Pornography is a killer. Whether it is viewed sporadically or our indulgences are a daily (or hourly) occurrence, it will within time prove to be the death of all that is good.
We are often blinded to this reality because we typically do not experience consequences over night. The repercussions of our actions are usually the culmination of many baby steps by seemingly insignificant (or at times, blatant) compromise.
Before discovering pornography and masturbation, I was a very joyful person. Seeking after God and living for Him was a delight. I had genuine intimacy with God. I had not yet known the dark paths sin can lead you and ways it will surely diminish your will to live. I was content and at ease for the most part with who I was as a person. (On my blog, I post articles I’ve written regarding pornography and masturbation including many helpful steps to overcome it if you’d like to check that out).
See Is Porn Bad? 10 Things to Consider Before Watching.
Because of my experiences, I want to warn you about many of ways porn (and sexual sin in general) will ruin your life before you even realize it:
- It will kill your desire for pleasing and knowing God. You will lose interest in reading the Bible, spending time in prayer will be seen as a boring task, attending church will become a bother, you will lose your understanding of what it means to find your value and joy through Christ alone, and studying Christian resources will be viewed upon with contempt.
- It will isolate you from others and stop your ability to form healthy and intimate relationships where transparency is treasured and a regular part of communication.
- It will remove any longing to pursue hobbies because escaping into a fantasy world of porn and the pleasures of self-gratification will trump your desire for anything outside of access to a computer and alone time.
- It will stop you from taking your God-given roles and responsibilities seriously.
- It will make you lazy as a person and will drastically increase a selfish mindset, thereby allowing your marriage or relationships with friends and family to suffer.
- It will make you irritable, short-tempered, and angry when something gets in the way of having your fix.
- It will steal your time and money.
- It will breed feelings of self-loathing and insecurity.
- It will create an insatiable longing for unattainable sexual pleasure while your thoughts of fantasy run rampant and become uncontrollable.
- It will destroy intimacy in marriage, cause any trust and integrity to dwindle away, and can rightly be considered adultery.
- It will harm us as we begin to crave the often illegal acts we see in films and when masturbation gets old, can very well lead us to do things we never thought possible.
- It dehumanizes us and will turn you into a predator who sees others as prey. It blinds us to the humanity and dignity of every person.
- It leads us down unforeseen paths and brings nothing but a labyrinth of wandering from who and what was once most important and precious to us.
“Porn promised us freedom, we became enslaved; it promised us intimacy, we found only isolation; it promised us excitement, we ended up bored; it promised us ‘adult entertainment’ and we became increasingly juvenile.” – Matt Fradd
Whether you are in the very midst of addiction, know somebody who is, or are just curious about how sin has the potential to destroy, always remember that no one is exempt from sin. Temptation is ever present and the opportunities to sin really are endless. Please purpose to dwell on what is listed in Philippians 4:8 and take every decision you make seriously; constantly keeping the truth of Galatians 6:7 (NASB) in mind:
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.”
Porn ruined my life. It was an outlet to escape emotional pain, I should of dealt with as a teen. The pain caused me to become numb, and eventually in my 20’s when I met the love of my life, between my emotional pain and porn distraction, I lost her.
She is getting married to someone else soon, and all that is left for me is more pain and suffering.
I’m a 27 year old married man with 2 daughters.. Everytime I watch porn I feel so bad about it. I can be on a very good path with God seeking him, worshiping daily, reading the bible, and just loving God and trying to give him all of me. But I still fall into the sin of watch porn knowing that I will be sorry afterwards, I do it anyway and regret it deeply only to watch porn again 30 minutes to an hour later. When I wake up I feel angry, disconnected, and worried and it’s making me problems in my marriage. I know that the Holy Spirit that lives in me is telling me to stop watching porn because it’s not good for me both spiritually and physically. With the help of God I will stop today and I repent of that ugly sin and get my life and my mind back. In the name of jesus Amen
Thanks for this article.I’ve read a lot like these but then I always find myself going back into pornography and masturbation.I’ve been addicted to these since 12 and now I’m 16.Enough is enough.I want no more of this.I want to feel that Christian joy and fulfillment again and also have pure thoughts about sex and transparency in my relationship with the opposite sex
Well…. I am ruined – I am a 45 year old man never married without kids. I’m sure a lot of it had to do with me being a loser due to porn. It’s time for me to die – if someone wants to kill me be my guest but be quick about it and please don’t hurt my cat.
Hello – I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. Whenever you feel tempted, turn that trigger towards something else, even reaching out to someone you trust (I know it’s uncomfortable to talk to someone about this, but think about how much better you felt after posting this comment? Multiply that by 1,000 and that’s how it feels to speak openly with a loving, trusting person about your struggles). If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255, if you are in the United States. If not, please find that trusting friend.
Peace, Chris
Hi, I’m Ronald. I started viewing porn and masturbating when I was a teenager. Now I’m in my forties. I became a real Christian about 2 years ago and I’ve successfully quit masturbation. That was relatively easy for me and one of the greatest benefits is my problem of frequent urination has basically disappeared. I’m sure the two are related (masturbation and frequent urination) because for me, as soon as one stopped, the other followed suit. Now I can go anywhere without worrying about where the toilet is. That’s a kind of freedom.
