As pointed out by DatingAdvice.com, pornography permeates our society. Porn sets a standard that nobody can live up to. This negatively impacts relationships by convincing people they are owed certain sexual activities regardless of the willingness or welfare of their partner. It also sets up a scenario of disappointment when, not if, the sexual standard porn created is not met.
Pornography does not reflect reality. It’s a counterfeit replacement for real love. It’s no wonder many people are frustrated with dating because they either don’t feel fully desired by their partner or they believe their partner should behave a certain way. For the porn consumer, fantasy is not fiction. Dumping porn before dating is ideal, but many struggle throughout their dating life and even after marriage. Because of this, DatingAdvice.com interviewed Covenant Eyes’ President and CEO Ron DeHaas to find out what tools are available to help those struggling with pornography. (You can read the entire article here.)
Related: When Fantasy Invades Your Marriage
For starters, bringing someone else into your life is critical. We call them an ally. They’re the person who you trust, can be open and honest with, and has your best interest. It can be a sibling, close friend, or spiritual leader. Whoever the person is, they are not a person who stands in judgement of you, but rather helps point you to where you want to be. They’re not looking for perfection, but rather direction. They are the person who makes sure you stay on the right path.
Next, use prevention techniques to keep porn out. Install Covenant Eyes on all of your computer and mobile devices so that if you struggle, your ally will know about it and can help. Covenant Eyes’ Screen Accountability detects inappropriate images and files them into a report that is sent to the user’s ally.
Lastly, develop healthier habits. Porn teaches that you can have endless amounts and varieties of sex. Reality teaches true intimacy requires more than simply clicking on images and videos. Genuine, authentic, quality relationships are built on honesty, trust, and seeking to meet the needs of your partner, not yourself. By taking the time to purge porn from your life, your relationship will improve, and your view will become much clearer.
Related: Why Dump Porn Before You Date
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