At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might sound like an odd question. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?”
For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the internal dynamics that drive it, the question sounds irrelevant.
But for those for whom lust is their primary concern when it comes to masturbation, the question is of immense importance.
Is it always lusting to masturbate?
Christians disagree on what the Bible says about masturbation. Some Christians point to Genesis 38:9-10, where Onan sins by “spilling his seed” (i.e. masturbating), to avoid conceiving a child as God commanded. It’s reasonable to conclude from this that God disproves of masturbation, at least in some circumstances. However, this passage alone does not give enough detail to conclude that masturbation itself is wrong or why.
Why is masturbation sinful?
Jesus said that the things that come from the heart defile a person (Matthew 15:19). So the more important question is this: what is the heart of the matter when it comes to masturbation? What is it about our hearts when we masturbate that does—or doesn’t—make it wrong?
Many Christians have looked to Matthew 5:28 to answer this question. Jesus says, “I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In other words, sexual sin begins with attitudes of the heart, not merely our outward actions. If a person can commit adultery in their thoughts without the physical act, then it follows that the real sin of masturbation is something deeper than the physical act.
Masturbation is sinful because it involves lust.
So is it sinful to masturbate without porn?
The Bible is clear that watching pornography is a sin. But many wonder whether it’s still sinful to masturbate if you don’t use porn. Some still struggle with masturbation long after they leave porn behind.
But is it really sinful if you’re not looking lustfully at pornography?
It’s important to remember that Jesus’s teaching about lust goes beyond explicit porn. “Adultery in the heart” could be any kind of sexual impurity. So then, just because you aren’t watching porn doesn’t mean that you aren’t lusting when you masturbate.
What the Bible makes clear about masturbation.
Though we haven’t yet answered the specific question of whether masturbation is sinful, we can already see some clear biblical teachings:
- Scripture teaches at least some masturbation is wrong. Romans 14:23 adds that anything that isn’t of faith is sin. That means that even if masturbation itself isn’t sinful, it’s sinful to masturbate if you believe it’s wrong and do it anyway.
- Furthermore, the Bible teaches that when God saves us from our sin, he transforms and changes our hearts and behaviors—including our sexual habits like masturbation (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
- Followers of Jesus should seek to submit themselves to his commands and obey him no matter what the cost. That means we should be willing to give up masturbation if we feel convicted.
3 Types of People and How They Masturbate
In his book Sex, Men, and God, Doug Weiss says there are three types of men in the world (and, I assume, this goes for women, too):
1. Those who have never masturbated (Type A)
Weiss believes this group of men is the smallest camp of men in the Western world. After years of speaking at men’s conferences, he’s only met 14 men who claim to have never masturbated.
In other cultures, Weiss adds, masturbation simply isn’t a cultural norm and is relatively uncommon.
2. Those who do not fantasize or lust during masturbation (Type B)
This type of person stays “connected” to himself during masturbation—they don’t escape into fantasy. For this person, the act is merely performing a bodily function. As such, there is little emotion attached to the experience, and typically no sense of guilt or shame.
3. Those who lust during masturbation (Type C)
These folks are “disconnected” during the act of masturbation; their focus is on a mental image, an actual image, or an object.
Why does it matter if there are different types of masturbation?
In his book, Weiss asks what happens when a Type B masturbator grows up and becomes a pastor, Christian counselor, or Bible teacher. If he universalizes his own experience, this person is likely to think there is nothing wrong with masturbation at all. If Type C people listen to a teacher like this, they either become very confused, or they are encouraged to believe that their lifestyle of fantasy-filled masturbation is okay.
Similarly, if a Type C masturbator becomes a spiritual leader, they will be likely to say that all masturbation is sinful. Type B people are likely to hear this and either get defensive or start feeling a sense of false guilt and shame.
So, is some masturbation OK?
In one sense, because Type B masturbation involves no lust, it would be easy to assume it involves no sin. This is true. But there is another critical question to ask.
What habits are you creating by repeated Type B masturbation? Many feel that the urge to masturbate is out of control. Are you becoming mastered by this habit (see 1 Corinthians 6:12)? If so, you might be reinforcing a false belief that your body is simply your own.
Your body is for the Lord (6:13)—and your wife or your husband if you are married. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (6:19b-20).
More Questions About Masturbation and Lust
Can you change how you masturbate?
Weiss says, in his 20+ years of professional experience counseling men around issues of sexual sin, Type C masturbators rarely ever become Type B masturbators. He welcomes people to attempt the change, but warns, “Be careful not to deceive yourself.”
