For some, pornography might seem like a harmless past-time, a not-too-serious guilty pleasure, or an embarrassing habit. You might wonder, why should I stop?
But maybe you’re one of the many who have realized the devastating effects that porn has on your life and relationships. Maybe you feel trapped and like you can’t stop watching porn.
If you’re wondering how to stop looking at porn, you’re not alone. Skim through the hundreds of comments below, and you’ll see. Quitting porn doesn’t have to be complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Read on to learn the best way to stop porn for good.
Step 1: Acknowledge you have a problem.
If you feel like you’ve got porn under control and you can watch a little bit here and there without any problems, then chances are good that you don’t bother trying to quit. In fact, the most popular advice today will tell you that watching a little porn won’t hurt you. If that’s you, I recommend checking out these articles:
Do you have a strong reason to quit?
People who quit watching porn are people who recognized their need to change. For some of us, it takes a life-shaking event, such as getting caught by a spouse. For others, it’s simply the desire for something better than the emptiness of porn.
You’ve got to understand that it’s a long-term commitment and keep your reasons for quitting in front of you. You’ve got to really want it so you can go on to step 2.
Understand the benefits of quitting porn.
Try visualizing your life without porn:
- Would your marriage be better?
- If you’re single, would you feel more confident to pursue a relationship?
- Would you find freedom from guilt and shame?
- Would you free up wasted time to pursue your dreams?
Make a giant list of every possible way you will benefit from quitting porn, and then post your top 1-3 reasons somewhere you’ll see it every day. To help you get started, we wrote a blog post on creating a unique list of how you’ll benefit from living porn-free.
When we turn to porn, it’s not always because we like porn itself. You may even hate pornography. But we want what porn promises: comfort for our loneliness, pleasure for our eyes, sexual fulfillment, etc. Don’t believe the lies. Porn won’t deliver what it promises you.
Step 2: Learn what keeps you trapped.
To quit porn, you need to quit whatever it is that triggers you to watch porn. What are your vulnerable moments? Is it a particular TV show? Is it having your laptop and mobile phone next to your bed? Perhaps it’s having a computer/device without accountability software on it. Ask the following questions (better yet, have a close friend or ally ask you):
- What was I doing?
- What was I thinking?
- How was I feeling?
As you begin to find patterns in your temptation, you’ll need to create a game plan to navigate the vulnerable situations or avoid them altogether.
Understand the roots of your struggle.
There are predictable patterns when it comes to habitual struggles with pornography. When we understand the science and psychology of what’s happening, we can create a better plan for recovery. We have two posts that can help you with this.
Step 3: Open up about your struggle with porn.
Porn plays on the power of secrecy and shame to trap people. We feel shame and embarrassment, which make us fearful of reaching out for the help we need. One of the biggest lies of porn is that you’re better off hiding your struggle than admitting to failure.
Confess your problem to someone.
Maybe you’ve followed the breadcrumbs and learned to recognize some of your triggers. But, you will not be free from your struggle with porn until you open up about it. These articles are filled with tips on sharing your struggle with porn:
- How to Tell Your Parents You’re Struggling with Porn
- How to Confess Your Porn Addiction to Your Spouse
Get counseling or therapy.
Seeking professional help may feel scary or shameful. But speaking to a qualified counselor or sex addiction therapist can change your life. An expert will understand the root causes of porn addiction and help you walk through the steps of recovery.
We’ve written a post to help you find a Christian counselor or therapist.
Step 4: Eliminate triggering media.
If you want to stop watching porn, it makes sense to get rid of your porn. But, you also need to get rid of any other content or media that triggers your porn use or is just unhelpful in your porn recovery journey.
Remember, in Question 2, we talked about identifying your porn triggers. If you identified any media habits that often precede porn use, stop using that type of media—maybe it’s certain music, shows, or social media in general. Just get rid of it. If you want to quit porn, you need to be intentional about all the types of media you consume.
You need to be honest about what’s triggering for you and be sure to put it aside. You may want to involve your ally in the process to help you make tough decisions as well as to keep you on track.
Step 5: Get a porn blocker.
