It’s time to address a taboo topic: female masturbation addiction. For quite a while now, masturbation has been a gray area of Christian sexuality. It is fairly “accepted” for men and rarely discussed among women. It gets to sneak around under the name “natural sexual release.” Natural is not a synonym for godly, but for the most part, we are pretty content to leave it alone. We already have enough battles to fight, no need to add another to the list.
But, ladies, this battle is worth our attention. Here are three reasons women addicted to masturbation should kick the habit, as well as a few tips to actually stop masturbating.
3 Reasons Christian Women Should Kick a Masturbation Addiction
Masturbation addiction is selfish sex.
Masturbation is very appropriately termed “self-sex” because it is self-focused. Biologically speaking, sex is the union of two people, not one. Our sex drive is a desire to have that intimate union with another person. Masturbation does not fill that desire. It is our way of saying, “It is my sex drive and I want it appeased when I want it appeased.” Sex is about surrender and giving, not power and taking.
Masturbation addiction does not honor God.
No addiction honors God. As Christians, we are not to be slaves to anything, even our bodies, which we are supposed to regard as the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We are commanded to honor God with our bodies. Even those of you who do not feel you are “addicted,” think about those moments you masturbate. Ask yourself if God is watching you and thinking, “That’s my child; I am so proud right now.”
Masturbation addiction does not honor your husband.
Remember, ladies, sex is about two becoming one. It is not about your husband using you and then you taking care of yourself. Whether you are single or married, masturbation can lay a groundwork for difficulty. You are training your body to respond to certain environments, stimuli, and triggers. These might be environments, stimuli, and triggers your husband either will not be able to recreate or will choose not to recreate (like watching pornography). You have separated yourself from him and, unintentionally, have limited the intimacy you can experience with him.
That being said, fighting this battle is not easy. It would be far easier to believe that this is an OK thing to do and that you will be able to recover from this later. However, sin is sin and habits are habits. The sooner you can get them out of your life, the better.
3 Practical Steps for Women to Stop Masturbating
So, how can you stop masturbating when it has become a compulsive habit? Here are some practical steps to set boundaries to keep yourself from falling.
Think on truth.
More often than not, especially for us ladies, masturbation finds its root in fantasy. Stop that chain at the very beginning by holding tight to the words of Philippians 4:8. One of the things we are told to think or meditate on is truth. Truth is, you are not on some beach island with Casanova. Truth is, you have a life in front of you that needs your attention, and a Savior who has promised to help you through it. You do not need to run from it. When we run, we fall.
Know your weaknesses.
Speaking of the chain of fantasy, know what situations tend to get you into the mindset to either fantasize or masturbate.
For some women, stress is a huge trigger. For others, loneliness is a culprit. Some women don’t necessarily have a trigger, but a certain environment is more conducive to falling. Obviously, pornography or erotica can be a trigger. Sometimes, it is something benign. Even watching G-rated movies may start your mind wandering. Sometimes it is something that can be godly! Know your weakness. You cannot always avoid it, but knowing what it is will help you “pray up” and be on your guard.
The article “The Ultimate Guide to Identifying (and Redirecting) Your Porn Triggers” is full of great tips for helping you pinpoint your specific stumbling blocks.
Do not make it easy.
Romans 13:14 warns us against making provision for sin in our lives, specifically provision for the lust of our flesh. The battle for purity is already difficult enough without making sin convenient. Make masturbation as inconvenient as possible.
I debated putting this in here because I thought it might be too suggestive. Just as I was thinking about it, I got an email from a single young Christian woman struggling with masturbation. She was guessing that a good step in the right direction would be to get rid of her vibrator. Yes, that would be a very good step in the right direction. Get rid of it. I will not speak definitively within marriage, but I believe that sex toys have no place in the life of a single Christian woman. Get rid of them, and while you are getting rid of those, get rid of anything that can be used in place of those. (If I’m talking to you, you know what I am talking about.)
