The Safe Digital Family Challenge
Day 1: How It’s Different Today
As parents, we care deeply about our children. We want them to thrive in school and grow up healthy, strong, and smart. But we’re also often overly optimistic about our kids being “good kids” who would never seek out porn.
The problem is, our kids don’t have to seek out porn; it seeks them out. A 2021 study of 16-18-year-olds in New Zealand found that 95% of boys and 70% of girls had seen porn at least once in their life, and 55% were exposed accidentally the first time. On average, boys were first exposed by age 11 and girls by age 13.
Perhaps worst of all, the study found that 87% of boys and 69% of girls did not tell anyone about it. Of those who did tell someone about it, it was usually a peer. Only 17% of boys and 38% of girls who told someone about it told their caregivers. In other words, out of a group of one hundred boys, only two boys and twelve girls told their parents or guardians when they were exposed to porn.
Parents, we need to do better for our kids. We don’t mean better at catching them or just blocking their access to porn. Our kids need our guidance so that we are the first people they come to for advice about their bodies and sexuality or when they accidentally stumble across pornography.
Many parents find that very difficult since they themselves were raised in an environment where parents just didn’t talk about sex. Don’t worry! Over the course of this week, we’ll provide resources and information to help you start the conversation.
Questions for Reflection:
Each day we’ll have a list of questions for you for self-reflection. We recommend talking these through with your spouse, or even any older teens. Whether you just reflect to yourself or talk them through, make it a goal to not get defensive or angry about what you hear. Even the best parents make mistakes and have room for improvement. Your goal is to just listen to others and be honest with yourself.
- Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 on how comfortable you think your kids are with asking you about difficult topics like porn or sex. Consider asking your kids the same question! Remember, don’t get defensive if they don’t rate you as highly as you’d like. This is an opportunity to learn to listen to them when they say tough things.
- Spend a few minutes in prayer. Ask God to help you grow through this week. If you’ve rarely or never talked to your kids about porn or sex, pray about starting that conversation. Pray for it to go well, and pray for your attitude and reaction if you hear what you don’t want to hear.