A porn blocker alone won’t be enough to quit porn. But, a porn blocker can play an important role in your porn recovery journey, especially for those early in recovery or those deeply enmeshed in porn. Make it difficult to access porn!
Some people will ask someone to hold on to a tempting smartphone or computer for a time until their porn habit is better under control or other protections are in place. As with Step 4, the key here is being honest with yourself and your allies about where porn is coming into your life and then doing whatever it takes to remove access to it.
Too extreme? Remember Steps 1 and 2: How badly do you want to quit, and how willing are you to try something new to keep making progress on the journey?
Step 6: Ask a friend to hold you accountable.
On a difficult journey, the people alongside you can determine your success or failure. And, if you look back over the previous five steps, you can see that you really need accountability for each one to make it stick. Accountability is the glue that holds your plan together.
Remember Step 1? You often need accountability to remind you of your reasons for quitting porn in the first place. Step 2 is about trying something different, and accountability can show you where you’re falling back into the same old patterns that have kept you trapped in porn for so long. Admitting your failures to someone is step 3, which is a critical part of accountability.
If you attempt steps 4 and 5 on your own (get rid of all porn and block new porn from coming in), it’s easy to leave yourself loopholes. When you ask someone to keep you accountable, you’re asking them to help you lock down the loopholes that have always allowed you to slip back into porn.
Since most people access porn on their computers and smartphones, it’s essential to have an accountability app. Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability monitors your devices for porn and sends your partner a report of what you’re looking at on your devices.
Find an ally to keep you accountable for quitting porn.
A trusted friend or mentor can make a great ally. The resources below share helpful info on finding the right ally for you:
- How to Find an Accountability Partner Who Can Really Help
- STRIVE. This 21-day porn recovery program for men features an online community.
- Arise. Arise is a 21-day video program designed to help women break free from unwanted porn use and find sexual healing.
What does accountability look like in quitting porn?
Having Covenant Eyes removes a lot of the ambiguity in your accountability relationship. When you have it on your devices, it removes the secrecy and helps you live honestly and openly with the people you trust the most. This is vital because secrecy and shame are powerful forces that can drive you back to porn.
It’s not enough to download an app. You need to connect regularly with your ally. Accountability often fails when people only meet sporadically. Many experts advise daily check-ins, and this is especially important in the early stages of quitting porn. (Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability reports go out daily by default). Connecting with your ally could be as simple as replying to a Covenant Eyes report or following up with a text message.
Peace for all, so we are here because of struggling to quit pornography. It is like a loop that you cannot break. First of all, take your religion seriously. These days people left church, mosque, temple, shrine and go to strip club, clubbing, too much alcoholic things with different names, the drugs not to mention some of people always find access to sex worker even in virtual world. How you choose your entertainment will affect your next day and in long term your future. It is good to wear modestly, instead of too many skinny, ripped version of cloth, see-thru cloth. These kinky outfits will affect you, if you do not believe me, it is okay. Dont believe me just watch for consequences. Look inside Bible, al-Quran, Gita, and many other religion books, you can make a big difference. Things will affect you are the media you consume, the food and your cloth. Life comes with manual, Holy Books for every religion is available yet we rarely read it not to mention memorize it. Make yourself busy with work. Get money and start a family instead wasting money towards porn. Porn is business that making good turns bad and bad turns the baddest. Porn doesnt dignify any gender. It is lust and lust is one of great sins. You need to channel your energy towards something legitimate like your wife. We always think it is good to have sex with girlfriends, actually it is not. You need to tie the knot. Sex without commitment is just degrading humanity towards animals. Human should be civilised and knowledge is power, action is strength, struggle is medicine. Do you read enough report about HIV/AIDS among sex workers? Statistic and report are all over the world, you can read or even you can make a research for the benefits of others. Learn your psychology, learn your struggle, learn your spirit. If your family members involve in porn, even just a director or cameraman, do you be like them for money, ignore them, prevent them or support them? Your life is all about decision and motivation plus action. Get your life, see how some senior citizens can make their marriage last long without go to porn or always change their partner. Think about it.
