The 40 Day Challenge Part 1: Run From

According to the blog Discover Healthy Habits, 41% of Americans make New Year’s Resolutions, but by the end of the year only 9% think they were successful in keeping them. There are psychological reasons why most New Year’s resolutions fail. The deck is stacked against you.

How do you set a resolution that sticks? What does behavioral science say, and how does the Bible shed light on quitting porn?

1. Start with small, measurable goals.

One common trend among those who fail at their New Year’s resolutions is that their goals are too large. One key to success is to break the overall goal into a series of steps, focusing on sub-goals that are concrete, measurable, and time-based.

We don’t want to merely reduce porn to some manageable frequency. Drinking less deadly poison compared to yesterday is not an admirable goal.

But we can break our goal down into day-by-day, moment-by-moment steps.

Write down a list of Seemingly Unimportant Decisions that typically bring you one step closer to viewing porn. Is it getting online at night all by yourself? Watching certain Netflix shows? Write these triggers down and choose not to do these things for three weeks. After three weeks, set a new goal.

Pick a “fighter verse” that you will memorize and choose to speak aloud the moment a tempting thought enters your mind.  Choose just one of these Scripture passages, and recite it throughout the day or whenever you notice your thoughts heading the wrong direction:

• Job 31:1
• Psalm 101:3
• Psalm 119:9-10, 37
• Proverbs 7:25-27
• Matthew 5:28-29
• Romans 6:12
• Romans 13:14
• 1 Corinthians 6:18
• Ephesians 5:3
• Philippians 4:8
• Colossians 3:5
• 1 Thessalonians 4:3
• 2 Timothy 2:22
• Titus 2:11-13
• 1 Peter 2:11

2. Focus on the rewards.

People who achieve their New Year’s resolutions regularly remind themselves about the benefits. Create a checklist of how life will be better once you achieve your aim. What will be the reward?

The Bible makes many promises to the sexually pure: 

• Your life will bear fruit that is full of goodness, rightness, and truth (Ephesians 5:8-9).
• Your mind will no longer be foggy, your heart will be teachable, and you will be filled with the life of God (Ephesians 4:17-19).
• Your heart will not be enslaved to the worship of sex (1 Kings 11:4).
• You will no longer waste time but instead make the most of it (Ephesians 5:16).

Read and reread these promises. Rewrite these promises as an “I Want” declaration to yourself: “I want to bear good fruit”; “I want my mind to be clear and my heart teachable”; etc. Each day, prayerfully remind yourself: This is the kind of person I want to become.

3. Establish built-in reminders.

Moses scheduled set times throughout the year for the priests to blow trumpets as reminders to the people (Leviticus 23:24). Joshua used stones from the Jordan River to build a memorial as a reminder of crossing it on dry ground (Joshua 4). Jesus himself instituted the Lord’s Supper to serve as a visible reminder to the Church of his death (1 Corinthians 11:23-26).

It isn’t “unspiritual” to manipulate your physical environment so you can be reminded of your commitments. Do what works for you. Post sticky notes everywhere. Wear a ring or bracelet. Set alarms or alerts on your phone or on your computer calendar.

4. Be accountable for your goals.

People who kept their resolutions told their friends and family about their goals. This accomplished two things: it increased the fear of failure and created a network of support.

Accountability is biblical.  In the New Testament, the phrase “one another” is repeated frequently, giving the Church a picture of the kind of relationships we are meant to have: relationships of encouragement (1 Thessalonians 4:18), bearing each others’ burdens (Galatians 6:2), admonishment (Romans 15:14), and love (Romans 13:8).

A study from Fuller Theological Seminary found that those who used Covenant Eyes Accountability and went to counseling experienced a 66% drop in relapses, and many participants said they never relapsed.

5. Have the right attitude about slips.

If we slip and start watching a little pornography, often we say, “Well, I’ve already sinned. I might as well sin big.” The Conquer Series teaches those in sexual bondage, “A relapse does not stop the healing process, but it will have consequences.” This balance is critical. Relapses into sexual sin are genuine setbacks, but they should not defeat us.

Dr. Mark Laaser writes, “Slip is an acronym for ‘Short Lapse In Progress.’” When you slip on Day 89 of sobriety you are not back at square one. Genuine progress was made. Change happened. Don’t let it defeat you.

6. Fight from a new identity.

With every struggle in our lives—be it overcoming sinful habits or getting through times of incredible pain—we are always simultaneous sinners, sufferers, and saints.

As sinners and sufferers, we are limited in our ability to change. But as saints, we are united to a God who knows no limits, who is not intimidated by our sin or our lack of faith. God’s grace does not just overcome the guilt of sin; it overcomes the grip of sin.

Paul says: “Consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11). We are no longer defined by our past or present sins, guilt, shame, or relationship to this sinful world. We belong to the sinless age to come. This is who we truly are.

If we make a resolution to stop looking at porn, we must do so standing firm in our identity as saints. Each time the temptation comes along, we should resist it, saying to ourselves, “This is not who I am. I am dead to sin. I am united to a Deliverer who is able to do far more abundantly than all I can ask or imagine.”