What does the Bible say about modesty? Modesty is a controversial topic, especially when you throw God into the mix. Does God really care about what we wear?
Modesty is notoriously challenging to define, as is pornography. See What the Bible Says About Pornography (Without Using That Word). But as Christian morality compels us to leave porn behind, it also compels us to embrace a lifestyle of sexual purity that encompasses the way we dress and conduct ourselves.
First and foremost, a biblical definition of modesty must focus on the heart. Biblical modesty is primarily about our motivations. In addition, modest dress is also about discernment and having an awareness of others and our environment.
Related: 5 Big Questions About Christians and Porn
Why is modesty controversial for Christians?
In a recent conversation, a woman I spoke with seemed deeply offended when I suggested a woman’s manner of dress could tempt a man to lust. She wasn’t denying the claim that men lust after women, but she was emphatic that women are not to blame for a man’s lustful thoughts and actions.
She’s right, of course. A woman is never guilty of another person’s sin. That applies to both men and women who dress immodestly.
Modesty and the Problem of Rape Myths
This woman’s protest is, in part, motivated by a desire to fight various rape myths in our culture. When a girl dresses scantily, goes to a college party, gets drunk, makes out with a dozen guys, and then is raped, for some there is a tendency to say, “Well, she was just asking for it.” This kind of victim-blaming, sadly, leads some to temper any compassion for such women when they are abused.
Let’s be clear: Victims of rape are not guilty of their rape. The girl who walks across campus at 2 a.m. and gets assaulted is not to blame for the crime committed against her.
Modesty and the Problem of Lust
Similarly, victims of another’s lust aren’t guilty of lust. No one gives an account for another person’s sin. If a woman dresses immodestly and a man lusts after her, it is still that man’s fault.
But does this mean modesty itself is a non-issue? It does not follow that one individual’s sin of lust nullifies another individual’s sin of immodesty. Each person is responsible for their own sin.
Modesty and Double-standards for Men
Many have noted that modesty conversations tend to focus exclusively on controlling the way women dress. These discussions usually skim over the question of whether a man should dress modestly. This is wrong. We will see that the Bible teaches that both men and women should behave modestly, in the way they dress and how they conduct themselves.
Amidst these controversies, modesty remains an important issue for Christians in a world driven by lust. Indeed, it is all the more important to accurately define it on God’s terms. So how then do we understand biblical modesty?
What is biblical modesty?
“I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
1 Timothy 2:8-10
Christian women should concern themselves with modesty because the Bible does. Paul writes here about women, but we should recognize that men are equally obligated to embrace modesty. For example, Hebrews 12:28 instructs men and women alike to serve God with “reverence and awe,” and some manuscripts of this text interchange the Greek word for “modesty” instead of “awe,” suggesting that it makes sense to apply this charge to both men and women. With that in mind, let’s look at six key marks of biblical modesty.
1. Modesty is not anti-fashion.
At the outset, we should take note that Paul is not anti-adornment. The force of his statement is positive: “Women should adorn themselves.” These are not the words of an anti-fashion prude. The same word “adorn” is used to speak of a bride beautifying herself for her husband (Revelation 21:2). It is a term that expresses being ornamented, well-kempt, and put in order.
The question for Paul isn’t about whether someone should ornament their body, but how.
2. Modesty is about who you worship.
In this context, Paul is talking about how women should prepare themselves for gathering at church. Women are commanded to adorn themselves in a way that is fitting for worship. If they “profess godliness”—that is, they desire to show God honor and reverence—how should they dress?
Paul puts his finger on the trigger of the problem. In Ephesus, the original destination of this letter, the cultural elite were known for their gaudy and extravagant wardrobes, their elaborate hairstyles, and their expensive clothing that communicated extraordinary wealth. James also warns against showing preference for men who dress expensively (James 2:1-4).
Here, Paul paints a picture of this for the Ephesians Christians and says, “Don’t mimic that. When you come to church, come dressed in a way that shows you desire for the attention to be on God, not yourself.” A person’s manner of dress, or even their preoccupation with clothing itself (Matthew 6:28-30), is often indicative of a heart that loves self more than God.