I’ve been addicted since I was 13. This has led me over the years to find new and more dangerous ways to be satisfied… Dating sites, Craigslist, etc. And worst of all I know it’s had to affect my family. I’m now 36. I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready now. I’m ready to get it out of my life.
My Google search of “how do I get porn out of my life” led me here.
Hi, Chris – I’m so sorry that you are struggling but I’m so pleased that you have decided to stop. We’re here to help! Have you tried any of the suggestions from the article? We have found that people who take those steps seriously typically make very positive progress to living porn-free. But, if you try to “slug it out” on your own, experience tells us that it just won’t work. “On your own” is probably a big reason you’re struggling currently. Yes, talking about it openly with someone who will encourage, not judge, and say “hey, there’s a better way!” is so very important. I hope you are able to do that and don’t give up! It might get harder before it gets easier, so be ready for a fight.
Best, Chris
Hey, I am a student who has to prepare for her exams but it is like so weird to admit but I have been feeling really turned on since the past month. Yes, almost like an autoerotic person. Then I went into a disgusting spree of watching porn videos and naked pictures women and found myself being attracted to girls. These activities of mine make me feel like I am the lord of perverts. This feels like a sin. I really want to quit it and study enough. Please help me.
Hello, Alia – what have you tried? Can you remove internet access from your world for a short time? Set up restrictions on your phone? Anything! This doesn’t just “poof” go away – it takes grace-driven effort. Tough, daily choices. But, you can do it! God is for you. Read ths blog post again and take a few steps…..today.
Best, Chris
Am 21 year and I have been struggling with porn and masturbation 5 yrs now.I have had this addiction before I accepted Jesus in my life but this thing keeps poping up ever time and it has really crippled my relationship with God.so much shame and guilt…and the filthy sense that follows after masturbating makes me feel unworthy to pray or ask anything from God…i feel so unworthy even to be among my Christian brothers and sisters at church, I even isolate myself these days.
I had stop the addiction for about six months but not until things went sour at home and I was chased from home for no reason.I felt so depressed and lonely I just wanted affection that I could not get from home
So I went back in into masturbating and ever since my life has been the rosks and I can’t seem to stop
this addiction has been causing me have hiccups in church attendance lately…everyone know as prayerful person and a strong believer…but am fighting a secret and shameful battle against porn.
I know can overcome this addiction but I NEED HELP!!!…
Hi, Nate – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When you read the 6 essential steps in the blog post, what has/hasn’t worked? We believe that victory is possible if you faithfully follow those steps.
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David, igwe miracle is my name I also had the same issue, but until I run to Jesus I never had my freedom, but one thing I have discovered with porn addiction is that it is a battle you keeping fighting so long as you are a Christian once you have been addicted. Jesus have give you victory but you have to fight to retain that victory. Get my book on freedom from the addiction called pornography.
Hi, i am porn addicted. I am 25 and still watch porn. When i look any girl sex thoughts start coming into my mind. I could stop myself only for two to three days watching porn. I am very upset. Can anybody help me?
Hello, Ali, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Have you sincerely tried the steps in this blog post? We believe that if they are carried out consistently and with energy, that you will find redemption. But, you must make a daily effort
i have been masturbating for the past 4-5 years now in the last year till now i’ve been trying to stop or control it but i can’t…..i’ve tried to stop for more than a 100 times but i can’t…i know the effects of masturbation but still i can’t just stop…i can only go myb 3-4 weeks without masturbating sometimes i feel like i can never stop…. i know more than 20 pornstars in my head so if i try to stop for a few days the pics nd vids keeps coming to my head then it triggers me…please any advice you might wanna give me……here’s my e-mail because i really desperately need help thank you.
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. It’s no just a matter of stopping the masturbation, but also replacing the time, energy, with something else. Keep your hands busy with other activities! Read more here: http://biblereasons.com/idle-hands/
Chris
Hi here. I’ve been into porn and masturbation for almost 5 years. I’ve tried all my possible best to break free but it’s just too hard. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s capable of taking me to hell. I’ve searched for help from other Christians close to me but all to no avail. It looks like nobody cares. I need help, I need Jesus. please pray for me
Hi, David – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When you say, “I’ve tried all my possible best,” is that true? Have you cut off access to the internet? Have you begged God for the strength to break free? The cross of Christ is not powerful over sin and death only to be powerless to your porn and masturbation. Do you believe you can break free? If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it won’t happen. Change what you believe and I believe you will change your life – read this blog post. God speed.