Can you masturbate without sinning if you are married?
Weiss also reminds married people that when they take a vow of marriage, their sexuality becomes intimately tied to another person. He reminds men of the solemn command of 1 Corinthians 7:4, “The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Regardless of your motive for masturbation, your wife has authority over your sexuality. “God is the first, your wife is the second and you are the third owner of your penis,” writes Weiss.
For Weiss, the issue of married people masturbating is about honesty. Does your spouse know you do it and do they approve? He writes (addressing husbands specifically):
“If you can’t be honest with your wife about your total sexual expression, then you probably need to evaluate the reason for your ongoing lies to your wife.” If you don’t talk to your wife about it, why? Are you still holding on to the belief that your sexuality is “me-sex” vs. “we-sex”?
What if your spouse is the one you fantasize about?
Even if after full disclosure, your spouse approves of you masturbating, is it wrong to “lust” after images of your wife or husband?
Here Weiss offers some sage advice: Does the person of your fantasies match the person you are married to? Do you change aspects of your fantasy wife or husband that don’t match reality? Does they act sexually different in your fantasies? Does they look different?
If so, you are reinforcing a chemical process in your brain to be turned on by a fantasy, and this will only frustrate you when the real person doesn’t measure up.
I would add to this: Masturbating to fantasies of your wife (or husband), while preferable to other images, also trains your body and mind to be more me-centered in your sexuality. Even if your wife approves of your behavior, you should ask whether this activity really helps to move you more towards the image of Christ, who emptied himself and sacrificed all for the love of His bride, the church.
We could talk about exceptions to the norm, of course—prolonged illness or geographical distance between couples. But we also shouldn’t let the conversation about so-called “exceptions” (even if we think they are legitimate) make us overlook the biblical principles that should inform our attitudes.
Ideally, fantasizing about your spouse—a good thing—should be something that propels you towards intimacy, to where sex can be a consummation of love and self-giving.
What do you think? Can you masturbate without lusting? If so, does it matter?
I’ve got a somewhat personal conundrum I’m curious about. Is it wrong to masterbate to memories with your wife if the purpose is to help with P.E. before you have sex so that it is more enjoyable for both of us.
Thanks for your comment. This article, “Is it Wrong to Masturbate to Fantasies of My Wife” helps answer the question: it depends. First, does your wife know about this and is she OK with it? (1 Corinthians 7 teaches that we belong to our spouse sexually). Second, is this actually helping draw you closer together, or is it drawing you into an isolated fantasy? Does it help you treasure your wife more, or are you merely using her (or the memory of her) for sexual arousal? See this article.I can’t answer these questions for you, but I think these are the questions to ask yourself (and your wife).
Blessings,
Keith
I am surprised that all these anti-porn anti-masturbation web sites just completely ignore the BIG issue here. First, the assumption seems to be that the person has access to a sexually available mate. If you do, in my opinion only, you have no business looking at porn or masturbating. So the real issue is, what if you do not have a partner? Say you are 12 years old? How ’bout being stuck in a sexless marriage (such as mine)? There are plenty of other examples.
So, let’s deal with only those who have no partner and probably cannot get one. What is the healthiest way for such a person to meet their sexual needs? As bad as it is, is porn/masturbation preferrable to sleeping around? Prostitution? Life is like this sometimes, all of the choices are unhealthy and destructive.
I have faced such situations a number of times. It really sucks.
I’d love to hear other’s opinions and experiences of sexual need fulfillment when a legitimate mate is not available.
DKL
Ohio
My wife and I both had a long story of porn addiction before we married. In the first 8 or so years of our marriage we both stayed absent from both porn and masturbation. My wife is a Christian psychological counselor and during her studies she also studied sexuality, both from a biblical and psychological perspective. She came to the conclusion, that masturbation (like type b in this article) is healthy and a natural god given practice. I was first sceptical of this and took a few month asking god, studying the Bible and reflecting on myself about it, after which I came to the same conclusion.
After that we tried to incorporate healthy masturbation into our sex life and had some success. One thing we did primarily to combat the temptation of porn in times where we didn’t see each other (we both go on work trips regularly) was to have pictures of each other available to use. We also tried to have video calls when on trips and missing each other.
I personally can say that whenever I sinned by watching porn I felt a huge disconnect to God, which often lead to me neglecting my Bible studies and prayer and my connecting to God suffered a lot. But when practicing healthy masturbating I didn’t experience that at all.