Since the Garden, Satan has capitalized on gray areas, convenience, and human weakness. It is doubtful that Eve would have eaten from that tree if she had a firm belief in the truth of God’s Word. It is also doubtful she would have gone to the trouble if the tree were on the top of Mount Everest. Make masturbation your tree on the top of Mt. Everest, and stand firm on the truths of God’s Word and His desire for purity. Most importantly, though, seek His strength and His wisdom. This is not a battle that can be won overnight, and the journey out can be marked even by physical pain, much like withdrawal. You will need Him every step of the way. The good news is, He promises to be there.
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Hi Jessica, I’m 17 and I want to stop masturbating. I only do it at night and a couple times a week. Its hard for me not too because it sometimes itches there for I itch and start messing around. I also want to know if because I do this if I’m not a virgin? I’ve never had sex, I’ve only masturbated.
Hey there. If you want to stop, then I’d say think about what kinds of triggers you might be experiencing? Is there a particular set-up to the behavior? Things you’re watching or reading? If so, change that part of your routine, so that you create an environment that supports the behaviors you want to have, instead. It’s like if you want to lose weight: the first thing you do is get the junk food out of the house, and get healthy snacks in, right? Think about how you can do that with your regular night time routine. And yes, you are still a virgin. Thanks for asking! You’re really brave! Let me know how it goes, or if you have other questions–Kay
Hi, Aly,
I think Kay really did a great job of summing everything up. Definitely try to think of ways to alter your routine to make things a little more inconvenient. Check out what types of things trigger that for you or what areas can make you more prone to give in. Without being too graphic, if you are having a problem with itching, especially if it is intense or accompanied by strong smells, you should get it checked out by a doctor. If it’s just itching like how your nose itches every now and then, then it’s probably fine, but if it’s a pesky itch like a mosquito bite, then I would get it checked out. But yes, as Kay says, your virginity is not in question here at all.
Praying for you, sister!
Thanks for the post. I have done this crazy thing for over 12years now and I have been married for 6 years to a wonderful man and God has blessed us with two lovely kids. Sadly I’m never satisfied with my husband, although he’s so passionate about our sexual life and tries all he can to satisfy me even though we spend up to 2 hours most times. I just want him done so I can finish up myself and continue when he’s not home most times. I feel so guilty and dirty afterwards, I can hardly face my husband and even kids cos I feel like a failure. Once my husband caught me in the act and hated me for it, he was disappointed that I didn’t all that after all he does in bed with. It took God to mend my marriage after that. He said the act of masturbation is an abomination. I was so ashamed of myself and hated myself . He forgave me, that was 5 years ago and till now he believes that I have overcome. Only me and God know that it’s a secret sin I’m still battling with, it’s even worse than before. It’s very sad cos I have a strong a strong affection for the things of God and I’m very active in my local assembly as a praise leader. It’s affects so much that I don’t want to worship God sometimes, I start questioning God….. where are you? can’t you remove me from this mess?…..the eagerness to stop is what brought me to this sight. I have good news for us all, recently I heard God telling me that He’s with me all the way, it’s a battle and I will win. I heard clearly that anytime I fall into this sin, I should bounce back immediately, ask for forgiveness immediately, worship God more, love my husband more, lay hands on my children and pray for the seal of exemption upon them which will exempt them from this shameful act now and in the future. I shouldn’t allow any atom of guilt around me. And that I should pray in tongues more often. I should deliberately enjoy fellowship with the Holy spirit. As I Continue to do this this, the devil will get tired and leave me. Dear sisters out there, you are not in this battle alone, we are in it together with the Holy spirit, always remember with God all things are possible. We will win. It is well with us. Nothing shall make us miss heaven, not even the foul spirit behind masturbation. The apostle said I find myself doing the things I don’t want to do and the things I should do I them not.. Hmmmm, u see there’s nothing new under the sun…. even d apostles had shortcomings but the Lord saw them through, they never gave up, we won’t, we will keep pressing. Masturbation is a big SIN. It’s sexual pervasion.