3. Modesty is about behavior and attitude, not just clothing.
When Paul says that women should wear “respectable apparel,” the term “apparel” is probably translated too narrowly; it is a term that encompasses not just clothing, but one’s whole demeanor, attitude, and actions.
From the clothing she wears to the way she carries herself, a Christian woman ought to be seemly and well-ordered (as the text here says, “respectable”). Ultimately, what should adorn a person is not just clothing but “good works.” As Christians, we are being remade by God for good works (Ephesians 2:10). Christ died so that we might be zealous for good works (Titus 2:14). Christians should seek to dress their lives in works that do good to others, marked with godly love.
This means biblical modesty is not simply about what we wear, but how we act, how we communicate, and how relate to others.
4. Modesty shows sensitivity to sin.
In this text, Paul says a woman’s apparel should be worn with “modesty.” Other translations opt for the word “decency.” The King James Version translates this “shamefacedness,” which gets more to the heart of the word. It means sensitivity to the presence of sin in the world.
It also means a demeanor of reverence–showing respect to oneself and a regard for others. It even carries the connotation of “bashful.” Connected to the term “shame,” the word implies the idea of grief over sin that is in the world—that someone would be so sensitive to sin, knowing that sin is offensive to God, that they would never come close to trying to provoke it in others.
No, a woman is not guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him. A man is not guilty of a woman’s lust if he dresses for the same purpose. But they are guilty of treating sin lightly. A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for one’s fellow person.
Related: Is Watching Porn a Sin?
5. Modesty involves cultural discretion.
Paul didn’t just paint broad strokes when talking about modesty; he gave specifics. He said braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire were out of place for a truly modest woman.
Some knowledge of Roman culture is helpful for understanding what Paul is saying. In Paul’s day, Greek hairstyles for women were fairly simple; hair was parted in the middle and pinned in the back. But a culture change was sweeping the region. Women in the imperial household were wearing their hair with elaborate curls and braids, covered in expensive ornaments. The elite throughout the empire copied this style.
Modesty and Culture in Ancient Times
For Paul, the appearance of braids and ornaments was more about what the fashion communicated. They carried connotations of imperial luxury and conjured up images of notoriously immoral empresses like Valeria Messalina and Poppeaea Sabina, ancient equivalents of Cosmopolitan cover girls.
The poet Juvenal, a contemporary of Paul, gives a vivid description of this cultural trend:
“There is nothing that a woman will not permit herself to do. Nothing that she deems shameful. And when she encircles her neck with green emeralds and fastens huge pearls to her elongated ears, so important is the business of beautification. So numerous are the tiers and stories piled one another on her head that she pays no attention to her own husband.”
Similarly, the philosopher Philo gives a description of a prostitute in his writing called “The Sacrifices of Cain and Abel”:
“A prostitute is often described as having hair dressed in elaborate braids, her eyes with pencil lines, her eyebrows smothered in paint and her expensive clothes embroidered lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and jewels hanging all over her.”
Paul’s description of immodest dress conjured a picture of someone preoccupied with appearance, fashion, luxury, and sexual prowess. Similarly, modern modesty standards are not about arbitrary rules of how much skin is shown or how low-cut something is, but about the messages and values our clothing communicates.
6. Modesty is about true freedom, not repression.
More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that restrict a woman’s creativity and freedom. And often enough, the biblical concept has been abused for this purpose. But when modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true.
(See Purity Culture and Its Unfortunately Intersection With Porn).
Paul says women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with “self-control.” This might be better understood as “self-mastery”—being of sound mind or sober, being in control of one’s impulses and appetites. In extra-biblical literature, this word has sexual nuances—being able to totally control your romantic and erotic desires.
Habitual immodesty is often, though not always, the fruit of a kind of slavery. A person might be enslaved by their desire to attract the opposite sex. They might define their worth by their fashion sense, sex appeal, image, weight, particular body parts, or the brand names they wear. This kind of slavery is widespread because sin impacts us all, and in today’s sexually charged, media-saturated culture, many men and women alike fall prey to it.
