My first exposure to pornography happened when I was six years old. It happened on the playground. I can still remember the image to this day. That image hijacked my naïve six-year-old mind and was the impetus that gradually shaped a life of addiction, isolation, and duplicity.
Seasons of sobriety were outweighed by seasons of a more progressive form of porn addiction, and with it increased isolation and duplicity. Being a pastor’s kid didn’t help my situation either. Too ashamed to talk about my struggles with anyone, especially my dad, I was left alone to fight my battles. I felt completely isolated.
The Downward Spiral of Porn
This struggle continued all through my childhood and into my adulthood. In fact, this secret addiction eventually spilled over into my marriage. My wife had caught me looking at porn on several occasions. Fearful of what she would do, I promised that I would never look at porn again, only to be overcome with my craving for harder and grosser forms of pornography.
Five years into our marriage, images on a screen no longer satisfied me. Succumbing to my lust, I eventually sought out another woman. I contacted a lady selling her “services” on Craigslist and with $100 fulfilled the porn fantasies that brewed in my mind for decades.
Years of shame and years of struggling alone, with no one to talk to, finally became too overwhelming. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life and had, at last, recognized my depravity. I needed help.
It was in this very pain and spiritual decadence that God met me. His truth, mercy and grace, along with the love of my family (especially from my wife) became the very thing God used to restore my marriage and purity, ultimately setting me, and my family, on a path to see others set free from porn and its devastating effects. As a result, Porn Scar was created.
Porn Scar: Setting Men and Women Free
Porn Scar’s main mission is:
- To awaken the Church about the ‘pornification’ of the society it’s called to restore.
- To educate the public about the harms of porn and its culture.
- To encourage and equip people to “Get Free, Stay Free and Free Others.”
One of the main ways we act out our mission is through conversation. When someone talks about how porn affected them God uses it to bring genuine freedom to others. One person’s victory has the potential to become another’s victory. Porn Scar believes that through honest and vulnerable conversation with others we create a safe environment for our listeners to come into God’s light for themselves. We believe that letting people in our own lives, through candid and vulnerable conversation, is a critical key that unlocks others to open up and receive God’s truth that sets them on the path of freedom.
Married to his wife Heather for 9 years and father of 5 children, Richie Cruz has a passion to see individuals and even entire cities be freed from pornography and its effects. He founded his organization Porn Scar with its mission to educate the public about the harms of pornography and equip individuals with solutions that help them “Get Free, Stay Free, and Free Others.” Richie believes that “every scar has a story” and that freedom can come to others by sharing them.
I don’t know where to start. My addiction to porn has been there since I was a little kid. Going on for decades. I just want this to stop now. Figuring out a way to just be away from it. Even if I try to stop it comes back. Now I feel that this needs to go away.
Hello, Frank – I’m so sorry that you’ve been struggling for so long. And, it sounds like you’ve done it in secret, alone. We never win those secret battles. Here are some practical things that might help, since I’m not sure what you’ve tried in the past (probably a lit of things): https://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/04/23/how-to-quit-porn-6-essential-steps/
Peace to you, Chris
Thank you for your honesty, which has now become a way of life for you. For me, my porn addiction went high speed as soon as the internet did. Suddenly I had access to anything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I completely gave in to the addiction, and tried as well as I could to not feel bad about myself. My mood swings were terrible, and I was an emotional wreck. I went into sudden rages, which eventually cost me my job! The day I got fired was the worst day of my life but also the best because it was the turning point where I finally got honest and sought help.
Hi, Mr. Cruz, this very powerful. I have been battling porn for all my life. I believe it’s my biggest concern today. I never wanted to be in this type of situation. Even when I was fully sold out for God, porn was and still my enemy. I am now back with God, and doing more to get rid of this issue with the help of Almighty God. I need the testimony, and help in a mighty way. Been telling you this I am asking for God and you to pray for my strength to stand.
