Advanced Ally Training

Day 15: De-Tangling the Triggers

We’ve spent a few days discussing triggers, and hopefully you have an idea of at least one trigger that’s leading your friend to porn. Our next step is to learn how to handle them.

Remember HALT? It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. While these might not be the sole triggers leading to porn, they’re big contributing factors for a lot of people, and three of them are comparatively easy to fix.

  • If hunger is a trigger, make sure your friend is giving their body food that will keep it satisfied. Help them readjust their meals and snacks by balancing carbs for the quick satiety with protein for the long-term filling effects. Foods like almonds or beef jerky will keep your friend feeling fuller longer.
  • If your friend is always tired, help them improve their bedtime routine. Pick a consistent bedtime, and have them put their phone away 30 minutes before they want to sleep. Encourage them to use that time to do things to physically relax, like reading an actual paper book. (Ereaders are great, but the light may mess with your body’s ability to sleep.)
  • Loneliness may be a little harder to solve, especially if your friend lives alone. Even so, there are plenty of ways for them to intentionally foster relationships. Encourage them to look online for local community groups, like board game meetups, book clubs, or intramural sports. Make yourself available to your friend (that’s part of your job as an ally), but don’t allow yourself to be their sole social outlet.

Your goal today: Have your friend pick one of these things to work on. Maybe it’s eating an apple as soon as they get home from work to curb the hunger, or maybe it’s turning off the phone at 10 p.m. Whatever it is, have them be consistent, and pay attention over the next few weeks as to whether or not it helps.

TEXT YOUR FRIEND:

  • Have you noticed hunger, loneliness, or tiredness contributing to feeling tempted?
  • What one strategy will you try to combat one of these feelings this week?

FOR PEOPLE OF FAITH:

Read 1 Kings 19:1-8. Despite a major victory, Elijah is afraid and depressed. Why do you think God’s first response was to let Elijah nap, then provide food and water for him?

Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.

1 Kings 19:1-8