Peace, Chris
Hi here. I’ve been into porn and masturbation almost 5 years. I’ve tried all my paint best to break free but it’s just too hard. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s capable of taking me to hell. I’ve searched for help from other Christians close to me but all to no avail. It looks like nobody cares. I need help, I need Jesus. please pray for me
Have a look at Romans 8 again, my friend. Life, death, things present, things future, angels, demons: NOTHING shall be able to separate us from the love of God. If none of those things can do it, then masturbation won’t either.
If you’d like to stop masturbating, shame and anger with yourself will never get you there. Receive God’s love for you–that will certainly help. Find people who are loving and kind, and talk with them about struggles. Connecting with other people in real, true ways helps cure shame and makes us less vulnerable to acting-out behaviors.
Of course there are behavioral steps you can take to make yourself less vulnerable, but good, healthy, honest emotional connection to God and others is the basis for all change and growth.
Peace to you,
Kay
David, igwe miracle is my name I also had the same issue, but until I run to Jesus I never had my freedom, but one thing I have discovered with porn addiction is that it is a battle you keeping fighting so long as you are a Christian once you have been addicted. Jesus have give you victory but you have to fight to retain that victory. Get my book on freedom from the addiction called pornography.
Hi, My name is Abel, and let me tell you my life story about porn and masturbation, First make sure to read this if you help me or learn form my life story,
People see me like hypocrite on these situations and having a good life with my family and don’t want to be disturbed.by the way I have Good social relationship.
And don’t be bored of the long comment because it is my life story and it need to be long.
Let me start and hope you people will help me.
FIRST, on my childhood around the age of 6 the maid make me get in this erotisim I don’t know if he was satisfied by this but it marked the bigining of these problems ,I stared the masturbation by my own like creating it.That time my age was 12,I was matured. These 2 things envolving the awareness I had that time were causes of the problems.
#Let’s_start with the MASTRUBATION.
For 5 years I use this thing still now, the first 2 years I used was with out knowing it even it’s name and consequence,but the left 3 years I know everything because of my friends.some of my friends say it causes you to be barren then they say ” It will consume your 7 day energy for one moment ” and these makes the problem to be reduced around 20%. I am a skeleton boy with a height of 1:88 and weighs 63KG constant,you can calculate the BMI it is unhealthy,I really want to overcome this and then make my body mass index inhansed and having a new life.
#Then with the PORNOGRAPHY.
I don’t remember when I started this but have Harash, Worse, Killing, Odiuos, Sick… I would like to continue but….
I want to stop it because of … You people know it’s Effect, In my country there is not private or home WiFi, we use other place like hotels, offices and so on, because of that we don’t get fast network that enable us to watch online porn videos but instead we download it. I know 2 websites that make me download and watch it home so in order to overcome this I need to block these forever from Google(And if you guys know how to…? Please Reply, it is for both PC and Android) I use both WiFi and cellular data.
I tried to be busy and forget it but I don’t have the habit of busy as a bee, but I found it working the days I get busy, I’ll recommend the author of this site to add this as another option.
#Did you know I have never asked anyone about these problems because I don’t want to be disturbed for ever instead I think it by my own?
But finally i want to expose it only on internet and I If it doesn’t work reveal it to my best reiable friends.
It also make my spirituals die.
If you see my physical you will be shocked.
MY OLD LIFE HAS ALREADY RUINED, INEED TO START A NEW ONE by your support.
PLEASE HELP ME ON THE NAME OF JESUS!!!
And thanks for accepting to read this and helping me.
“FIGHT THE NEW DRUG”
PORNOGRAPHY
IT IS WELL WITH U
which one, u haven’t seen the effect hmm
My dear I was addicted for 5 years I became the chief of porn supplier to my friends back then in school until I encountered Jesus Christ, all you need to do is surrender to him. Also get my book on porn addiction. miracle Igwe