Thank you for sharing your story. Pornography has been apart of my life for 7 years now and I’m tired of being in this prison. I’m still trying to find a way out
Hi, i don’t remember how it all started, i just know that it got too much for me now, i don’t want to stay attached to porn, but o could at most last 3 days without it with much effort, every time i start over i get tempted numerous times until i finally end up giving in on the night of the third day.
Awesome thank you for sharing that. And yes I blocked Youtube too. And please pray on my quest for sobriety! And God can and wants to free us. Let’s turn to Him in it.
Thank you very much for your testimony!
Hi, for Mr it started when I was 10 or 11 my neighbour who was a couple of years older than me out of the blue gave me a couple of porn mags and here I am 52 trying to fight this lust. Thanks for putting this stuff together, don’t know if I’ll win this time but I’m determined to keep trying
Sir, please keep on trying.
Pay no attention what tomorrow will bring. Focus on today. Everyday!
It’s kinda like tightroping, don’t be distracted by surroundings, focus on every step, at once!
Let’s fight!
Hey Mick God bless you, brother I hope your fight against list is prevailing. At the moment I’m facing my own battle against lust as well. We all are in this together, and by Gods grace we will prevail if we hang onto God and submit ourselves into the fathers caring and loving hands. Because in him we are conquerors and can defeat lust, with the grace and power Gods already given us. Be blessed brother, your a conqueror and child of God! Gods got you!
Romans 8:31-39
“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:31-39 KJV
http://bible.com/1/rom.8.31-39.kjv
1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind and God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Brother Mick. If you have the Bible App by You Version, please check out the devotional plan ‘Overcoming Porn’. It’s a 40 day plan, but it is well worth it. I just started about a week ago and it’s absolutely great so far. It offers great, practical ways to help us fight this addiction.
Love you, brother! God Bless!
Hi Mick! We the sons of God are in this together. God is our hope, he never wants us to give up, no matter how many times, even if you gave up just now. Please have an accountability partner and download covenanteyes software, where that person can monitor you. For me it is my wife who does it, probably for many this might be not a wise choice, but choose your partner no matter what, it can also be another person who is struggling a lot. God is with us, be with you. In Christ alone, Isaac
I understand , I’m 45 years old found porn mags when I was in first grade and always found ways to get more ( swimsuit mags , Victoria secrets , etc ) and been into it very heavily last 20 years , internet hasn’t helped at all , tried to quit many times before , maybe I’d quit for a few days or even a week , today’s it’s my new record 8 days , I feel I’m ready and this program is really helping , need accountability partners to help , alone it wasn’t working , we all want to do the right thing it’s just hard , find a friend ( which is hard to discuss this subject with friends ) but it helps , acountabilty accountability we can all do this , Mick I hope you are doing well , old dogs can learn new things , love all of ya
An important step after recognizing the addiction is to keep trying to overcome it. You show bravery. You may or may not overcome this addiction (my hope is you will) but much can be said for your courage to try.
I am sorry about addiction Mick, I hope you get through this, always remember we are in this together.
Stopping Porn is not just like saying “I am never going to watch porn”, because watching porn is an everyday choice so everyday it is better to say “I am not going to watch porn today”.
Don’t worry about tomorrow we are not there yet. When you feel you are getting triggered to watch porn shout The Name “JESUS” out loud because in the BIBLE that call upon The Name Of THE LORD and be saved (Romans 10:13)
Thank you Mr. Cruz. I too have had a lifelong battle with porn, starting much like yours (mine was a discarded Penthouse at a construction site). My time in the military made my problem much worse, as porn was almost encouraged. Looking back, I feel like that first experience was pure poison for a 10 year old mind, as before that I had never given sex much thought (too busy skateboarding!) Anyway, thank you and the rest of the contributors for encouraging me to heal.
1 day at a time. It’s about making decision. Remember you make a choice. U can do it.
Thanks Mike
I blocked Vimeo.com because it has too much erotic content
It’s funny because I blocked YouTube and can only watch certain offerings on Vimeo.
Thank you for sharing I also am addicted to porn this will help me get free from porn God bless