At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might sound like an odd question. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?”
For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the internal dynamics that drive it, the question sounds irrelevant.
But for those for whom lust is their primary concern when it comes to masturbation, the question is of immense importance.
Is it always lusting to masturbate?
Christians disagree on what the Bible says about masturbation. Some Christians point to Genesis 38:9-10, where Onan sins by “spilling his seed” (i.e. masturbating), to avoid conceiving a child as God commanded. It’s reasonable to conclude from this that God disproves of masturbation, at least in some circumstances. However, this passage alone does not give enough detail to conclude that masturbation itself is wrong or why.
Why is masturbation sinful?
Jesus said that the things that come from the heart defile a person (Matthew 15:19). So the more important question is this: what is the heart of the matter when it comes to masturbation? What is it about our hearts when we masturbate that does—or doesn’t—make it wrong?
Many Christians have looked to Matthew 5:28 to answer this question. Jesus says, “I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In other words, sexual sin begins with attitudes of the heart, not merely our outward actions. If a person can commit adultery in their thoughts without the physical act, then it follows that the real sin of masturbation is something deeper than the physical act.
Masturbation is sinful because it involves lust.
So is it sinful to masturbate without porn?
The Bible is clear that watching pornography is a sin. But many wonder whether it’s still sinful to masturbate if you don’t use porn. Some still struggle with masturbation long after they leave porn behind.
But is it really sinful if you’re not looking lustfully at pornography?
It’s important to remember that Jesus’s teaching about lust goes beyond explicit porn. “Adultery in the heart” could be any kind of sexual impurity. So then, just because you aren’t watching porn doesn’t mean that you aren’t lusting when you masturbate.
What the Bible makes clear about masturbation.
Though we haven’t yet answered the specific question of whether masturbation is sinful, we can already see some clear biblical teachings:
- Scripture teaches at least some masturbation is wrong. Romans 14:23 adds that anything that isn’t of faith is sin. That means that even if masturbation itself isn’t sinful, it’s sinful to masturbate if you believe it’s wrong and do it anyway.
- Furthermore, the Bible teaches that when God saves us from our sin, he transforms and changes our hearts and behaviors—including our sexual habits like masturbation (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
- Followers of Jesus should seek to submit themselves to his commands and obey him no matter what the cost. That means we should be willing to give up masturbation if we feel convicted.
3 Types of People and How They Masturbate
In his book Sex, Men, and God, Doug Weiss says there are three types of men in the world (and, I assume, this goes for women, too):
1. Those who have never masturbated (Type A)
Weiss believes this group of men is the smallest camp of men in the Western world. After years of speaking at men’s conferences, he’s only met 14 men who claim to have never masturbated.
In other cultures, Weiss adds, masturbation simply isn’t a cultural norm and is relatively uncommon.
2. Those who do not fantasize or lust during masturbation (Type B)
This type of person stays “connected” to himself during masturbation—they don’t escape into fantasy. For this person, the act is merely performing a bodily function. As such, there is little emotion attached to the experience, and typically no sense of guilt or shame.
3. Those who lust during masturbation (Type C)
These folks are “disconnected” during the act of masturbation; their focus is on a mental image, an actual image, or an object.
Why does it matter if there are different types of masturbation?
In his book, Weiss asks what happens when a Type B masturbator grows up and becomes a pastor, Christian counselor, or Bible teacher. If he universalizes his own experience, this person is likely to think there is nothing wrong with masturbation at all. If Type C people listen to a teacher like this, they either become very confused, or they are encouraged to believe that their lifestyle of fantasy-filled masturbation is okay.
Similarly, if a Type C masturbator becomes a spiritual leader, they will be likely to say that all masturbation is sinful. Type B people are likely to hear this and either get defensive or start feeling a sense of false guilt and shame.
So, is some masturbation OK?
In one sense, because Type B masturbation involves no lust, it would be easy to assume it involves no sin. This is true. But there is another critical question to ask.
What habits are you creating by repeated Type B masturbation? Many feel that the urge to masturbate is out of control. Are you becoming mastered by this habit (see 1 Corinthians 6:12)? If so, you might be reinforcing a false belief that your body is simply your own.