But as Christians, we are free from the slavery of sin because we are united to Christ. Paul exhorts us to live out this freedom: “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12). When it comes to modest dress, we can follow Paul’s next statement quite literally: Do not present the members of your body to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present your members to God as instruments for righteousness (verse 13). Paul wants Christian women to have self-mastery in their wardrobe choices and to be totally free from worldly ways of defining worth, beauty, and sexiness.
Ironically, it is not just those who are scantily dressed that are enslaved, but even those who pride themselves on their modesty. “Modest is hottest,” they say, unaware that in their own hearts, they are still enslaved to a preoccupation with their physical image, still defining their worth by their outward adornment.
Defining Biblical Modesty
Taken together, these aspects of biblical modesty help to give us a working definition.
Modesty is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a hatred of sin and a desire to draw attention to God.
When it comes to the subject of modest clothing, the first question we should ask ourselves is: What am I trying to accomplish by what I wear?
This ia an enlightening piece, Luke. I am a Muslim lady and I cover up but this is the first time I am stumbling upon anything Christian that talks about modesty. I had always thought only Islam emphasizes it. I am a Nigerian and I have a lot of christian friends and family but they all leave there are no rules binding them. the only Nigerian christain ministry that dresses modest are called fanatics cos of their strict rules concerning dressing. I think more Christains need to be Enlightened abiut this so the world can be a better place and they can stop seeing muslims ladies that cover up as freaks. i also want to ask about male modesty. shouldn’y we have something as such?
Hello Maryam,
Many Christian communities throughout the world have their own modesty standards, and I believe many Christians in general place a premium on modesty. There are, of course, exceptions. I will say, however, that modesty standards in Christian churches tend to be based other cultural factors: so what is modest for a Christian in Nigeria might look different from what is modest for a Christian in America or the UK. As my article states, there are sexual cues that get culturally attached to clothing styles in different cultures.
I also alluded to the idea of male modesty in the article, and you are right, it is an increasing concern. I will say, historically speaking, it is fairly new discussion in the world. Of course, there have always been men who act sexually inappropriate, but conversations about that tended not to be lumped into the “modesty” category. Today, however, there is a need to address this because we see men sexualized in media right alongside women.
Loved your article Luke :) Just wish there were specifics for things like bathing suits! I am a fitness professional and rely heavily on people trusting me that “working with me works.” Before and after pictures are key. I posted one such picture and received an email from a brother in the Lord appalled that I would post bikini pics. I had cropped off her head and they weren’t frontal shots (from the side and behind) but it did grieve me that I may have caused him to stumble. And honestly I am always hoping people will think I look nice in the clothes I wear. Not lust after me but I love compliments for sure. I just wish the Bible was as specific about dress as it was about the tabernacle. Give me a rigid set of definitions! Am I missing the point? maybe lol! It is possible to wear a bikini and be modest if the purpose is not to cause lust? maybe that is the better question. Are there some clothes that are just on the no-no list? that would be so helpful! Thank you, doing research and seeking a sincere answer. My heart just wants to please God.
You’re asking some great questions, Annabella, and I wish these things were more cut and dry as well. God was wise to write the Bible in such a way that it can fit into any culture, language, and ethnic group. Modesty, like it or not, will mean different things to different people.
Braided hair, for instance, is the example Paul gave, but the application is not about women braiding there hair now, but about what braided hair meant in the Greco-Roman culture of Paul’s day. Using wisdom, we need to look at similar situations today.
I see similar situations on a website that my wife manages for breastfeeding moms. Often pictures are needed to show positions and techniques. Should a man find this site, he likely would get an eye full of flesh, which I imagine could cause some to stumble. We reconciled this issue knowing that the site clearly advertises itself as a breastfeeding website, trusting that men who are attempting to guard their eyes will probably steer clear, and men who are looking to lust will do what they want to do anyway.
Perhaps there are ways you can set up some “gateways” on your website that allow men and women to self-select the before-and-after photos they want to see. Men who want to see photos of only men can do that, and women can see photos of only women: they choose what images they want to see. That would at least put up a barrier for those who are trying to be pure.
