10 Tips for Staying Porn-Free While Traveling

From the bathroom of our suite, I heard my wife scream out. She had flipped on the TV and just channeled down. The large flat-screen pulsated with hardcore pornography. Graphic sex was one click away at the resort we were staying at. We had been in our room for less than 30 minutes.

Staying porn-free while traveling doesn’t happen by accident. It takes work and planning ahead. A hotel can be a dangerous environment without a plan. Here are 10 tips I use to keep myself safe while traveling.

1. Never Turn on the TV

Many hotel chains don’t offer on-demand adult movies anymore, but they all have premium cable. And with that you’re going to get “late night” entertainment. So I’ve found that it’s just easy to say ahead of time that TV is not an option for me. (Most chains will remove the TV upon request.)

2. Charge Your Smart Phone In the Bathroom At Night

This sets a physical boundary with you and your device. It eliminates rolling over in bed and mindlessly surfing. It’s a simple thing. It’s effective.

3. Stay Off Your Computer (in Your Room)

It goes without saying but using a computer or tablet in a hotel room is a bad idea. Even if you have a good filter with accountability, you’re isolated and could blow right past your boundaries. When I am traveling for business I lock my laptop in my rental car trunk.

Every hotel (or any person’s house you would visit) has a common room where you can get on Wi-Fi. Hotels maintain business centers that are always dead. So be the guy who uses the business center or goes to a coffee shop. If you need to work, find a common place.

4. Avoid Long Unaccountable Time (in Your Room)

Plan on going to your room, showering, calling your spouse or your accountability partner, and then going to bed. Limit the time you are alone in your room.

I’ve gone to movies at 8 or 9 o’clock by myself, just to give myself something to do.

When I know people in the city where I’m visiting, I connect with them. I’ll say, “Hey, I’m going to be in town for three days. Are you available to get together?”

If you’re at a conference, work hard at networking. Don’t wait for people to invite you to dinner. Start inviting people. Try to gather groups together. You can build community yourself. Talk to people in line or at the hotel breakfast bar. Ask them about their stories.

The more meaningful ways you can connect with people, the less temptation will be waiting for you when you get back to your room.

5. Bring a Book

When I have trouble going to sleep, I like to get out a real book. No iPad® for travel reading. Always have a book in your bag. The TV is off. Your phone in the bathroom. Your computer is in your car. Get reading!

6. Avoid Masturbation

This will not ease the aloneness you feel while traveling and it can lead back to porn. Find other ways to deal with boredom or excess energy.

7. Limit Your Alcohol Use

When you drink too much you lose your ability to make good choices. If you are sober in an alcohol sense, you’re going to be better at following through on your boundaries.

8. Set a Bed Time

This is when you’ll be in bed with the lights out. Travel can be exciting and amp us up even if we need sleep. Keep a routine like your routine at home. You make better decisions when you’re well rested.

9. Set a Morning Exercise Goal

This serves two purposes. It ensures you go to bed on time the night before and it tires your body out. This reinforces the bedtime routine the next night. I’ve done things like yoga, swimming, biking, hiking, and running on business travel.

A full morning routine is also helpful. If you’re in a place for 3-4 days, set a routine you can follow each day. Get your coffee at the same time, do your exercise, spend time with God. This will help ground you.

10. Check in Daily

Before your trip, choose someone who you check in with each day. I like to send an “all clear” text at the end of the night right before I charge my phone. Daily phone calls, even when you have to leave a message, also help. If I crossed a boundary or missed a goal, I will say it and follow up with a call the next day (depending on the time.)

When you travel, be proactive. “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.” This is especially true when traveling. Think through the environment you will be staying at and identify any potential triggers. Above all stay connected. Resist the temptation to isolate and be anonymous. What happens in Vegas, in fact, comes back home with you—so make a plan.