Nonetheless, I still have difficulties quitting porn. I still have very strong urges to watch them frequently. But I’ve found that the best way to quit is substitution. If we saturate our lives and minds with good and beautiful things, porn automatically becomes much less attractive. I believe that we can only see the true absurdity and ugliness of porn when we find true meaning and beauty in our lives. That said, it could be a long, hard battle. But if we persist, we will win. God bless you all.
I’m Felix, a 21 year old male. I really need help and assistance. I began watching porn and masturbating six years ago, when I was 16. I used to watch porn as a pass time until finally one day I got overwhelmed and masturbated. And from that one instance, I was hooked. I can’t even begin to describe the many ways in which pornography and masturbation addiction has wasted my life. Back when I was in lower level school, I used to perform exemplary well in my academics as well as co-curricular activities, and I used to read the Bible oftenly and firmly believe in God. Now after getting started with porn, which was as a result of being a shy and scared of approaching girls, my life took a downward spiral. My grades in high school dropped, as well as my esteem. I advanced in my watching of porn and even began masturbating to sex stories I’d read secretly in my phone. I advanced from normal pornography to darker forms such as incest porn, rape fantasies and brutal sex porn. After joining campus, my life turned to the worst, where my self esteem and confidence went to zero. I didn’t socialize with people, let alone girls, and rarely attended classes. I’d laze around in my bed watching ponography and gambling. I can’t even mention my grades, which are at an all time low. And I forgot about God. I never knew that ponography and masturbation can drastically affect a persons life to that extent, to the point where you feel defeated by life – the once great person I was. The worst thing about this form of addiction is that it gnaws you from the inside, and it’s difficult for people around you to know that you’re hooked, unless you tell them, unlike drug addiction where everyone can notice. Now, my parents still think I’m doing fine but deep down, the spirit in me is gone. Laziness has crept into me. I have zero commitment to myself or any other activity like education or business. I have never shared my addiction with any friend or physical person as I wonder who to approach. I have tried quitting ponography on my own, reading posts about the effects of porn, but I only get to stop for a while then relapse.
Please help. I need help, salvation and God, to start living.
It actually sounds to me like you’re depressed, and I wonder if you’ve suffered some trauma from the kinds of porn you’ve been exposed to. I would suggest that you find a therapist who can help you through the entire process of recovery, rather than struggling through it on your own. Peace, Kay
I’m boy of 18 years,I started viewing porn when i was 13 years of age and now,i don’t even know hw to start asking God to forgive me because i find it difficult to forgive myself.i wish someone could tel me,”there is a way out”!!
Well, first of all, you have a sex drive, which is perfectly normal. Unfortunately, internet porn doesn’t portray anything close to normal and can quickly become unhealthy, as you’ve seen.
It might help to think about healthy sexuality in relation to other healthy physical drives. Take food for example. When we become obsessed with food, we might develop an eating disorder, either a bingeing disorder where we eat and eat and can’t stop, or a restricting disorder, where we starve and starve. Or you can develop and binge-and-purge disorder, where you both binge on food and then purge. Often, a great deal of anxiety and shame accompanies this cycle.
Just like many people are obsessed with food, MANY CHRISTIANS ARE OBSESSED WITH SEX. Instead of being able to see sex as a gift, and enjoy it in healty ways, purity culture is obsessed with restricting sex in unhealthy ways. The development of internet porn has allowed many Christians to develop a binge-and-purge relationship with their sexuality: binge on porn, then purge with a great deal of anxiety and shame.
If you want to break this cycle, I would suggest beginning with accepting yourself as a healthy young person with a healthy sexual appetite. This begins to detach anxiety and shame from the cycle. As you do that work, you can more easily choose what is healthy for you in terms of exercising your sexuality. When you make less healthy choices, accept yourself and move on. Over time, you’ll likely find that you won’t be as obsessed, you won’t be as anxious, and you’ll be more in control of your choices. Here’s a short animation that might help. When you’re feeling less shamed and anxious, you might be able to talk with some trusted friends about your situation and what you’re trying in terms of healthier choices.
As far as God is concerned, God loves you unconditionally, which means: without condition. God loves you when you are viewing porn. God will love you whether you quit or not.
Porn has ruined my life
Hello, Nosa – I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. Is there something specific that the Covenant Eyes blog community can help you with? Please don’t give up hope. You are not alone.
Chris
There is no word in this life good enough to describe how much I hatd porn in my heart but l just can’nt stop it. The amount of damage porn has done to my life is something l will life to regret “forever” . My academic perfomance, my spiritual life, my health, the world of fantasy l live in, I just dont know how to describe the effect of porn on me than just to say it has ruined my life!
Diatribes like yours are what will contribute to ruining a person’s life because they use guilt to attempt to exert control over people. Please stop using guilt and shame to inflict emotional and spiritual abuse on people regarding what are completely natural, healthy instincts.