get work for me to do. I’m 54 and still need the desire of sex. Please pray and somehow help.
Hello, Richard – I’m sorry to hear about your situation, which sounds like it has difficulties at every turn. I see multiple paths that you can choose from. Each considers the fact that your wife doesn’t want to talk about it and isn’t open to making changes.
1. Continue looking at porn and keep it a secret.
2. Try to stop looking at porn alone (but eventually it will fail)
3. Try to stop looking at porn with help.
We both know that #3 is the only one that will work. Can you do it under the guise of “since we struggle when it comes to intimacy, I want to make sure I have a place to share my thoughts and be surrounded by guys who can help me be strong”? None of this helps the fact that your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you. Here’s a few tough questions – do you believe having sex is necessary to survive? What does true obedience look like for you? Are you as committed to glorifying God with your life as you are finding answers to improving intimacy in your marriage? See, most men believe the idea that we require sex to survive. What if this isn’t true? Can sex save us? Absolutely not. I know these are hard concepts to live out. And, that’s why it can’t be done alone.
I will close by praying for you, Richard. If you decide to choose a life of purity and integrity, I suspect the days will get harder before they get easier. But, God is for you! You are more than a conqueror. Please read Romans 8 to be reminded of who God is and who you are when Christ is IN you.
Peace, Chris
PLS i want your prayer over my life to stop the habbit of masturbation
How can Luke say masturbation is not condoned or condemned? it is aka uncleanness and lust or flesh pleasing certainly is condemned!
Hello, Franco – I think what Luke is saying is that based on Scripture, there are no direct references that condone or condemn the practice. There are principles of holiness and righteousness that would seem to strongly indicate that it is not a path to either of these goals of Christian living.
my name is JM am 19 years but i thick am addicted to masterbation but how can get out of it because am tired of it please help
Hi, JB – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. Have you attempted the techniques included in this blog post?
Thanks a lot,
I believe that I will be out of this soon
I know God is there for me, thats why am quiting this
I now block my mind from masturbation desire in Jesus name
Amen😇😇
I need help in this area. I’m struggling. Prayers please!
This is a very good start to thinking about how we deal with masturbation. In my own observations, I see two things that cause me to masturbate: the escape and the desire. I literally can make the day go so much faster focusing on sex and women than when I just focus on what I have to do or want to do. However, I think we all need to see that the source of all this is evil. We are contending against evil powers that are literally drawing us away from God and our potential. That’s what’s really going on. Look at David. Saw a naked woman, invited her over for sex, and then had her husband killed. Again, this took away from David’s potential. What happened next was him trying to cover it up, him trying to fix it, and him having to live with the consequences. Solomon was born as a result and God gave him his wisdom but again, look what happened to him. Later in life, he had tons of wives, and many worshiped other gods and he joined them. And he had the wisdom of God!!! Let’s face it, lust is from the devil and it is his way of destroying us. You need to look at it that way. You need to realize when the desire comes inside of you it’s satan tempting you and trying to take you away from God and God’s potential for your life. This is spiritual more than physical! The Bible talks about satan prowling around looking for who he will devour. Don’t let him anymore and remind yourself it’s not the beautiful naked woman calling you, it’s satan himself trying to lure you away from what God has in store for you. We are not alone. To me, this is man’s greatest weakness since the beginning of time and it’s harder than ever to get away from it because we can see naked women whenever we want.
We all need to have a plan. That’s right. When there’s a fire, you need an escape plan. A way out. So the question is, what are you going to do when you smell smoke and hear the alarm going off that you want to masturbate? You need a plan. Like for me. I’ve decided everytime I feel the urge to masturbate I’m going exercise or leave the house if it’s in the evening or weekend. Get away from the situation. Also, there is free software for you computer called K9 protection. http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ Put it on your computer make a password that’s hard to remember. Write it down simply for the purposes to create the account. Then delete the email you used and burn the password. Sounds drastic, I know but that way you can’t ever take it off your computer. That will help but you still have to have a plan.
Guys, if you’re married and you’ve been doing this, you need to tell your wives everything. I realize many of you are dealing with sexless marriages but this is not the answer. I would suggest doing this with a counselor present as there will need to be help communicating and figuring out how to deal with the after effects of what’s happened. If you’re keeping secrets, you’re killing intimacy with your wife. If you have very little intimacy then you can count on not having very much sex. The only way to get it back is for both of you to be honest. It will hurt, it won’t be easy, it will take time to heal but it will be worth it. Both of you need to agree that divorce is not an option and that repairing what’s broken and filling what’s missing are the only solutions.
