“Don’t touch. Don’t taste. Don’t handle”. We hear these three “rules” often when learning how to fight—and overcome—lust.
The problem is, mere rule-keeping does not itself get to the heart of lust. This is one of the great lessons Paul teaches in Scripture. Merely knowing the law only aggravates our lusts (Romans 7:7-12), and following rigid ascetic regulations—don’t touch, don’t taste, don’t handle—is “of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh” (Colossians 2:20-23).
If the “law” itself is not able to turn our hearts away from temptation, then how exactly do we fight against a spirit of lust? And how can we finally overcome it?
Editor’s Note: Are you a teenager struggling with lust? Before reading this post, I encourage you to check out this article we wrote especially for teens, How to Overcome Lust: 4 Tips for Teens.
How the Bible Teaches Us to Fight Lust
In 2 Timothy 2:22, Paul offers some of the best, most concise bits of Biblical advice on how to overcome lust: “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
Commit it to memory. Chew on it daily. Let your mind marinate in it, for in it lies three biblical strategies for fighting lust.
See related: What is Lust in the Bible?
1. Run From Lust
“So flee youthful passions”
“Passions” refer to our cravings, our longings, and our desires. More specifically, the passage speaks of “youthful passions.” These fleshly lusts are said to “wage war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11). On the surface, these cravings are anchored in the members of our body (Romans 6:12), but as we look deeper, we find they stem from our sinful hearts (Romans 7:7). Ultimately, these passions are forms of idolatry (Colossians 3:5), revolving our lives and desires around created things rather than the Creator.
See related: For singles: How to Handle Strong Sex Drive in a God-Honoring Way
We must run from these things. Every Christian, even though he or she is indwelt by the Spirit of Christ, still lives in a mortal body surrounded by worldly amusements. These youthful lusts stubbornly cling to our heels. As we see these passions stirred in us, we must habitually flee from them.
- This might mean mentally fleeing: bouncing our thoughts away from lustful imaginations.
- This might mean visually fleeing: bouncing our eyes away from lustful images.
- This might mean physically fleeing: walking (or running) away from tempting situations.
See related: Overcoming Temptation: Bible Verses and Principles to Help You Resist Sin
2. Run to Christ
“. . . pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace”
It is not enough to flee from youthful lusts. We must run toward a new passion. We are to “pursue,” that is, eagerly and swiftly run toward Christlikeness.
Christ promises His people a heart of:
- Righteousness (real integrity, a passion for justice, and a life pleasing to God)
- Faith (strong and welcome conviction and trust in God)
- Love (benevolent affection toward God and others)
- Peace (tranquility in the heart and harmony with God and others)
We are to run hard after these things each day knowing these character qualities are how we were created to live. We pursue these things knowing it is our destiny to live this way. A billion years from now, when sin is a distant memory, we will be living lives of love, peace, and righteousness in the kingdom of God. Having this hope we purify ourselves, just as He is pure (1 John 3:3).
3. Run With Godly Friends
“. . . along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
We must not only run from lust and toward God’s vision for our lives, but we must also run with our brothers and sisters with the same vision. We must all find companions for this stretch of the road, those who share our faith and convictions, those in the common struggle for holiness.
These friends should be those who “call on the Lord,” an expression for those who are saved (Acts 22:16; Romans 10:13). These are other men and women who have also cried out to God for the forgiveness of their sins from a “pure” (genuine) heart.
Running with others involves a certain level of intentionality. It is not enough to simply know others around us are on the same journey because they profess the Christian faith. We must have real running companions, those who actually help us flee youthful passions and pursue a Christlike heart.
James 5:16 and Hebrews 10:24-25 offer four key building blocks that give structure to how Christian accountability should look. These building blocks are: meeting together, confession of sin, prayer, and encouragement.
Meeting together is the foundation. This includes all the basic methods of communication and conversation: meeting for coffee, talking on the phone, texting, writing emails, or anything that involves a meeting of minds. The central pillar in the room is confession of sin: getting honest with God and one another about what we are doing that we shouldn’t do or not doing what we should. The outer walls that support and protect this relationship are prayer and encouragement.
Why Can’t I Just Stop Lusting?
People ask me all the time, “Why can’t I just stop lusting?” I share my response to these people in this video below, which happens to include references to 2 Timothy 2:22. We believe so strongly that this verse contains the best strategy for how to overcome lust and quit porn that we actually used it as the foundation for a 40-day challenge called Overcome Porn. This challenge walks you through these three strategies and equips you with some of our best resources to put porn in your past for good. So watch this video, and give Overcome Porn: The 40-Day Challenge a try today.