Great article, I really like how you seperate the types of mastb , since saying all mastb is sinful I think only leads to suppression and self harm.
And yes I believe mastb can be without lust. Although it’s very hard to achieve in my opinions but that doesn’t take away from the truth that it’s possible !
I only started being able to seperate it once learning about tantra and nervous system regulation . And how something sinful ties into trauma . Either you are in fight flight mode when u overindulge or escape or your avoiding going there and shut down.. bring fully present seems to be the answer! I hope this helps ppl since it changed my life drastically . I was heavily addicted to mastb few times daily .
When you masturbate without looking at porn is only a matter of time before you start upping the game a bit, because it will get harder to get the job done, its the same when you look at porn, you start with easy or mild scenes, from even just pictures but then you need more, you crave for more! its inevitable and the nature of sin, which is why it is a sin, masturbating destroys your ability to interact with your partner properly during sex, think about how that affects your life and your partner and then ask yourself if that is not sin enough. Other than that, try to think about other stuff, replace the thought with another one, get busy, there’s a big world out there waiting to be explored and discovered with the eyes of a Christian, there’s more important things going on everywhere than you trying to see if masturbating is bad or not, YOU WILL NEVER COME TO A TRUE CONCLUSION other than accepting is bad for you in the long run, therefor is a sin, think about it this way:
You have two beasts inside you and they need to be fed, one is called Spirit and the other is called Flesh, the one you feed is the one that reigns your life, the one you feed is the strongest and biggest, how can you feed Spirit if you are giving him the wrong food? even if Flesh isn’t growing, it doesn’t mean he won’t eat Spirit in the end, Spirit needs its food to withstand Flesh attacks, so how do you feed Spirit? “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” Galatians 5:16. Read the word of God so that you can walk by the spirit and feed it food that is eternal, you will get over it as soon as Spirit gets big enough! trust me, i had a big Flesh inside of me that ripped me apart, God picked me up and showed me this, so i could show it to you. Put on the full armor of God so that you can fight against the devil’s evil tricks. Ephesians 6:11
Masturbation is a sin, it’s in the bible, the word used in the bible was different, check 1 corinthians 6:9,( passion translation). It talked about sexual pervertion, first, what is pervertion, something you’re not doing in the right way, something you’re changing it’s natural course,you can check other preferred dictionary, then what does sexual, means,
“having or involving sex” which results in release of orgasms, now apply both definition to sexual pervertion
abnormal way to achieve sexual orgasms.
Which is that term makes it a complete sense, avoid masturbation
I’m 17years old, I’ve been home for a while now, doing nothing, I’d resume school early October, but have about a year to myself, but I always have this strong feelings to masturbate, whenever I get the urge, so I studied myself, whenever I sleep late at night or I’m alone, I have this urge to masturbate, and I have to stay home all by myself, mom doesn’t want me to work for security reasons. But I don’t know what to do, I need y’all advices , please
God bless you
Thanks for reaching out! We’re here to help any way we can. Here’s an article that outlines six important steps to overcome unwanted sexual behavior. I hope you find this encouraging!
Blessings,
Keith
Great blog, people open and easy to tell secrets.I have homosexual tendencies, in the past I have acted on them. I am a Christian I am saved.i haven’t meet men in a very long time but still have the desire.I need your prayers!
Question : We know that men have wet dream if they don’t masturbate, do spiritual people also have suchdream , also do such dream count as sin even though we don’t have control over it???
I have compiled a list of “Random Thoughts” on sexuality. I am sure much is fodder for the discussion at hand ;-)
1. Your body is a biological machine designed by the Creator to reproduce. Sexual urges are governed by hormones that drives mechanisms designed for sexual arousal. You can’t “preach it away, speak it away, deny it, or run from it”. It’s a fact. Stop making it weird.
Start with biology as the foundation. If any advice goes contrary to biological norms, then it is unrealistic. God is not going to “command us” to do something thats contrary to how God designed us. That would be a very sadistic god.
For example, an attractive person walks by, and you become sexually aroused. You become fixated on that person for a moment, as in… “they caught your eyes”. Guess what? You were biologically designed that way. And if she/he is single, we might pursue them to find out more. What if we end up dating? Natural sexual desires happens next. We will dream of her/him with sexual thoughts. Over time we start to crave, desire, and fixate more about them. None of this means we are perverted, unbridled lust mongers. We just naturally desire to bond and mate with them.