Your body is for the Lord (6:13)—and your wife or your husband if you are married. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (6:19b-20).
More Questions About Masturbation and Lust
Can you change how you masturbate?
Weiss says, in his 20+ years of professional experience counseling men around issues of sexual sin, Type C masturbators rarely ever become Type B masturbators. He welcomes people to attempt the change, but warns, “Be careful not to deceive yourself.”
Can you masturbate without sinning if you are married?
Weiss also reminds married people that when they take a vow of marriage, their sexuality becomes intimately tied to another person. He reminds men of the solemn command of 1 Corinthians 7:4, “The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Regardless of your motive for masturbation, your wife has authority over your sexuality. “God is the first, your wife is the second and you are the third owner of your penis,” writes Weiss.
For Weiss, the issue of married people masturbating is about honesty. Does your spouse know you do it and do they approve? He writes (addressing husbands specifically):
“If you can’t be honest with your wife about your total sexual expression, then you probably need to evaluate the reason for your ongoing lies to your wife.” If you don’t talk to your wife about it, why? Are you still holding on to the belief that your sexuality is “me-sex” vs. “we-sex”?
What if your spouse is the one you fantasize about?
Even if after full disclosure, your spouse approves of you masturbating, is it wrong to “lust” after images of your wife or husband?
Here Weiss offers some sage advice: Does the person of your fantasies match the person you are married to? Do you change aspects of your fantasy wife or husband that don’t match reality? Does they act sexually different in your fantasies? Does they look different?
If so, you are reinforcing a chemical process in your brain to be turned on by a fantasy, and this will only frustrate you when the real person doesn’t measure up.
I would add to this: Masturbating to fantasies of your wife (or husband), while preferable to other images, also trains your body and mind to be more me-centered in your sexuality. Even if your wife approves of your behavior, you should ask whether this activity really helps to move you more towards the image of Christ, who emptied himself and sacrificed all for the love of His bride, the church.
We could talk about exceptions to the norm, of course—prolonged illness or geographical distance between couples. But we also shouldn’t let the conversation about so-called “exceptions” (even if we think they are legitimate) make us overlook the biblical principles that should inform our attitudes.
Ideally, fantasizing about your spouse—a good thing—should be something that propels you towards intimacy, to where sex can be a consummation of love and self-giving.
What do you think? Can you masturbate without lusting? If so, does it matter?
Covenant Eyes, this is wrong and very disappointing to see on your site. CCC 2352. “masturbation is anintrinsically and gravely disordered action.” It’s not okay, and this article basically gives the green light. This article is leading so many into sin! 😥
Hi, Sara – across the Christian spectrum, there are going to be places where certain denominations differ. Covenant Eyes has not taken a stand on masturbation, and instead, have allowed different posts to present different perspectives and let our readers make their own decisions. We recognize that the Catholic Church calls out masturbation as a mortal sin. We have not. Other Christian denominations do not. In the same way that we have included posts celebrating certain Saints of the Catholic Church, yet some of our readers take grave exception to the veneration of saints. But, we can all agree that life without porn is better! Let’s focus there.
Best, Chris
How can masturbation not be a sin? All the info I keep getting from this whole website about this issue is that it’s generally better not to, but certain circumstances allow it as not a sin. I’m confused why you wouldn’t call the whole thing out as a sin, since it doesn’t seem to be a part of God’s design for sex. What about Onan in Genesis 37? Couldn’t masturbation be idolatry? Do you even have a direct answer if it is a sin or not? Just wondering, since it seems like if your answer were “no, it’s not a sin under certain circumstances” people would use your argument as an excuse to do it.
Hi, Brandon – what is your stance? If I call it a sin (not representing Covenant Eyes) does that influence your decision? Our position has been to allow individuals to find their answer. Drawing a legal line doesn’t address the heart issue of WHY people masturbate. Behavior alone isn’t what God is looking for. “These people honor me with their lips, but thier hearts are far from me.” I would personally aruge that Onan’s sin was one of disobedience and not one of withdrawal and masturbation. So, back to how I started – what do you think and why?