Thank you for this post. To the men who are frustrated that this is a trigger for them, I say that I have lived with guilt and fear of being discovered for nearly 40 years, because there was no appropriate place for me to confess and seek help, for fear of causing a male pastor or counselor to stumble. In a church where leadership is predominantly male, or lay-women have no experience of or professional training in these areas, women have to constantly censor themselves in what or with whom they share. Also, the lies that Christian culture has perpetuated about women and their presumed sex drives, or lack thereof, lead many to be incredulous that a woman could ever be tempted to sexual sin.
In the greatest love and respect, I say if this post or the fact that women struggle with this as well as men is an issue for you, then please seek counsel and direction elsewhere. The church community openly acknowledges and provides resources for men dealing with sexual sin, but continues to maintain the lie, by omission, that this is a men’s issue. Outside of ministries like these, women have no resources to seek healing and community, in the way that is provided and approved of for men. I am nearly 41 years old, have tried to seek help on several occasions within the church community, and this is the first time I knew that there was experienced, empathetic help available.
That said, this is my story: I don’t think anyone ever touched me, but I masturbated in my crib, before I knew what sex and desire were, and on through childhood. I found magazines in the bathroom where we were staying when I was 7, and that changed everything – I was fascinated, and couldn’t stop looking or seeking it out. Combined with a relationship with my dad where I felt alienated and rejected, my parents’ belief that there was no such thing as platonic friends between men and women, and my learning of my mom’s coping mechanisms from her own sexual abuse, and I don’t feel like I even had a chance at a healthy view of sex or myself. In spite of that, I believe what Scripture teaches about sex and the marriage relationship, and personal purity, and I want to honor God with my mind and my body.
I have never been married, never had sex, and my last date was in the last century, so pornography and masturbation help me to feel emotionally and physically fulfilled & connected; but only momentarily, and only in a way that I know is a shadow of what God has intended. But He has not yet intended it for me, and I continue to battle my frustration with the church’s ignorance or outright lies about what constitutes a healthy sex drive in a woman, and my own desire to be a chaste, holy, God-honoring, and yet fully physical woman. I believe God created us as sexual beings – physical union seems to be part of our design – so how do I honor & embrace that as a single woman, while remaining chaste, for such a long period of time? I can’t find any resources for that conversation. But thank you for starting this one! I believe tackling this is the first step toward healing, and finding some answers for the rest.
Hi… Well I’m a teen girl 17 ___ and i have been masturbate for 6 years from now… And i am completely regretting every single time i do this… I hate my self.. That’s what masturbations gives to me… I hate how i can’t hold my self back when i’m alone.. And believe me i tried… I tRied.. Tried hard to get over it .but its no use… When i shower or I’m completely alone… I read your article and i’m really thankful for it but you know… I knew all this before… But there is no use…i knew God doesn’t like me to do that i knew it’s a sin… But.. How can i just throw it away? I think of killing my self would help but its more horrible than masturbation’s sin… So please i beg you tell me what to do… And.. Ah for some reasons I’m not hopeful you would see this.. The article is for 2012 n now is 2015… But thats always a little hope…thank you :-)
Hi I’m also a 17 year old girl struggling with many of your problems and I just wanted to say stay strong! You are right that this is a sin but this doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love us! Please never be tempted towards suicide! I find that grounding myself to reality helps really well if I’m ever tempted… For example in the shower or just by myself I’ll sing or talk outloud and this helps me to stop fantasising! Really hope this helps and keep being positive
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for your courage and faithfulness in being a part of this ministry. I really praise God for how He is using your season of singleness to teach and encourage other women to fight for purity, a matter that is, as we believe so close to His own heart.
Firstly I want to say I know something of your struggle with singleness and loneliness. Wondering when your season for being a bride and a wife and a mother will come, whether or not it will come at all, and how to stay content and fully satisfied in Christ through your loneliness and desire for a partner. I battled those thoughts and feelings and by the grace of God spent much of those single years on my knees in prayer, communing with the Lord and just experiencing that perfect joy in the place of worship, but also praying fervently that He would bring me to my season of marriage, that He would ready both me and my future husband for that season and that He would hasten the day of our meeting. God bless your pure struggle my sister and I am praying for you and feel your heart..
