If you find evidence that your child has been looking at pornography online, is any sort of punishment in order? Should there be consequences? I recently asked Dr. Dave Currie this question.
You can learn more about Dr. Currie’s ministry at DoingFamilyRight.com.
Please never punish a child for viewing porn! Children are always going to be curious about sex, maybe they need to be better informed about these matters at school?
In my humble opinion it would make far more sense to have a discussion with the child which is age and intellect appropriate. If blamed for something traumatising like porn or sexual abuse etc. it can have adverse consequences for that individuals long-term mental health. Also, as adults can become addicted it is unreasonable to punish a child for viewing porn.
I’m in my 40s and as a youngster many of my male peers undoubtedly had access to porn magazines and videos. Nowadays there is so much porn and it’s frequently free online or there are the ‘teasers’ to entice pay per view/memberships. We cannot blame children for being enticed into to the clever marketing techniques and hidden persuaders of a powerful and highly commercialised porn industry – even adults fall prey to this and children are the next generation of consumers and undoubtedly targeted by this industry too.
Even if parents take steps to prevent their children accessing porn, they cannot be certain that exposure won’t occur outside of the family home.
I am extremely concerned about the pornification of society and its impact on children and young people. I’m hoping to undertake doctoral studies with regard to porn and female body image issues in the near future.
I agree with Dr. Dave Currie as a beginning of what to do. However, I think it the most important part is that because the child is hiding his looking at porn it is a clear indication that the child, in his heart knows it is wrong. This gives the perfect opening for a parent to educate the child about true sexuality, the real Godly purpose of love, sex, intimacy, and the brain chemistry that is going on, the lies that we learn in society about sex etc, etc. Now is the time to learn how to treat women.
Just stopping the behavior with discipline is not the answer. Temptation without education or complete understanding of this battle, the true battle of their lives will typically lead to failure in the battle for purity. Teenage years is the prime time to know the full truth, not try to reverse years or decades of going down the wrong path, then try to turn it all around. A million times easier to stop it now then after the neuro pathways have been plowed deeply and the sin and guilt owns you.
I successfully stopped the proverbial train after 40 years going on the wrong tracks and destroying countless lives including my families. It’s a battle no one should have to endure. It’s our duty as parents to educate ourselves properly then pass it on. And most importantly, if God is not in the center with us in battle, we and our children will fail.