My personal stance – due to my past of linking masturbation with porn consumption, I’ve determined that it is sinful for me. No question. It represents too many wicked things for me.
Peace, Chris
Is masturbation okay ? I think yes if you dont think of a person or watch any pictures while doing it. You cant convince me that its a sin to enjoy the natural mechanisms that God gave you, even if not enjoying them from time to time leads you to become insane. I didnt masturbate for 2 and a half month and had to dream every night of kids, men, women, name it! In my dream I dreamed the unbelievable, what I even didnt have desires for. If you tell me I cant masturbate anymore, then I am forced to cut my testicules off. Dont put so heavy burdens on other people. This is just stupid and devilish. Imagine when you have been 14 and how every stupid fantasy turned you on, I remember that I was tuned on by the teletubies in that age. We are not Jesus Christ to fight sexuality. Masturbate in the shower without any lusty imaginations and forget about it for some days, easy. Mary was 14 when bringing Jesus to this world, so in Gods opinion i guess most of young people these days would be married when reaching puberty. Todays christians cant marry and live their sexuality in an good manner. Do it if it annoys you , better at morning, so you can pray to God at night. You know.. semen and prayer dont go together. Sry for my english im german.
Thank you so much for advising those who were lost what i just hope is that all those who have been doing this stopped it because God himself said that yourbody is the temple of the Lord how then would Jesus feel when he sees his own people whom he created with his own image creating this sin he would be ashamed .To all those who have listened to the advice which they were given May God Forgive You all of your sins and make a way for you.
From Genesis chapter 38:
Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. And what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.
Does this mean wasting your seed is still sinful to this day? After all times are different and we no longer have the task of repopulating the earth. This passage always confused me.. any thoughts?
Hello, Logan – I’m open to other opinions, but I always thought that this passage was more about a lack of obedience (in the heart) than it was about the act of spilling his semen on the ground (outward behavior). This isn’t in any way a means of justifying masturbation (that’s a whole different subject!), but just my thoughts.
Peace, Chris
Covenant Eyes
My pastor says that Onan’s sin was wanting the inheritance for himself.
Yeah, it’s funny how so many sins get turned into sexual sins… look up what the Bible says is the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah sometime for a real light bulb moment… it’s like we’re obsessed with sex or something :) Thanks for the insight!
My girlfriend and i have been dating for 7 years and are in the mindset of getting married at the right time. We at times think of each other as husband and wife and masturbate seperately. Is that bad ? Please help. Thanks
Hi, Joshua – I tend to come at this from the point-of-view that as soon as you ask, “is that bad?” you’re pretty sure it’s not holy and God-honoring, and you’re teetering on looking for justification. You don’t need to answer me on the blog, but do you agree with this? Masturbation is just such a steep slope. It’s tough, tough, tough to keep yourself within a prescribed boundary of “we only masturbate when ___________.” (in this case, “while we’re not married”). What happens if sex isn’t possible when you’re married as often as you would like? Will you be tempted to masturbate then? And, since the anticipation of being married and having sex one day has completely worn off, and you’re not able to self-stimulate without help, will you be tempted to turn to porn in order to masturbate? I hope you don’t take any of this as judging – I’m just trying to lead you down the path to its possible end. I know, because I’ve been there. Once the seed is planted in my male brain that “whenever I have a sexual urge that can’t be satisfied by my girlfriend/spouse, then I’ll masturbate,” it’s just REALLY tough to turn that off.
I’m sharing from the male perspective. There are many similarities to the female masturbation struggle, and your girlfriend should also be very careful.
Sit down and talk this all through with her. These types of conversations aren’t always easy, but neither is marriage, so it’s good practice :)
Peace, Chris
Chris. I realize it ask the additional questions such as ” Are you mastered by it? While I realize the legitimacy of such questions, I see them as designed to avoid a direct answer to the question is type B sinful. At most all the article says is ” It can be sinful” but my question is this ” Is it necessarily sinful?” Is it possible for it to not be sinful?”