Since then I met and married my husband and we are currently expecting our first child.
I realized that as many stories I’ve read and been truly encouraged and empowered by on this website, I’ve yet to come across one which helps me understand how I came to be enslaved in addiction to masturbation and pornography. I don’t know how common my experience and ones like it are, but I would say it definitely is a unique struggle that goes further and deeper than some of the causes to this type of addiction that I’ve read about on this website. So I wanted to share my story although it’s very long, in the hopes that it will help and encourage someone.
I was sexually abused when I was a very young child, so young that I had no idea what had happened to me only that I knew that I had been mistreated, and also that I did not feel safe. I never told my parents about what happened, and I remember always feeling as though I could not trust them to protect me because they hadn’t been there when it happened.
Shortly after, in pre-kindergarten (so when I was probably four years old), I was ‘introduced’ to masturbation by a friend in my pre-Kindy class. She would masturbate during nap time and would instruct me on how to do it. It felt good and having no well developed moral compass at the time, it became a habit. I’m pretty sure I masturbated regularly all throughout my childhood and adolescence without being aware of what I was doing or whether or not it was wrong.
Then there were a number of occasions throughout my high school and early young adulthood where I was molested and raped. I think by the time I was 21 I viewed myself as someone who was just destined to live her life being used, abused, mistreated and unprotected.
In the midst of all that mess, miraculously by grace I met the Lord and surrendered myself and my life to Him and was saved from my sins when I was 22. The Lord gave me eyes to see in the light of His utter holiness my own sin and how despicable it was. It grieved me to the bottom of my soul, how my flesh continually desired pleasure and satisfaction apart from my Creator and Giver of all good things. It was then that I realised for the first time how enslaved I was to my addiction to masturbation. It had become an idol in my life and powerfully contended with my worship and love for God. I knew the Holy Spirit was mercifully speaking through my conscience every time I felt that guilt and shame.
So I spent the remainder of my twenties as a single woman super vigilant about protecting my purity. I was young and zealous and I took strong measures to push temptations out of my life. I became a prayer warrior as I prayed against my fleshly desires and the deceit of the enemy. I spent more and more time in corporate and personal worship and my taste for corrupted, temporary satisfaction slowly diminished as my desire for the real and pure joys of God grew.
I went for years without masturbating or even wanting to do it. Every time I began to feel tempted, I remembered that pit of addiction from which I had been delivered by grace and the freedom that I now walked in. It was enough to make me turn away every time and choose purity. I wish I spent more time reflecting and giving thanks for that season of victory, as the Psalms teach us to do so that I would not have found myself walking back into that pit as I did in recent months.
When my husband and I married, we were faced with a struggle that totally threw us. I knew I was yet to fully heal from the wounds of the sexual abuse, I knew I needed to forgive my abusers and entrust them to the Lord’s vengeance. By grace, the Lord slowly brought me to a place where I was ready to take steps towards forgiveness. But the wounds from the abuse ran deeper than I ever knew they could. Our marriage bed suffered. I realised that while I knew in my head and through my intellect the theology of sex and marriage and believed it, yet in my body and somewhere deep down I still felt that it was an abusive and perverted act that left me feeling dirty, shameful and abused. It was so hard for my husband. I knew I was attributing the sins of my abusers to him every time he desires me sexually, but I did not know how to break out of that mentality. Sex was extremely painful for me as it is for many women at the start but it stayed that way for a long time after we first got married because I simply did not know how to relax and enjoy it. I felt that I was being used for pleasure and that it had nothing to do with love. I felt that I was being abused and coerced into something that I realised I had no desire for. I felt that it left me tainted and dirty instead of joined to my husband in a beautiful and sacred covenantal union.
It was scary because I had always thought that when I got married, sex would be wonderful and perfect, because it would finally be right and holy and good, it would be with a man who truly loved me and treated me with honour and dignity and had no desire to cause me harm. I still cry when I think about how much it hurt my husband to feel that I thought of him as just another abuser. I began to reject his sexual advances no matter how gentle, kind and romantic they were. I accused him of forcing me to have sex when he knew how painful and difficult it was for me. I accused him of being a slave to his sexual drive and for putting his physical needs above my need to heal and feel safe. It was a torturous time for both of us.