Perhaps instead of bikinis you could show the sections of the body you most want to feature, like the mid-section, rather than showing breasts and all. That may not be feasible, but perhaps it will help the situation some.
I really appreciate this wonderful article about biblical modesty. There is one area, medical modesty that many Christians and non-Christians do not really think about.
It bothers me about how many Christians preach that you should dress modestly, but that your modesty does not matter in medical settings. It is odd that many Christians preach that young women should dress modestly to help men to stay pure, but they see nothing with male gynecologists. This is a huge cultural blind spot. I think that in general, people tend to accept almost anything that the medical industry does because our culture sees doctors as the definitive “experts” on the human body. Often Christians fall into this trap; they submit to a doctor’s methods without questioning, but often doctor’s methods go against God’s nature.
I do not believe in situational ethics. If nudity is always wrong with the opposite sex except for your spouse after puberty, I believe it is wrong in all settings including medical. Doctors and nurses are humans like all of us and not exempt from God’s moral standards. Many Christians have fallen to the cultural blind spot that opposite sex intimate medical care is okay. I encourage you to check out some articles about this issue at http://www.truthmagazine.com/modesty-and-your-physician.
Look at how one man’s marriage was hurt by his wife going to a male gynecologist at http://www.patientmodesty.org/modestycomments.aspx?ID=2.
The abortion issue reminds me so much of opposite sex intimate medical care. Abortion was not performed in the bible, but infanticide was. There are plenty of bible verses that indicate that life begins at conception and that an unborn baby is human. We know murder is wrong based on God’s word so that is how we know abortion is wrong. Think about it this way: it is wrong for a man to shoot a pregnant woman in the stomach and kill her unborn baby, but it is okay for a doctor to kill an unborn baby through abortion in the name of medicine according to the pro-choice movement. Both the man and the doctor are equally guilty of murder. It is wrong for a person who is not in the medical profession to examine and touch private parts of a sexually mature person of the opposite sex she/he is not married to, but it is okay for a doctor or nurse to do that in name of medicine. It is ridiculous because God has the same standards for everyone including medical professionals.
It is very easy for your wishes for modesty or same gender intimate medical care to be violated and this is the very reason I started Medical Patient Modesty.
Misty
You bring up a good point, Misty. Thanks for raising attention to this.
What a great and beautiful message. I especially thank you for your words “My naked form is a thing of divine beauty.. I will not use such beauty as an opportunity for exploitation and indecency.” I struggle with self image issues, partly due to my ex husbands pornography addiction. Reading those words made me feel differently about my nude body and not focus on its imperfections for a bit. I wrote it on a note card and am placing it on my mirror for continual reassurance that my form is a thing of divine beauty.
Luke, thank you for you work and about caring about how these issues affect the lives of believers. And they do indeed, though not always for the reasons that we have traditionally thought.
I would submit to you one more resource for your perusal. Disclaimer: I am in no way connected with this website — I accidentally stumbled on it. But it has been absolutely transformative in my life and the life of my teenage son as I help train him in the path to purity. In order to “get it”, you’ll have to read every bit of the content on the site including external links:
http://www.mychainsaregone.org
Blessings,
Ed
Luke, thanks for the conversation stream. You’re right — both of us are looking at this modesty issue through radically different lenses and paradigms.
On the subject of Christians (not unbelievers) being dead to the law and sin, I would highly urge you to read at least one or more books by Pastor Dr. Andrew Farley. His first book is The Naked Gospel. His second is Heaven Is Now and his third book is God Without Religion. All three are phenomenal. If you haven’t read them, I dare you to read them as it could revolutionize your ministry.
With the general thrust of Covenant Eyes, I am concerned that you are trying to fight a battle with no ending. There is no ending to the amount of skin and “immodesty” you see in the world or even perceive in the Church. You can try to block out all of it (or what you think it is). However, in the final analysis, it will still be there – filter or no filter.
If you have a top of the line, steel-reinforced ladder, but lean it up against the the wrong house (the wrong goal), then the net outcome is that you will be leaned against the wrong house — no matter how good your ladder is.
Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll look into it.