Fighting against lust isn’t easy, but it’s also not something that you need to do alone. Through prayer, Scripture, accountability, and a heartfelt desire to flee from lustful passions, you can resist temptation and overcome lust.
We’d love to hear from you. What has God taught you about breaking free from lust? Comment below!
I am married and battling lust.The fantasies and thoughts started long before I met my husband I’ve had them probably since middle school I always thought it was because I was curious about sex. But here I am five years into marriage and battling more than ever I even battle while sitting right next to my husband.I don’t struggle with porn but lust and fantasies sometimes it scares me because I find myself having inappropriate thoughts about people who are definitely off limits like married men and ministers even I try to flee look away or remove myself from their presence but I still will have thought about someone else soon after changing my attention. My husband Also deals with a pornography addiction that comes and goes…or so I’m told. I tried telling him the truth about one of my dreams once and he tried to comfort me but after that He always accuses me of having something for,that person whenever their name comes up so I haven’t really been telling him what’s going on with me because it causes him to be very insecure…please help!
What strikes me, as a counselor, is the aspect of “fantasy” and “dream” that comes out here, along with the fact that you remember it starting in middle school. I think that porn and sexual fantasy is so often an escape mechanism from stress or difficulty or pain. I wonder what relationships in the real world are like for you? Because I’ve found that the more we allow ourselves to be loved and nurtured in real life, the less we need a fantasy world of escape. Honestly, I think you’d probably do really well to explore that with a counselor. I like to recommend the American Association of Christian Counselors as a good place to find someone in your area. I applaud you for taking this seriously, and I’d just encourage you to consider what pain might be driving this long-term need for fantasy. Let me know what you think! Kay
Have you considered talking this through with other female friends who can support and pray for you? I think this would be a great help. You might even want to use this accountability resource with some close friends who can listen to your confessions and support you.
I always find it difficult to overcome my lust and has been asking God for forgiveness all the time wen I get defeated by lust. please help me out to never go back to it again I feel God will not forgive me again this time cos I was just overcomed again
I have been addicted to porn for 19years .i really want to please GOD. Help
I’m sorry to hear that, Chibeza. I highly recommend you download Your Brain on Porn. It is a free e-book and will give you a great place to start.
Numbers 15:37 And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, 38 Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue: 39 And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the Lord, and do them; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring: 40 That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God. 41 I am the Lord your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the Lord your God.
Nice passage. What exactly does it have to do with this article?
Would it be nice to start the day out in prayer on this site like one hour set aside to share prayer needs
We were wondering if anyone from the Southern NJ area could contact us? We are a recovering family and need all the help we can get. Thank you.
I recommend you look through this database of support groups or search this database of counselors.
I am not addicted to porn; I am addicted to lust. I have found lately that the overwhelming urge to have sex is eating away at my resolve. I’ve been celibate for three years, nine months and 26 days (yes, I’ve kept count). I am not in a relationship and I don’t even have any prospects. This is helpful only because I am not the type of person to have sex with just anyone. In other words, if you’re not my mate, then I won’t have sex. However, just recently, my list levels have creeped to an all-time high and I want sex badly. The only thing that I want more than the sex is to please and live for God. The problem is, and forgive me for the cliche, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Please help
Hi Tiffany. I highly recommend you get in touch with our friends at Beggar’s Daughter. It is a ministry for women who struggle with lust. Check our their Facebook page.
I have been hooking up with a girl that i dont love for sometime now and everytime I do this i feel wrong afterwards and have found myself unable to let people into my life. Fight the temptation it will not satisfy anything.
I seem not to get free from lust, each time a see a woman my heart goes for her. I have tried and talked to myself about changing and avoiding this behaviour but every time proves a challenge. Secondly, I usually have dreams of dreams of being in relationship with woman or seeing myself married to them. Please, how do i deal with this?
I think the first step is deciding what is temptation and what is sin. It isn’t sin to be tempted. It isn’t sin to desire sex. If a woman walks by and you notice you are attracted to her, don’t immediately rush to the place of shame as if you have done something wrong.
A gentleman recently wrote his testimony on our blog about this. Here’s what he said:
As far as the fantasies go, it is important to get these things under control. This sounds to me more like lust than just temptation. I highly recommend you read this article about reasons why men watch pornography. Just replace the word “porn” with your own romantic fantasies and I think you’ll find it helpful.
Try to remember what you thought of girls before when you were a child.we should have faith like a child and innocence in how we look at things
Great truths herein. Can’t believe I haven’t seen your blog before this. I’m going to put a link to this on my blog. Just posting about the causes of Betrayal in Marriage.