At the same time another issue from my past had crept in to wreak havoc in our marriage. My last relationship before I met my husband had ended with my boyfriend at the time cheating on me. This coupled with the abandonment that I had felt from my father my whole life left me with a shattered sense of self-worth which led me to believe that my husband was certain to cheat on me also, even though there honestly was no reason for me to suspect that he would. I began to research reasons why men cheated on their wives and discovered the lack of a fulfilling sexual relationship was the leading reason why men engaged in extra-marital sexual relations. I began to make up stories in my head about my husband cheating on me or having thoughts to cheat on me. I checked his phone and Internet history secretly every day, which yielded no evidence but I still let my imagination go crazy telling myself that if he wanted to hide a secret affair he was more than capable of doing so. Every time we went to our respective workplaces the morning after a fight I convinced myself that he was out sleeping with a prostitute. I had become irrational and delusional in my insecurities. I knew I needed to change.
My mistake in seeking change was that I did not turn to the Lord or to His wisdom and instead turned to the world. I researched ways that I could increase my sexual drive and desire for pleasure and came across hundreds of sources on the Internet that almost unanimously advised me to engage in masturbation and pornography to ‘get in touch with’ my body and my sex organ and to learn what I liked and didn’t like sexually. They instructed me to feed my appetite for sex by fantasizing and drawing up scenarios in my imagination that would activate my desire. There were links to pornography and erotic images which were to be used as resources and tools. Before I knew it I was on a downward spiral but I had convinced myself that I was doing what was necessary to save my marriage.
And that is where I find myself today. I am deeply fearful of how much greater my addiction feels this time round and am reminded of how Jesus taught that evil spirits sometimes return to the home from which they were cast out bringing seven other spirits with them. I fear that somehow the presence of this addiction in my life will affect my unborn child and that he and our subsequent children will also one day find themselves enslaved to sexual sin. I fear that I have no idea how to protect my children from this insidious and destructive sin and can’t help but remember how young I was when it crept into my own life. I fear that even if I can be freed from my addiction once again, that it will one day return with a vengeance when I am least suspecting it, just as it did this time around several years after I believed I was delivered from it.
I have to cling to the Cross and to the hope that my Saviour affords me by the spilling of His blood, by His finished work, that I have committed myself and my body to be a slave only to Christ and to nothing else, that freedom has already been bought for me, that His mercy is new every single morning, that His wrath against my sin was satisfied when Christ was slaughtered at Calvary, that the perfect obedience and holiness of Christ has been imputed to me, that I am now clothed in garments of purity and that I am always accepted and have access to God and that nothing, not even this addiction and all the shame and all the pain that it brings, can snatch me out of His hand. That I will not be free one day in the future, but that I am already free and can walk in that freedom right now.
Thanks for this website and thanks to all of its contributors for being at the frontline of the battlefield. I hope one day I have the courage to fight alongside you for the purity of my brothers and sisters who feel that they can’t fight any more.
Soli Deo Gloria!
I really appreciate this site. I hav bn encouraged. It’s no longer an addiction cos after struggling for many years God delivered me. I’m married now, my husband travels alot , I became lonely n d temptation I was delivered from crept in. TODAY, I hav received d Power to overcome. God bless all d positive contributors to this site.
Thank you for this article and thank you also for explaining to several male readers who struggled through the post, that despite any temptation spurred, this topic needs to be addressed to women in particular. Just as this is so frequently done for “just men” and most women can’t even complain that we suffer too. It was helpful to get insight from someone else who struggled. Have you reached a point where the temptation never even arises any more, or is it still an ongoing battle? I’ve never been into porn in any way due to the fact the industry is built on the degradation and abusive treatment of people, the majority being women. Yet in terms of masturbation built on the idea of fantasy, has certainly been an on going struggle. I came from a physically abusive childhood, and my own father left the family when I was around 10 years old. I suppose in truth, wouldn’t know what a healthy romantic relationship would look like if it slapped me in the head…not only because of my home experiences growing up, but that even to this day as an early 20-something year old, have yet to experience any mutual romantic attachment at all, to anyone. That plus the fact my life and jobs have required a lot of moving, a lot of losing friends, a lot of feeling isolated and alone. Of course I don’t want to make it seem like I’m giving an excuse for my behaviour, but I’m only trying to provide you a backdrop of where I’m coming from.