I think you are right about the “thrust” of our business: it is battle that has no end, at least not in this age. That is nature of sin, however. It will continue until the end of the age. That doesn’t mean we don’t strive to live in holiness, and I believe the thousands of testimonies we receive from our customers are an indication that the Lord is using our services as tools to sanctify His people. This makes the battle more than worth it.
Not sure what “wrong house” we’re leaning our ladder against.
Luke, of course, the Apostle Paul was not preaching lawlessness. However, it was Paul himself that said that both sin and the Law was nailed to the cross. As believers, we died to both sin and the Law including the so-called moral laws. (not the just the ones prohibiting the consumption of bacon). We know love others and God out of the overflow in which God loved us first through the Resurrection of Christ.
Paul’s admonitions to the churches were always centered around focus: Since you are a new creation in Christ, don’t excessively focus on and become distracted with externals whether it is clothing, food, sports or playing golf. I maintain that he was not preaching anything even slightly smacking of prohibition but rather about our focus and identity in Christ. Any attempt to turn it into “Thou shalls” or “Thou shall nots” entirely cheapens and minimizes the message of the New Covenant and causes the Cross of Christ to become of no effect.
You know, at one time in my life, I hung around some, what I would call “Holiness Pentecostals”. They were very strict and legalistic in their teachings about everything in the Bible (nice people nonetheless). Anyways, the first time I came to their church, I was wearing a tie. Unbeknowst to me was the fact that they interpreted 1 Peter 3: 3-5 as meaning that women and even men are not to wear jewelry or clothing adornements (such as ties). In fact, they came up to me after the service and actually asked if I was saved because they told me that saved men and women don’t wear ties and jewelry! Thoughts?
Once you go down the prohibition road, there is no end to it — because everybody has their opinion. The best thing that we can do is allow the Holy Spirit to permeate our hearts and follow his admonitions from within — not from without. We must not become slaves to fashion or other the world’s opinion of us. That also includes the opinions of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Luke, I must still say, however, that your modesty standards for men vs. women are still highly confusing. It seems to revolve around your subjective feelings rather than any objective standards of “modesty”. It something looks or feels immodest to you, therefore it is (to you). The real test of your open-mindedness on this subject is if you allow your brothers and sisters to wear what their own consciences dictate without you passing judgment or pronouncements with your own ideas. That includes your interpretations of 1 Timothy 2: 8-10.
I believe you are confusing being dead to the law (as in the law of Moses) with being dead to the law of Christ (which, as Paul himself said, we are still very much in submission to). Of course that law is now written on our hearts and is empowered by the Spirit, but that doesn’t make such a law any less specific. There are moral commands all over Paul’s letters (1 Timothy included).
I agree that identity in Christ is at the heart of Paul’s command here, but that doesn’t make his command any less specific. In other words, “Women, your identity is now in Christ, so don’t wear things that demonstrate your identity is still bound up with the world.” With that at the heart of his command, it makes perfect sense for him to get granular with them. You really aren’t proving your point here, Ed. If Paul wasn’t trying to give them the impression that he didn’t want them wearing braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, he certainly was a poor communicator, because that’s exactly what he wrote.
Your experience with the Holiness church was unfortunate. Clearly, they were twisting a first century application of a timeless principle into a 20th century context. Never goes well when we do that.
I’m not sure what modesty standards of mine you are referring to (regarding men vs. women). I’ve really not gotten specific nor definitive in my statements about that. I’ve never said anything about what I personally think is immodest on a man or a woman in my comments to you, nor my article (trying to be careful to preface my statements with appeals to conscience). I’ve never asked anyone to cater to my ideas of how modesty should be applied, nor have I tried to apply it in anyone’s specific questions or statements here. I believe you’re putting words into my mouth.
I can see this line of comments is going nowhere fast, but let me summarize…
1. We clearly agree that modesty is a matter of the heart, that it applies to men and women, and that first and foremost people should be tenderized in their conscience over the matter. We also seem to agree that trying to bring Paul’s specific applications of first century modesty into a modern context does an injustice to the Bible.
2. We seem to disagree that God gives believers specific commands today. I’m really not sure where you get the idea that God has nailed all his moral laws to the cross, leaving us with no commands at all.