Hi, Ryan – I have to leave the answer to you, but let me give you this. If the Bible isn’t clear on a specific action as sinful because it’s not included in some list, then there are probably a couple of “tests” we can put it through. The first is the Philippians 4:8-9 test, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Another test is the “legacy” test. Now that I have kids, I think about how my actions can become my kids’ actions. There really shouldn’t be things I do that I wouldn’t want my kids to also do someday. I don’t know if these are helpful, but for me, masturbation fails both of these “tests” and just doesn’t seem like something that a “good and faithful servant” would practice. Does this make it sinful? Probably. But, decide for yourself.
Peace, Chris
There really has not been a direct answer to this question. is type B masturbation necessarily sinful? Can a Christian engage in type B without sinning?
Hi Ryan, I think the blog post does provide some additional questions to consider under the “Is Type B Better?” paragraph. It’s a matter of debate for many. Pray, ponder and tell me what you think.
Peace, Chris
Hi, I am a single girl in my teens and I struggle with masturbation because I’m not sure if what I am doing is a sin or not. I fantasize about what I would do if I did have a husband, but do don’t fantasize about a specific person. Does this count as lusting? Is this a sin? I’ve read the bible and several articles on the topic to see what other Christians have to say, but I have yet to find an answer to this problem. I am very confused about it.
Hey there. Well, your sexuality is a normal, God-given part of who you are. There’s a big myth out there that men have sex drives and women don’t–just not true. I don’t think masturbation is a sin. I think it’s just a normal expression of your sexuality. However, like any normal appetite–think food, for example–our sexuality can become skewed.
If you think of the food example, instead of having a healthy relationship with food, you can become obsessed about it and either restrict yourself totally (anorexia) or binge completely and constantly.
Sex is the same. If you don’t accept sex as a healthy, normal part of yourself, you’ll fall into one of those two obsessive ends of the spectrum: total restriction or complete indulgence.
In counseling, we always use “functioning” as a way of checking for whether an issue is a treatable concern or not. “How are you functioning?” is the question. Are you able to go about the normal tasks of life without the issue interfering? If so, you’re fine. If not, if your functioning is impaired in some way–if relationships are troubled, if you can’t stop thinking about it, if you’re compulsively behaving–then you probably need to get some help.
Does that help at all?
Peace to you, Kay
I’ve battled with porn addiction since my teens and, similarly to Gabe, felt that after getting married the issue would be sorted by a healthy sex life. It didn’t. It was only after hitting an all time low last year that I’ve felt free from this. I still have accountability software on everything, and still meet with an accountability partner, and my wife and I have regular check-ins to see how we both feeling and how things are going in that department. It’s all been pretty positive for the last year.
Until recently. I’ve messed up.
I realise that I’ve always seen the issue in our marriage as being one of lust and deception. My wife is 12 weeks pregnant and has felt tired and sick. Of course her ability to be intimate is significantly reduced and, in fear of slipping into lust, opted for “Type B” masturbation. Twice in the last couple of weeks.
I know she doesn’t like any type of masturbation, but I wasn’t expecting it to go so horribly when I just told her.
At one point, I tried defending myself by saying that I was doing it to relieve pressure from myself (I was in genuine fear of slipping into lust), but I also felt that is was “mechanical or matter of fact”. To which she asked a question that is stumping me – how can it relieve pressure, if it isn’t somehow sexually satisfying? I feel like there is some science behind this that I don’t know. Any ideas?
Hi Dan, when you were slipping down the path of masturbation, did you engage any measures to talk about it (e.g., reach out to your accountability partner)? For the “relief of pressure,” I have been doing a bit of Internet research just now, probably similar to what you’ve done. If it’s just a matter of pressure, you’re probably not going to win the “discomfort” argument with a wonderful wife who is 12 weeks pregnant :) But, could you pray, take some Motrin, go for a run, anything to shift the focus? Man, I’ve been there! Perseverance is not easy. But, it sounds like you have a pretty special marriage, and so I just want to offer encouragement to press on.
Peace, Chris
Covenant Eyes