I suppose it’s still exceedingly difficult to get around the idea that masturbation is entirely selfish, I certainly know it can be but when I leave after a 9 hour shift and come back to an empty house, it hurts. No one to ask who their day was and discuss how mine went of dinner. Make dinner by myself, sit and eat by myself, watch the last bit of sun disappear in the sky by myself. How’s that presentation coming along that’s due the following day? I don’t know…no one to get insight from at home. You could take the bus and meet with someone to discuss it before work, oh but if I do that I need more bus fare for my job and that’s not an option… I start to think about what life would be like if I met someone who actually loved me here on this earth, what God has in store for me in the future. Deep down, all I’ve ever wanted out of life was to be able to express my love to someone unconditional and completely and that they might feel the same way about me. I’ve prayed about the matter more than I can even remember, been prayed for by others in regards to the issue, have fasted before in the past, and have read of the Scripture over and over again. And those things do typically help for maybe that hour, maybe a day, maybe a whole week or if I’m lucky, a month or over but than that loneliness will creep back up and depression seeps in. Sometimes fighting feelings of depression, feeling alone and unloved, is like fighting against the tide.
What makes matters even more excruciating is that the Bible doesn’t really address it in particular. It’s not about sex for me, it’s about marriage. Being able to care for someone inexplicable and have those feelings returned. In the Bible, it’s like oh have lust? Lonely? Get married. The Bible reconized most people will forever have this need to have a partner by them to confide in and share their most intimate feelings. With that being said, the Bibical phrasing nearly pins marriage as the go-to solution. Summarizing, not quoting of course, but it’s like it’s telling you For some people it’s that easy, but when your slightly on the Plain-Jane side and no godly man (nor anyone in general, haha) seems to be in the least bit interested in you in the romantic sense, it makes you wonder… Hmm is something wrong with me; I’m not pretty enough probably, godly men still want a looker; maybe it’s not God’s Will even though I’d like to care for a partner and have children, etc, my mother said she didn’t want me and my father left, why would you think any man would think of you more highly than they did, or maybe God just wants you to be His and no one else’s?… The list of self-worry and doubt goes on and on and on.
I just feel I’ve tried everything and after nearly 10 years of failing God…I don’t want to fail Him any more. Disappointing Him so many times has left me hating myself. At the same time, some small part of me can’t help but think somehow that He’s disappointed me a little bit too. All I wanted was a husband I could help care for and love who would do the same for me; a partner. The same thing GOD seemed to suggest, command even imply most people are conditioned for…but for me? Nope. Nothing but a bunch of empty promises, heartache, pain, self-deprecation and depression. What makes matters sting a bit more now is after all these years of prayers, close friends who used to joke they weren’t even interested in love are now either just happily married, closing on their 5 anniversary or expecting their first child. All the things I’ve ever longed for thrown in my face. I know I’m not the only one going through something like this, but I’ve just moved, new churches, new people. The Christians I know going through something similar are nowhere in meeting radius to me. I just feel trapped. If I didn’t care and felt I was entirely in the right, I wouldn’t be even typing all this now or have gone these years fighting like I have. I want to break the habit. Personally for myself, I know my masturbating is a sin not because my yearning for a husband is wrong or selfish but because its problems stem from both fear and doubt of God’s plans for my life. But after years of no results, sometimes it just feels like empty promises.