3. We also seem to disagree about the role of culture when it comes to modesty standards (what you call “subjective”). I’ve tried to make my case (in my article) that the reasoning behind Paul’s specifics (about what not to wear) were due to the culture of his day. In this sense, Paul was not being subjective but applying an objective principle through his discernment of what those items of clothing communicated to the people in Ephesus. Applying this to today, I believe Christians should discern the cultural cues certain kinds of clothing invoke and make wise choices, born out of heart-motivated modesty.
4. I have never defended or articulated a specific modesty standard (“don’t wear this, don’t wear that”), but you seem to keep confusing me with people from your past who have done so. I cannot apologize for these people. Nor can I defend them.
I’ve appreciated this discussion, Ed, but I fear you and I are talking over each other’s heads.
Luke, in 1 Timothy 2: 8-10, the Apostle Paul was not “laying down the law” about what women or men should or shouldn’t wear. After all, Paul was doing everything in his power to counteract the legalistic Judaizing message of those trying to take Gentile believers in Christ back under the law (the 10 Commandments, circumcision, dietary rules, sacrifices for blood atonement, commands about clothing, etc.).
He wasn’t directly or indirectly banning certain types of clothing or jewelry because that was not the message that Christ commanded him to preach. He was not telling the female believers in the Corinthian church that they couldn’t wear their hair in a particular way just because pagan women in their culture were wearing it that way. He wasn’t telling men that they couldn’t wear a very fancy and expensive tunic. He was preaching radical grace which is the truth that Gentile believers do not live and have never lived under the shadow of the Law but in the newness of the Spirit (the Law was for the Jews only and only for a set period of time in their history).
Paul was advocating that we live in accordance with our Christ-given new birth identity. When you are made aware that you are to be totally consumed with your new identity in Christ, then you won’t allow yourself to distracted with externals like trying to show off to the world your possessions or trying to curry favor with people solely by how you dress or what you wear on your body. Our attention is to be focused on the loveliness of our Lord Jesus — not externals.
Read 1 Timothy 1: 8-10 in the Message version:
“Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it”.
The Apostle was arguing for a heart check. He was arguing for a focus check. He was not ordering the Corinthians to conform to certain fashion standards in accordance with the prevailing cultural standards of his day. To do so, would have weakened and cheapened the clear message of grace, truth and freedom in Christ that he was teaching.
Paul was not setting up clothing and dress policies like many churches and companies do.
I think I’m going to have to disagree with on many accounts here. Yes, of course Paul was preaching a message of radical grace, but it was not a lawless message. Rather the opposite: Paul saw himself and other Christians under “the law of Christ,” which was a message of radical love to one another (1 Corinthians 9:21; Galatians 6:2). It was also a radical message about the gospel of God’s glory being extended into a lost and broken world (2 Corinthians 3-4).
Seen in this light, a message about modesty is totally fitting. When a lost and dying world sees women (and men) not enslaved to a desire for opulence or sexual prowess but rather carrying themselves in decency and purity, this adorns the gospel of grace. When Christian women (and men) hate sin and love one another, they can show that by how they dress, dressing in a manner that does not seduce.
If Paul wasn’t trying to speak about specific fashion styles, he certainly has led the whole Christian world astray hasn’t he? Why mention specifics if he didn’t mean them? When Timothy read this letter aloud to his church, do you honestly think the women said, “Well, that whole bit about hair styles…he didn’t really mean that”? Might as well just pitch out the whole letter it that’s the way they read Paul’s correspondence. It sounds like now you disagree with most of the points of my article. You’ve really got me confused.
Of course Paul wasn’t setting up a dress code the same way many do today. That isn’t the contention of my article at all, and you have already agree with me on this in your above comments.
A you said in your paper (where you also quoted the Message): “I found it affirming to note that Eugene Peterson made certain to tie together the instructions to men and women, considering them both to be commands towards humility. It is notable that he completely omitted any reference to how women are supposed to dress.” This is exactly what Mr. Peterson did, and to the effect that people treat this as an accurate “translation,” I would urge them not to.