It’s the “how” we go through these stages that makes a difference. Are we honorable, are we practicing self control and moderation… are we considering good boundaries?
2. Self control doesn’t always mean abstinence. Self control is applying parameters and moderation in all things. It’s the “self”, deciding when, “to do or not to do”, something that is healthy vs harmful. It’s a process of regulating the course of action, not necessarily abstaining from the act.
3. Humans operate differently from each other. Placing your boundaries, teachings, assumptions and beliefs on one person may not work for them like it does for your situation. To assume that your method is right and everyone else is wrong can be damaging. They may have a different system that is actually better and more healthy for them. Don’t condemn or shame, instead share what works for you and why and then listen. If what you shared is of God, then let God work on the persons heart. Stop trying to convince them otherwise.
4. Try this. Instead of looking at the term “Sinful”, ask yourself what is “healthy and unhealthy”. It offers more concrete ideas to work with. Because what is sinful to one person may not be sinful to another. Drinking wine is a good example. It is more helpful to understand what is healthy or unhealthy for both the body and spirit than what is sinful. Of course we can commit acts that are sinful, but they will also be unhealthy acts. Likewise, all healthy acts will be good for both the body and spirit.
5. What is Lust? We sometimes throw that word around as a placeholder for anything “sexual” in nature? Is Lust the sex drive, or the way we respond to it? Is it a natural response or unbridled sexual urges? The problem with discussing lust generally lies in how one defines lust. If you asked ten people, you would get ten different flavors to the answer. For me, to lust after something takes more than just sexual arousal. It has to become a fixation that I can’t / won’t turn away from… that starts to control me vs me controlling the situation.
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How I avoid lust is surprisingly simple once I learned that the “struggle to avoid it” was more the issue than “the person” I was looking at.
I learned back in college as a sexual charged teenager, undergoing a fine arts major degree, who had to view 4 years of looking at nudes in paintings and in drawing classes (the same would apply to medical students) that to overcome lustful thoughts and feelings was to…
… simply admire the human body, as God creation.
I found after a summer long battle of constant defeat of “lusting at all the pretty girls” that seemed to swarm my campus, that averting my eyes and walking away fast, with face downward from the beauty only made things worse. Why? Because I was denying a truth… that I was “designed to admire” creation.
Then one day, in a very frustrated and shame-filled prayer session, while crying out yet again for God to set my heart free of “lusting after all the pretty girls”, God spoke to my heart and said, “I made all things beautiful… acknowledge it. Stop trying to run away from it but instead confront it with thankfulness”.
Yes, you can look at someone who is both sensual and beautiful and not lust after it. It may even be that married person. It doesn’t matter, you are simply acknowledging a beautiful creation, not possessing it! So grow up and respect, don’t degrade, but admire and give thanks… then move on!
I will even sometimes pray for that attractive person something like.. “dear God, send that person a wonderful mate, or bless that persons marriage”… and you know what, after a week of doing this, the enemy no longer has a hold on you because you turned something he kept harassing you about into something of a thing of beauty, praise worthy and blessed it instead.
Peace
Hok Nok
I’m an abstinent woman and can hardly contain myself much longer as far as masturbation goes. I was weak one day a while back and did it to dirty images and I repented but I really miss sex. I have no husband and no sex for over 3 years and I am tired of being without sex. Im at the point where I want to just marry any guy so i can use him for sex. Horrible and defeats the purpose of godliness. I feel like I need to drain myself but cant. I decided to research masturbation without lust and ended up here. Didnt help much. I’m not trying to keep law, I’m just trying not to abuse God’s grace. Seems like being a B person still is using this body that doesn’t belong to us the wrong way. What to do?
Hey Hannah,
I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with masturbation. It’s a normal and healthy expression of our sexuality. It’s not a sin. There’s literally not one verse in the Bible that supports the idea that masturbation for pleasure is a sin. This whole idea is a simply a leftover from puritanical sexual shame, and people are being shamed and tortured over this for no good reason. It would absolutely be horrible to marry someone just to use them sexually, and yet this is what purity culture and puritanical sexuality have forced onto many couples. Purity culture objectifies human beings in this way, and then wonders why people in purity culture struggle with pornography use. Instead, we could appreciate that God’s grace is your body, which belongs to you, and a wholesome and good part of your body is your sexuality. I hope you will be set free from sexual shame and enjoy the gift of your own sexuality.
Peace,
Kay