Oh, sweet Ami, you have no idea how much your comment resonated with my own life. I’m still single and turn 29… tomorrow, actuallly. Just last night I was having a very similar conversation with a friend. She and I had sat in church together several weeks ago talking about singleness and relationships, and as it always seems to happen, two days later a guy asked her out and she is on cloud 9. I joked with her that this it how it happens. I go out to dinner with a friend and we talk about singleness and next thing I know, she’s married. It is so easy to sit there and wonder, “God, what is wrong with me? Am I invisible?” I think the worst for me is when a guy I like comes to me for help with a girl he likes who doesn’t like him back. I seem to draw those types, and I have no idea why.
So, I definitely get it. I have friends who are done having kids because they already have 5. All of my college roommates have their husbands and families. My closest friends for the most part are all married. My younger brother is getting married in July. And you sit here and think, “If marriage is a good thing, and it honors God, then why isn’t He letting it happen?! What have I done wrong?” And then you stand in front of the mirror nit picking at how you look, how you dress, how you act, how you speak. You find the million and one things wrong with you and beat yourself up. I get it, painfully so.
I really wish I had answers, but I really don’t. Like you, I come home to an empty house, make myself dinner for two- because the leftovers will be lunch the next day. It’s rough, but I think what you are dealing with are a few different things that are stacking on top of you and crushing you a bit. Masturbation is a coping mechanism for you, not a “problem” per se. It is how you are choosing to deal with other problems in your life.
Honestly, if you want to shoot me an e-mail, I would be happy to talk with you more about this. I don’t want it to turn into the world’s longest reply to a comment. But to answer your basic question, this is something I still deal with, and like you said, it’s not always selfish. Shoot me an e-mail. Let’s talk.
Praying for you.
Good article. I too struggle with masturbation . I have been single for almost 5 years but the desire to self please is almost uncontrollable. I know we must rebuke the flesh and plead the blood of Jesus, but I allow the flesh to win. This is a disease to my souI. I want to enjoy pleasure in a marriage with the man of God that is coming to me. I just want stop giving in to lust. Please pray my strength in the Lord.
Well
As a 39 year old single chances to have a partner who is unmarried is slim to none, also it is said that is wrong to date a diorced person so I believe that dating is reserved only for singles. But I am in a critical age. Also most men marry for children and at 40 nobody would want a woman who is sterile. however most of my life was spent on making l.v. e with images in my mind, so i rarely aimed for a marriage relationship. I hd some intimate relationships in the past but i began to deslike the idea of being in a relationship because images of tv actors that are hot and imagination was more powerful than having to spent your sexuality with a husband for the rest of your life. I was always happy with it, went to church and confessed and had communion but this thing was so important to me that i would turn to it, even more because i have no parter. for some of you it is wrong but tell me what about a person who doesn’t attract a man? AND HAVE NO PARTNER and is at an age in which this can happen are slim to none? do you think it’s easy to quit thinking about two actors having sex when you are sleep or have free time, i rarely go out because all my friends that used to go out withme now found their soulmate and most of them are married not easy to find unmarried pals at my age…. going out alone is the only thing i weould do when i’m really fed up to be watching some movies or playing some ps3 games. which i haven’t done lately because i miss going out… the point is, why is life difficult for those who are satisfied with having sex alone? please help, if you want to email me i would be happy to hae a friend that i can email.
Its all right go on chiritsan mingal and find some
Though it hasn’t been clear about masturbation I feel as if it has effected my life style. Almost as if masturbating has become a routine for me and I don’t like feeling as if I need to depend on it. I just hope your steps will help me…
Thank you so much for this piece. How I wish there were a support group for young ladies struggling with this. I’ve struggled with this problem( I don’t like to say the word, makes me feel dirty ) ever since I was ten. I’m sixteen now, and I wonder, can I ever quit totally? Can I get free? It kills me. There’s so much guilt and self-loathing afterwards, and I just can’t understand why I decide to go back again and again when I know I get depressed right after. I want to be CLEAN. I’d very much appreciate it if you had some practical steps to quit. Thank you.
Hyy nicole I cn relate to what you are saying..I’m addicted too bt I’m few days clean incase u need to tlk I’m here.also I need sum1 to talk to