You are not alone!!! Over 90% of men have viewed porn and my guess is they masturbated too. You must forgive yourself as God continues to forgive you. I challenge all of you to talk about this with your male friends. Supporting one another and being able to talk to someone who knows how you feel is so important. Now, if your friend sees no issue with it then you need to distance yourself from them. They will only enable you to do it in the future. So find someone who is a follower of Christ and chances are you will both be able to help one another.
Never give up! It’s easy to get discouraged if you slip up and return to this habit. Let’s face it, sexual desire is a natural feeling. But we need to harness it and direct it all toward a loving, committed relationship and share all that we have with that person. Sex and desire were meant for two, not one. Use it the right way. When you only desire your wife and put all your energy into pleasing her, your relationship will grow and grow. When we do it God’s way, we get the fruit that comes with that; a loving, fulfilling, lasting, healthy, intimate marriage. For those of you who are single, think of your abstinence as training. Your training yourself to be a husband. So when you have the desire, use the escape plan, but also think about your future wife and great it will be when you get to share yourself with her and how special she will feel knowing you’ve been waiting for her.
It’s crazy, stupid, ridiculous that we have to deal with this, I know. I get sick of waiting too. I just want to be married and have sex all the time. For whatever reason, God has other plans and as Jesus said, seek first the kingdom of God and all the rest will be given to you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord look upon you with favor and give you His Peace. Amen! I love you, brothers and I’m fighting with you!
I feel like I would need to have my legs and arms gone in order to stop this addiction. It’s harder for me than others to stop. I’m wheelchair bound and unable to run (or work) this sexual tension off. I have so much desire for a spouse/relationship and get so easily triggered by the littlest things about women. I fall into traps like reading sexual things, or viewing immoral pictures every so often, but I keep striving to improve. How do I so easily lose my self control? I feel all nice and clean after confessing to my Bishop then I just go screw things up and feel like a pile of garbage. Please if I could get any prayers I’d be so grateful. Farewell and wish me luck in this journey of mortality.
What a horrible article. You admit that the Bible doesn’t condemn masturbstion, yet in your self-righteous Phariseeism, you condemn what the Bible does not! Shaming people for a normal, healthy activity is spiritual violence. According to Barna Research Group, over 31 million people have left our churches, many of them due to such unfounded moralistic rules. We must quit inducing guilt and teach people to love. My heart goes out to these people who are expected to hate their own God-given bodies in the name of God!
I used everything expect medication but nothing progress happens …and after week it again start ..die to this I m not completely focused on my study and I goes in depression
.so plz if u have any solution about it then plz informe me .I would very thankful to you.
I thought I had Kicked the habit but the habit came back. Not good need strategy
Thanks so much for reaching out. Have you tried our 40 day challenge? https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/4165-overcome-porn-the-40-day-challenge
Thank you forgiving me hope l m struggling please pray for me l m jamson
I really want to stop masturbating but the kind of images and desires I figured in my mind triggers my urge to masturbate. sometimes I kinda think that sex is the only way I can get out of this I hope that God forgive me my sins and help me get out of this I don’t like it anymore.
Looks like I’m 4 years to late to respond everybody’s year is 2016? This is 2020 hope this site is still open but yes It’s a struggle for me. I can go a couple or weeks read scriptures it will just come over me the feeling I dont read magazines for it I dont watch porn I just visualize in my mind. I want help to stop I dont want to go to hell for any sexual sins.
Melissa,
Thank you for reaching out. Have you told anyone else about this struggle? I have found that when I am struggling, keeping it to myself only makes things worse. That being said, I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust and share your struggles with them! Ask them to pray for you and check in regularly to see how you are doing. Accountability is one of the greatest tools in recovery.
Ultimately, continue praying and reading Scripture! We serve an amazing God.
Blessings,
Moriah
What you saying is true….well its my first time seeing this article and it seems helpful let me meditate Upon This Infor
Hope you will help me stop being a slave of this THING
Hi Hercky,
Being free from porn IS possible! Do you have a friend, mentor, or church leader whom you can reach out to and ask for accountability? For many, having another person to walk alongside you makes all the difference. I also want to encourage you to dive into prayer and Scripture and ask God to give you the strength. REmoving triggers and temptations from your life WILL help, but a change of heart is essential to finding freedom from porn.
Blessings!
Moriah
It’s really true but my problem now is I can’t resist from porn videos
With God i can doooooo it
starting from tpdaaaaay