Knowing that porn is wrong is not the struggle for me. Staying motivated to abstain from it…now there’s the real struggle!
To give myself a fresh shot of motivation, every single morning I remind myself of 33 reasons why I must abstain from porn. I call it “My Personal Purity Motivation.” It usually takes me about 5 minutes to read through it or to listen to it on my iPod. (Yes, I have myself recorded, reading these 33 reasons. I listen to them in my office or riding down the road or when I’m working out.)
I learned the importance of daily reviewing my reasons/motives from the author and counselor Joe Dallas.
Over the years, I’ve learned the hard way that I need this daily shot of motivation to live pure for God. The daily review always has a powerful impact upon the rest of my day. I encourage other Christian men who have a background with pornography to develop their own list of reasons/motives. Feel free to use any of mine that you want to. I don’t consider it plagiarism. If my bullet fits your gun, shoot it!
Type your reasons/motives up on your computer. Then print them out, and put a copy in your planner or Bible (some place you’re going to see them everyday). If you want to, record yourself reading through them—and keep that recording on your iPod like I do—and then listen to it daily. It really does help.
So here they are…
33 reasons why I need to abstain from porn
- For the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31
- I’m commanded by God to live self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.
- Holiness is God’s will for my life.
- Jesus said loving Him comes down to obeying Him.
- It hinders my fellowship with God and everything flows out of that.
- My body is not my own. God purchased me with the shed blood of His Son.
- It’s worshipping the creature rather than the Creator (idolatry).
- It’s cheating on God (spiritual adultery).
- Only Jesus Christ can truly satisfy my heart’s thirst.
- God is always watching me.
- Angels and demons are often watching me.
- It prevents me from having an effective prayer life.
- It diminishes the spiritual power I need to impact this world for Christ.
- It interferes with my ability to make wise decisions.
- It hinders my fellowship with my brothers in Christ.
- It brings God’s discipline.
- It causes anxiety, paranoia, fear, irritability, anger, and depression.
- It causes God’s blessings upon my life, family, and ministry to be withheld.
- My children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren need me to be holy.
- It leads to more sin and worse sin.
- It diminishes my focus and motivation to work hard and achieve my goals.
- It creates impulse control problems in other areas of my life.
- It causes me to be angry, harsh, and disrespectful towards my wife and children.
- I made a vow to my wife before God to forsake all others.
- It puts spiritual and emotional distance between me and my wife.
- It diminishes my attraction/arousal for my wife.
- It deeply hurts my wife by making her feel like she’s not good enough for me.
- It diminishes my wife’s trust and respect for me.
- It causes my eyes to wander when I’m around real women.
- Every female is someone’s daughter.
- Every female is someone whom Christ loved enough to suffer and die for.
- The one who lives with integrity lives securely, but whoever perverts his ways will be found out. – Proverbs 10:9
- God does not withhold good from those who live with integrity. – Psalms 84:11
Jason George is the Founder and President of Narrowtrail Ministries. He’s an itinerant evangelist and teacher who speaks at churches, camps, conferences, schools, etc. He and his wife have been married for over twenty years and have three children. Jason utilizes Covenant Eyes Accountability Software on all of his computers and his iPhone. Jason also produces a weekly podcast called, “THE GRIZ PODCAST,“and it’s all about helping boys become men and helping men become better men. It’s available on iTunes.
I am a believer in Christ and a member of a 12-Step recovery group for sex and love addicts anonymous. I have come to realize that shame is the fuel of addiction. The cycle goes like this: Shame – acting out (sin) – guilt, sorrow, more shame – acting out… etc.
Whether we’re talking about hard-core addiction or just the habit of viewing porn, the list that Jason has laid out could work for the habitual user who’s trying to get motivated to quit. But it’s not enough for a hard-core addict, even one who claims to be a born-again Christian.
I tried to quit many, many times when I was a teen, and on into my early twenties, (I am in my sixties now), but the cycle continued. Confession to God wasn’t enough to stop the cycle of shame, and I continued to act out.
What was wrong? I was isolated, too afraid to talk to anyone about it. I was too ashamed to come forward.
My fractured life proved that keeping my sexual addiction a secret was all wrong. By keeping it hidden, I failed to deal with the shame. And the power of shame continued to fuel the addiction.
Through the help of a skilled therapist, I joined a 12-Step group. As I attended meetings and worked through the 12 Steps, I learned what was missing: The help of another addict who knew the way. Anonymity was another factor that gave me a safe place where I could work through my addiction.
Glad to hear your story. I’m just in the process of getting started in recovery. Just joined SA but right now during the pandemic, everything is via Zoom. But I’m glad to have exposed the secret to my wife, hooked up with a counselor who directed me to SA and Covenant Eyes.
porn is human nature and it’s a problem for usually only males. Some couples like to have sex while watching others have it on the screen. If it was so bad why does God allow it to feel so good and so spiritual? Why didn’t he include porn in the 10 commandments? Simple to answer this cause mankind this was one of their creations and where did they learn it from? The Garden of Eden the forbidden fruit the Nakedness of Adam and Eve. That is where Porn got it’s start. Sex has been around before Christianity/Bible but porn is entirely a creation and point of view shared by mankind. It’s a cop out to say God never sinned when he looked at eve naked or adam. It’s a misconception than Mankind created SIN. Sin was the name of mythical and evil God long before the Bible was ever written.
God knew how Adam and Eve looked before He made them, and why would he lust over Adam’s wife? God is the Creator of all things, he made their workings and breathed the breath of life into their nostrils. God also is a holy and pure God, so it would make no sense for Him to lust over His own creation. Now, Satan was the one who tempted and won over Eve and Adam to where they discovered their nakedness and made clothing out of fig leaves. Going forward a bit, Cain murdered Abel because he wanted what Abel got from God, and the word want, or wanted, is a synonym for lust and you could say that Cain lusted over what Abel got from the Lord. Mankind let sin into the world and death crawled in with it because they allowed Satan to tempt them.
To make this short and sweet, God created mankind in His image, so why would He lust over Himself? Also, Satan convinced us that it is good to lust after the opposite sex, so I think you are a wee bit confoozled.